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AwesomeCorp

“Give any other person a block of steel, and they'll either make you a gun, or a pair of metal panties. Give me a block of steel and I'll make something awesome.” - Phil Nates, Supervisor of the Technology Branch

History

With war on the minds of the rest of the world, few people would often go around and think, 'What can I make awesome today?' Of course, normally, people wouldn't go through that thought process anyway. However, Phil Nates was never a normal Nepleslian. He was a genius of a young man who couldn't help but take apart anything comprised more than one part. Whether it was rockets on skateboards, little hemi-engines in toy cars, or shotguns in the place of headlights on a vehicle, it was sure to be called some kind of awesome.

However, the really fascinating thing about Phil was his fanatical devotion to miniaturization. He loved to make things small, as small as they could get. When he was done making things small, he put so much of it together it would turn into something big. Around the year YE 25, Phil's girlfriend and business major, Eulalie Tofflemier urged her man to try and sell his confounded creations. Phil was uneasy marketing most of his inventions, mainly out of fear that they we're a tad dangerous to people who didn't hold them correctly.

Eulalie wouldn't let him get off so easily, though. With a little feminine charm, she convinced him to market a cybernetic upgrade that he invented a year before. It was a small cleaning unit that would operate within cybernetics, allowing them to automatically dust and remove waste collected from the world. The upgrade sold well, and was enough to get a business running. However, Phil soon found that he couldn't focus merely on Cybernetics, that was CCU's territory and had been for quite a while. So Phil started to think about what he could make that would secure some business. Then it came to him, make some Awesome stuff.

It was a simple idea, but with the help of a few hired friends, Eulalie and Phil started up a technology company that would come to be known as, AwesomeCorp. Within the next six years, the corporation would manufacture the majority of civilian electronics on Nepleslia. One of their most financially successful inventions was the A.I. driven register system that a good amount of retailers use to check-out their products. These days, the most famous of AwesomeCorps inventions would probably have to be, the DataJockey.

AwesomeCorp Mission Statement, Goals, and Mascot

“I assure you, sir, our goal here at AwesomeCorp is to make you as awesome as we are. No sir, I don-, Please don't yell-, I'm sorry!” *Begins to sob* - Customer Service Phone Receptionist

Mission Statement

AwesomeCorp developers must set out to create things that are simply so awesome, that it hurts. Unlike other companies, we must set out to fill the electronic gaps that other developers fail to fill. We set ourselves aside by not just making great things, but giving everyone the joy of having great things.

Goals

  • Be awesome.
  • Create technology that is significantly Nepleslian.
  • Make electronics that will catch the public eye and so versatile, that people will have trouble finding ways not to use it.
  • Miniaturize technology so small, that we could make a DataJockey the size of a cigarette lighter.

Mascot

Mr. Green

Engineered by Phil Nates himself, Mr. Green is the one and only mascot of AwesomeCorp. Mr. Green is equipped with an AwesomeClaw which was one of Phil Nates more virgin designs that never really caught on.

AwesomeCorp Products

The AwesomeCorp DataJockey was one of Awesomecorp's greatest achievements. This datapad is widely used across Nepleslian owned worlds, and mass-produced to work as powerful personal data assistant and communication device. While this datapad is sold in stores across Nepleslian space, it is free standard-issue to Star Military of the Democratic Imperium of Nepleslia Personnel. The price for this item generally goes from 200 DA to 5000 DA.

  • AwesomeCorp Holographic Shopping Vendor, “Sales-Droid”

The AwesomeCorp Shopping Vendor is an A.I. driven piece of equipment that can be programmed to sell any product one wants in absence or presence of the owner. Prices of the Shopping Vendor vary with the model bought, which can discussed with a DelMon Executive.

  • AwesomeCorp Cybernetics Cerebral Assistant, “Cere-buddy”

The Cerebuddy is a rather expensive cybernetic brain enhancement made by Awesomecorp's cybernetics branch; however, you do get what you pay for. The cybernetics include an increased memory capability (through a colorful filing interface), processing abilities (a quantum calculator being the most notable), a few media-playing utilities (Aethersperm preloaded songs optional upon purchase!) and the ability to wire into interface-able technologies via a port in the back of her head or through dedicated wireless networks. Cere-buddies usually range around 300,000 DA.

