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faction:nepleslia:premier_pyros_pro-tips_to_plucky_pugilism_and_proper_punching

P7 Pamphlet

The P7 Pamphlet is the main source of knowledge in concerns to gentlemanly conduct when fighting bare-fisted in the traditional Nepleslian brawl. Published in YE 34, and issued in YE 35, the Pamphlet aims to give soldiers in the Star Military of the Democratic Imperium of Nepleslia an abbreviated notion of Nepleslian Culture and Honor. The P7 pamplet is issued to all Nepleslian soldiers and foreign dignitaries.

The name 'P7' is derived from the pamplet's first article entry, Premier Pyros' Pro-Tips to Plucky Pugilism and Proper Punching

History

In the waking years after the war with the Mishhuvurthyar, the Star Military of Nepleslia saw rise to an increasing number of foreign nationals, refugees, and soft-cheeked recruits join the ranks of the illustrious Navy and Marines. This 'Fresh Meat', as some Logistical Commissars tended to call them, had a hard time mixing with some of the more hard-boiled Nepleslian Nationals. Despite the free and gregarious nature of Nepleslians, most could not handle the shock from the sudden switch or the very notion of fights or brawls. Many fresh privates could not understand why their reports of violent occurrences in the ranks went ignored by the chain. Furthermore, those that answered in kind to pugilistic bouts sometimes went overboard in a misunderstanding of the brawl's nature.

Sky Marshall Pyros Thrull Westwood became thoroughly aware of this as the rising friendly-casualty rate rose with the influx non-Nepleslian recruits. Talks within the senate resulted in a dangerously close repeat of Yamatai's infamous Species Restriction Order. Pyros, being Premier of the Senate at the time, refuted such notions, claiming that the situation had not escalated to such necessity. However, with the Public Relations Corps floundering at the poor PR the unbalanced brawls caused, the Senate was raring to pass a bill expediently. Pyros asked the Senate to wait a month in their deliberations, stating:

“I've got this.”

In the coming night, Pyros sat down with a stylus and datajockey, and found out very quickly he did not have it at all. So instead, he became very drunk and thought of the troubles his men faced. The time that followed was some reported as a 'serious survey on the nature of people'. Pyros drunkenly wandered the streets, bar-hopping until he passed out in a mechanic shop. The next morning, he awoke to find himself in pool of engine oil, with the first draft of Premier Pyros' Pro-Tips to Plucky Pugilism and Proper Punching. Rereading his documents and only having recalling half of what was written, he quickly returned to his estate to speak to his Aide, Sheva Miles.

Ordinarily, Sheva would deny most drunken submissions by the Premier, being one of the most grizzled PR Corps rep's in the history of the league. However, when Pyros entered into her office, she could not smell the alcohol in his breath over stench of oil on his backside. So, after reading the abbreviated 'pamphlet' she found it intuitive and somewhat edgy, and decided to have posted forth as a cultural reference.

Contents

As of the current, the P7 Pamphlet only consists of one article with various pictures of the situations it represents.


Premier Pyros' Pro-Tips to Plucky Pugilism and Proper Punching

A Guide for the Nepleslian Uninclined in the Matter of Gentlemanly Scraps

Foreword

Here below are some gentlemanly guidelines in the matters of fighting people in Nepleslia. Fighting is a matter of honor, dignity, and entertainment. As such, none of you have any honor, dignity, and a sense of pizazz for entertainment. So, Uncle Premier here is going to provide you with some tips so you'll be an all around better person1).


Pro-Tip #1

Make it clear that you wish to engage in a fight, e.g: Punching him in the face, screaming(drunken or sober), tagging his car, banging his girlfriend, or any other offense that Nepleslians would be forced to challenge you to a fight for.

  • Sub-Tip: You can always just say you want to fight them, too, but youngsters have no class for entertainment these days anyways.

Pro-Tip #2

Weapons are for babies, use your fists, unless guns or knives have been drawn before hand.

  • Sub-Tip: If weapons have been drawn, and you feel like being a little punk and stabbing him before he's ready, then he's got the right to brain you with any blunt object he can get his now bleeding hands on.

Pro-Tip #3

Fight drunk, if possible. When intoxicated, you're less likely to feel pain, and you're more likely to take helpful risks.

  • Sub-Tip: It will also be hilarious.

Pro-Tip #4

Don't cause property damage, not too much of it, anyways. Store owners tend to get fed up with honor pretty quick when it's costing them money.

  • Sub-Tip: Unless you're rich, then make sure to at least compensate your host.

Pro-Tip #5

Incite your enemy. Nothing makes a fight better than passion. People don't want to watch you slog it out like a bunch of kids, they got enough of that when they were kids. Nepleslian's fight with vim, vigor, and pizazz. If you piss off the other guy, he's more likely to entertain the crowd as he bumbles back at you. If you piss him off in creative ways, you've entertained the crowd already.

  • Sub-Tip: Your enemy is also prone to mistakes when angry.

Pro-Tip #6

Do not kill your enemy.

  • Sub-Tip: Unless he has it coming.

Pro-Tip #7

Know when the fight's over. We've all been there. Drunken rage. You're commanding an assault on a whole god damn planet the next morning. You're stressed because your XO tells you proper supplies won't be available until Tuesday. To top it all off, you're completely sober through its entirety. This is no reason to take it out on some private who thinks it's funny to challenge a Master General, and beat him long after he's lost consciousness.

  • Sub-Tip: There's my apology, you pompous pink-slip dealing wanks.
1)
In Nepleslia

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faction/nepleslia/premier_pyros_pro-tips_to_plucky_pugilism_and_proper_punching.txt · Last modified: 2018/06/24 21:02 by club24