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Approved Submission 80mm Mini Missiles

This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
As a player of the site, I will look over this abiding by the guidelines provided and the Checklist to ensure as unbiased an opinion as possible.
This review is for: 80mm Mini-Missiles

The submitted article is/has…
[ Y ] A very high level of overall quality
[ N ] A general topic sentence under the title header: None under the lead header. I personally wouldn't say anything about it, but the checklist.
[ Y ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\ Very nice BTW, Zacks work?
[ Y ] Needed and/or useful to the setting: Again, I think this would be "To the Faction/Setting" to make the question easier. Submitter ignore this!
[ Y ] In the proper format/template
[ I ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
  • High Explosive Anti Armor Mini Missiles - Anti-Armor and Mini-Missiles, hyphens are needed to be grammatically correct.
  • HEAA mini missiles are also highly agile - Again, Mini-Missiles should be hyphenated
  • Built in should be built-in
  • Mini-Missiles, again.
    Corrections already completed to ease submitters workload, standards used were Grammarly American English for Critical Grammatical Errors. I would honestly highly suggest the program for tech articles and reviewing as it makes everything clear and explains the issues, while making it a breeze to correct.
[ Y ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ Y ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ Y ] No red and/or broken links
[ Y ] Reasonably scientifically plausible: Comment for clarification below
[ Y ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ N ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ N ] Obtusely redundant
[ N ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ N ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ N ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ N ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ N ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ N ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ N ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ N ] Lacking Detail
[ N ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ Y ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines; Comments down below
[ Y ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ Y ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Again, rather open and shut. I would like Clarification if the range on the missile is in space on in atmosphere because this projectile for its size would not be able to go that far in atmosphere. I assumed it was for space in this, please clarify for moderators. Please note, each additional missile would require a resubmission of the article. I assume you know that, but I am merely clarifying.

Status: N/A
 
Edto Xar'Sivaree said:
As a player of the site, I will look over this abiding by the guidelines provided and the Checklist to ensure as unbiased an opinion as possible.
This review is for: 80mm Mini-Missiles

The submitted article is/has…
[ Y ] A very high level of overall quality
[ N ] A general topic sentence under the title header: None under the lead header. I personally wouldn't say anything about it, but the checklist.
[ Y ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\ Very nice BTW, Zacks work?
[ Y ] Needed and/or useful to the setting: Again, I think this would be "To the Faction/Setting" to make the question easier. Submitter ignore this!
[ Y ] In the proper format/template
[ I ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
  • High Explosive Anti Armor Mini Missiles - Anti-Armor and Mini-Missiles, hyphens are needed to be grammatically correct.
  • HEAA mini missiles are also highly agile - Again, Mini-Missiles should be hyphenated
  • Built in should be built-in
  • Mini-Missiles, again.
    Corrections already completed to ease submitters workload, standards used were Grammarly American English for Critical Grammatical Errors. I would honestly highly suggest the program for tech articles and reviewing as it makes everything clear and explains the issues, while making it a breeze to correct.
[ Y ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ Y ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ Y ] No red and/or broken links
[ Y ] Reasonably scientifically plausible: Comment for clarification below
[ Y ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ N ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ N ] Obtusely redundant
[ N ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ N ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ N ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ N ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ N ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ N ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ N ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ N ] Lacking Detail
[ N ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ Y ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines; Comments down below
[ Y ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ Y ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Again, rather open and shut. I would like Clarification if the range on the missile is in space on in atmosphere because this projectile for its size would not be able to go that far in atmosphere. I assumed it was for space in this, please clarify for moderators. Please note, each additional missile would require a resubmission of the article. I assume you know that, but I am merely clarifying.

Status: N/A
Click to expand...

For future reference, @Edto Xar'Sivaree, the checklist found in the Guide for Submission Reviewers is (as far as I'm aware) supposed to be utilized by NTSE moderators only in order to prevent confusion regarding the identities of the aforementioned moderators.
 
Go to should be go-to.

"...and are good for just about everything..." This seems a bit bombastic to me. Can you clip this?

Speaking of bombastic: "Damage wise, it is capable of crippling even shielded power armor, and a salvo of them can gut a tank."

If you're going to say HEAA, explain that it's an abbreviation for High Explosive Anti Armor the first time you use it.

Damage Description: Shaped High explosive (Either capitalize all or only the first word)

"More missiles will be added as they are needed/designed." (Will you be submitting these? Why is this in OOC?)
 
Fixed those things, and thats in OOC because I meant when they're needed or designed OOC. I guess it just felt like I should put it there.
 
Going to bed rn but I will look over it later. Thanks for your patience!
 
Ametheliana said:
Go to should be go-to.

Damage Description: Shaped High explosive (Either capitalize all or only the first word)

"More missiles will be added as they are needed/designed." (Will you be submitting these? Why is this in OOC?)
Click to expand...

I still need these addressed.
 
I adressed the grammar problems, moved the more missiles section up to the top area and added a bit in OOC about the procedure for adding new missile types.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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