  • AwesomeCorp Visual Assistant, “Smart-Specs”

Designed to work with the Cerebuddy and other cybernetic brain enhancements, the Smart Specs are an alternative to utilizing cybernetic eye enhancements to view the more visual aspects of the Cerebuddy, such as video-media or the extensive filing system. The viewing end of the spectacles contained minimized volumetric imaging equipment which receives data directly from the users Cerebuddy through a short-range high-band communication suite. The Smart Specs can come in all shapes and sizes, but due to the space necessary for the volumetric displays, holds no vision-altering significance…it is suggested users have corrective eye surgery, or purchase cybernetic eye enhancements if their vision is unfavorable. Smart Specs come in all shapes and sizes, colors and numbers of lenses (for you four-eye species out there!), so be stylish AND functional today, with Smart Specs! Smart-Specs usually range around 10,000 DA.

  • AwesomeCorp Soft-Drink, “Dr. Baus”

This drink is AwesomeCorps answer to a soda that is not only delicious, but mildly healthy. Dr. Baus is a health-soda packed with vitamins, caffiene, and stimulants. Most people will have large portions of their daily values in a can of Dr. Baus, along with a delicious taste to boot. This soda is bottled and canned, and sold in many countries.

Out of the machine, and into the slot rolled a can colored in a dark sage. In giant, impact letters was, DR.BAUS. On one side, was the AwesomeCorp-Seal-of-Frickin'-Delicious-,Man. On the other, was Dr. Bidaus Baus, surrounded by many tanned women of varying races, draped over his manly exterior. Dr. Baus only wore pants-scrubs, and a doctors over-coat. In his left hand, was a signed perscription that said he was prescribing you 354.8 cc of unbridled deliciousness.

AwesomeCorp Branches

Technology Branch

The Tech Development facility of AwesomeCorp is the heart of its operation. Without this heart, there would nothing Awesome about the company. This division is located in the Chiaki Research Complex, in the central area of Funky City. The Complex is divided into five sections, one for each department and an extra for the Chiaki's personal home space.

Notable Personnel

  • Branch Supervisor: Phil Nates - A thinly Nepleslian, known to walk in unannounced.
  • Custodian: Jeff Boonery - An old, old Nepleslian, strangely appears and disappears all the time.
Technology Circle

The process in which an idea is processed into reality goes like so.

MiniDev > DepMax > AttraDes > DestroMal > Market Branch or back to DepMax.


MiniDev

The Department of Miniaturization and Technology Development

“Oh, yeah, sure. We make stuff small, really small. But we're not all about da' small stuff here! I mean, check out some'a da' chicks here in da' buildin', they got boobs bigga' n'some'a tha' chicks in DepMax.” - Alonzo Wiermach, Miniaturization Supervisor.

MiniDev is where all the magic is made before its cast. They make most of the small tech DepMax receives smaller, or they make the tech themselves. MiniDev is separated in two divisions: Miniaturization and Technology. However, both division's can be identified by the bullet-proof, fire-retardant, insulated aprons they wear.

Notable Personel

  • Head Supervisor: Lulu McAlister - A quiet and reserved Nepleslian, known only to speak when spoken to.
Miniaturization

This Division is for making advanced technology smaller. These guys are responsible for taking anything required from DepMax or anything made by the Technology division and making it smaller so that it can put with other things.

Notable Personnel

  • Supervisor: Alonzo Wiermach - A slickster of a Geshrin, not too favored by the women he eyes most of the time.
  • Miniaturization Scientist: Mike Reid - A bi-polar Nepleslian, an everyday sort of guy, usually wears a hat to work.
  • Miniaturization Scientist: Elna Clark - A deadpan kind of Geshrin, she never appears to have an upbeat attitude.
Technology

The Technology division is smaller than its sister division, but serves to come up with new forms of technology that could further AwesomeCorp's electronic development. Usually, a plan will get submitted by the a few of the Theorists, and it would be up to a developer to see if they can build it.

Notable Personnel

  • Supervisor: Mark Everwood - A ruffled and grizzled young Nepleslian, is known to be obsessive over his job.
  • Technology Theorist: Alan Everwood - A clean and cut Nepleslian, usually gets distracted by small changes or spots of dirt.
  • Technology Developer: Richard Everwood - An overly paranoid and thin Nepleslian, often wonders how he and all his brothers are working in the same company, branch, department, and division.

DepMax

The Department of Maximum Achievement

“Tha' fella' h'said bigg'r is better was some kinda' stupid. Ya'll gotta' understand that ya' gotta' make it small, then ya' put all them small things together t'make it somtin' big. Y'see? Small-big things is better than big things.” - Triana Hatu Chiaki, Head Supervisor of DepMax.

