Known officially as “Mess Hall Brew, Mass Production, formula No. 5”, this rather… foul-tasting beverage has acquired the nickname “Swampwater Brew”.

• Manufacturer: Iron Company
• Nomenclature: IC-N1-1A
• Price: 1ks a pint¹⁾

Any Valhallan worth their salt loves a good ale, and will often kick back with a pint after a long day of work or in some cases sitting atop the spoils of war after beating the planet's former owners until the flags change-or after the attackers were told “Hippity, Hoppity, Get off My Property!” But as in all things, not all brews are created equally.

The Iron Company often supplies its soldiers with a designated alcohol ration, either a gallon of beer per day, per man, or a pint of spirits if available. These are primarily used to try and purify water in the field in the event water purifiers didn't do the trick²⁾, though alcohol is also used as means of boosting morale as well.

Unfortunately, sometimes the procurement of such beverages is difficult, if not outright impossible as conflict can often lead to supply issues. Not to mention dealing with a hostile native population may end with…complications. So, in an attempt to try and alleviate these problems, Albert Steiner gave the go-ahead for Company units to try and produce their own beers. The results were a number of spirits ranging from strong liquors, more akin to Rotgut-cheap, potentially toxic alcohol-to mild beers.

Eventually, five of these formulas were selected for mass production. And this particular brew just so happened to be selected for serving in the Mess hall, much to the chagrin of the yeoman. The resulting 'Ale' was a gritty, brown-grey fermented liquid that earned a number of rather colorful nicknames such as Cesspit Drought, Bog Ale, Stable Washings, and of course the one that stuck-Swampwater Brew-being the politest of these. In fact, the resulting brew was so bad it caused a very brief rebellion among the yeomen; known simply as the Ale Mutiny. This was put down relatively quickly after being promised a better quality drink-unfortunately the only real improvement was the fact this particular spirit was watered down to make it more palatable.

Still, the other brews are served when available and this is served as a last resort.

The ale in question is a gruit brew; made with a selection of herbs and berries, though the exact contents of the mixture are the subject of hot debate within their ranks.³⁾

Usually, the beer is brewed in large batches using a mixture of grains and malt, whether something as mundane as oats or barley, or perhaps some grain from a local world, with the mix being left to soak overnight, the wort is then extracted, the spices added, and then boiled in water with a source of sugar and after cooling yeast is added and is left to ferment. When served, it is watered to reduce the taste of old crusty socks mixed with unidentifiable, foul undertones. The drink when straight has an alcohol content of 15% and has a taste so foul it can cause the drinker to vomit, while watered down the drink has an 11% alcohol content and is…somewhat palatable.

The watering down also has the benefit of killing off any microbes that managed to survive filtration and thus have prevented or at least reduced outbreaks of waterborne diseases such as dysentery and diarrhea in the event of faulty filtration equipment. However, this does not help the gritty texture from the poor straining of the drink

Swampwater is usually served from giant kegs poured into tin or wood mugs, or is issued in a clay jug capped with a cork and bound with string. The jug is usually required to be returned for refills, but most soldiers prefer to “lose” them so they can replace it with something even remotely better than the current contents.

The flavor of swamp water has been described as follows:

• Old Sweat Socks
• Bitter Mud Flavor
• Oily Grass Clippings
• Moldy Bread
• Musty Root Cellar(How?)

• Clay jugs-the packaging is more useful than the drink-though the awful aftertaste of the beer lingers no matter how much one scrubs at it.

The Company usually serves booze as part of its standard rations. This is one of those drinks that's…better than nothing, but not even the most sleazy, cheapest Nep would touch this one.

Commissar Farzi created this article on 2022/11/08 16:05.

This was approved by Wes on 2023/05/20⁴⁾.