DepMax is probably one of the busiest area in the Chiaki Complex, they take technology from MiniDev with technology or ideas from other sources to make the functional electronics AwesomeCorp is known for. You can usually point out a DepMax worker by their use of lab coats as uniforms.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Triana Hatu Chiaki - A very mature looking Nepleslian, she's known to be offset by her bayou accent.
  • Engineer: Everest McClain - A bald, mustache-sporting Geshrin, speaks in a very classy accent.
  • Engineer: Annie Sefreti - A tall, short haired Geshrin, speaks in a cockney accent so thick, that it's sometimes hard to understand her.

AttraDes

The Department of Attractive Design

“Well! Don't you look FABULOUS?” - Wally Remeirez, Head Supervisor of AttraDes

If it's sleek, if it's sexy, and it's got an AwesomeCorp logo on it, it's likely that it was designed by Wally and his crack team designers. AttraDes was the answer of 'How do we make something more awesome?'. It was simple, you just make it sexy, or fabulous, according to Wally. AttraDes personnel are usually very stylish group of people, and can usually be spotted by being the most colorful or artistic looking people you could find.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Wally Remeirez - A metrosexual and flamboyant Nepleslian, known to be rather intimidating due to his ID-SOLesque frame and manly exterior.
  • Concept Artist: Tiffany Owen - A reclusive Geshrin, easily recognized by the large scarf she buries her face behind.
  • Frame Sculptor: Max Perineal - A punk of a Nepleslian, doesn't like to see other Departments coming around his own.

DestroMal

The Department of Destruction and Malfunction

“Why is my job so great? Because I live every Nepleslian's boy or girlhood dream. I break stuff for a living.” - Davis McArthur, Destruction Tester

DestroMal is the anti-thesis of the rest of the Technology Branch. They push every piece of technology that makes it past AttraDes past its limits and tries to test its resistance to destruction and malfunction. DestroMal is put into two divisions due to their different methods of testing.

Head Supervisor: Artemis D'Gregio - A former Nepleslian Marine, she runs her department like an NSS ship.

Destruction

Some call it the best job in the world, Destruction division just calls it another job well-done. When AttraDes sends out its final product, it's sent to Destruction first to test its field survivability. If it does not meet the hypothesized field survivability standards, then it's sent back to DepMax for redesign. Failed designs have the rest of their test prototypes eagerly destroyed by Destruction testers. Destruction Division personnel can be identified by their bright yellow helmets and safety vests.

Notable Personnel

  • Supervisor: Yuri Obilev - A heavily bearded Geshrin, smells of gunpowder, heavily so in the beard.
  • Destruction Tester: Davis MacAuthur - A thuggish looking young Nepleslian, dedicated to his job.
Malfunction

Not exactly as fun as Destruction, but there's always some satisfaction of hacking a program, or finding the limit of something. Malfunction Division hacks and tests the electronic's survivability against humidity and other non-physical forces.

Notable Personnel

  • Supervisor: Carmen Funderburk - A mysterious Nepleslian, she's easily noticeable by the scar on her face.
  • Malfunction Tester: Nessa Allaineous - A very dorky Geshrin, she's easily noticeable by the over sized glasses on her face.

Marketing Branch

The item has been made, and now it's up to the Marketing Branch to get it around Nepleslia and still keep a reputable profit going. The Market Branch is located in the AwesomeCorp Industrial Park, three blocks away from the Chiaki Research Complex in the central area of Funky City.

Notable Personnel

  • Branch Supervisor: Eulalie Nates - A strict and cold Geshrin, loses her stiffness and cold-veinedness when around Phil.

DelMon

The Department of Delicious Money

“What are you doing!? Yes! You! YES! I SAID YOU! Look at your screen! Do you see the typo you made!? Yes, that zero needs to be a six. Do you know how much money we would've lost if I hadn't stopped you there? Yes, we would have lost six DA.” - Andreas Decker, Head Supervisor of Delmon

Their name says it all, they monitor all the numbers going in and out. They manage all the licenses, copyrights, shipping costs, anything that has to do with delicious money. All personnel of DelMon wear green ties with a white AwesomeCorp claw logo.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Andreas Decker - A calculative Nepleslian, likes to be in full office suit at all times.
  • Executive: Selena O'Neil - A sexy vixen of a Nepleslian, has most of the DelMon boys wrapped around her finger, with exception of Andreas.

IntAd

The Department of Interesting Advertisements

Nina.Well.Sheneverreallysleepsduringthenight. So,yousee,ifyoucancomeupwithsomethingthatkeepsherawakeformorethanfiveminutes,you'veprobablydevelopedaninterestingad.” - Julio Petro, Writer for IntAd

Everyone hates having their favorite shows interrupted by crappy commercials, so IntAd sets in to make ads that are so good, it makes your day better by seeing them. Sometimes IntAd will go back and forth between AttraDes to stylize their ads. Personnel of IntAd consider themselves classy individuals, and all wear a uniform green bow tie.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Nina Mendez - A sleepless Geshrin, known to overwork herself.
  • Writer: Julio Petro - A jacked up, jumpy Nepleslian, is unable to sit still for more than ten minutes, so has to write Ad ideas and scripts as he walks.

ProShip

The Department of Industrial Production and Shipping

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, WORKING WITH YOU PEOPLE IS LIKE WORKING WITH A BUNCH OF LEGLESS DYSLEXIC RETARDS! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.” - Bill Franz, Head Supervisor of ProShip

The blueprints are made, the numbers are set, now it's time to make it. The Factory facilities are the territory of ProShip, the mass-producers of AwesomeCorp. However, products have to got to get somewhere, somehow, and ProShip are the guys who can do it. They handle shuttling products to retailers all around the Nepleslian boundary. Workers in ProShip wear bright orange baseball hats and vests to make sure that they're easy to spot.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Bill Franz - A thick ID-SOL, he's been known to hop down from his supervisor position and help with the flow of work.

Service Branch

The one branch that doesn't completely focus on the processing of products and placement. Service Branch personnel work in both the Chiaki Complex and the AwesomeCorp Industrial Park. They answer and transfer questions of customers and take care of AwesomeCorp workers. The Supervisor offices of the branch are located at park itself.

  • Branch Supervisor: Humga - a straight-forward Custodian War Android, often wonders why people feel intimidated by him.

CusRep

The Department of Customer Reception

CusRep handles the customers of AwesomeCorp who have experienced some sort of bug or break in their products. It's ironic for some, because the name of the department is CusRep, and cussing is exactly what they hear most of the time. Most of CusRep offices are kept at low temperatures so they all wear the CusRep scarf identify their affiliation with the division. The Department's Supervisor office is located at the AwesomeCorp Industrial park.

“Hello! Welcome to the CusRep Service Hotline! Now, let's get down to business. Press one if your product is not working correctly or is broken, press two if your product has worked too well, press three if you're here to give a customer compliment, press four if your calling to order a specific product directly from us, press five if you're a retailer wishing to sell an AwesomeCorp product, and finally press six if you need someone to plainly yell and scream to rid yourself of frustration and then we will transfer you back to the main menu.” *The tone for number six is sounded* - CusRep Automated Reception System.
“Hello! My name is La- Wait, sir, you d- I- *Starts sobbing* I'm sorry! Plea- *Continues to sob* Why do I always get number six customers!?” - Lana Darkly, Recpetionist of CusRep, receiving the caller from the above quote.

Notable Personnel

  • Head Supervisor: Reggie Doppler - A stubborn and angry Nepleslian, many wonder how he can run CusRep with such efficiency.
  • Receptionist: Lana Darkly - A cheery, but weak-willed Geshrin, is known to cry in intense situations, especially on phones with customers.

LivRes

The Department of Living Resources

“I can proudly say that I am probably the top caregiver to everyone! Of course, my Nymphomania rehab has gone down the drain, but I'm always feeling great! Why just a few minutes ago, Lana was crying about some number six or something, so I- CENSOR, and we both had get a shower after that. Though, I was still feeling a bit helpful so she and I- CENSOR. It was closing time when we got done, so we back to my place and- CENSOR. I was really sore when I woke up the next morning. Of course, we're technically not allowed to do that, but what the hay! *Giggle* Hey, think we could take this interview to that closet over there?” Natalia Reeves, Caregiver for CusRep

Like the Star Army of Yamatai and the Star Military of the Democratic Imperium of Nepleslia, AwesomeCorp possesses its own army of caretakers to properly supply, nourish, and maintain the well-being of AwesomeCorp workers. Unlike other departments which report to a department supervisor, LivRes personnel report directly to the branch supervisor, Humga. LivRes wear the scarves like CusRep, but the scarf is draped over the shoulders to show difference.



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corp/awesomecorp.txt · Last modified: 2019/06/04 17:01 by 148.251.241.12