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Approved Character [ECV Raven] Senna Damoscles
- Thread starter IQ
- Start date
club24
Everything Is Magical
thanks for the birb ovo
just a few little things which I think could be cleared up better on the page
1. the plot is non military and while previous military service is not bad by any means the way it's written comes across as though she is still serving which would not happen
2. while PRE RP history is not required to be huge if you could flesh out what you have there a little more that would be appreciated, describe her early life a little more perhaps and some what drove her to go into the profession she now has as a way to establish a reason for her doing what she does
3. I noticed her parents don't share a last name, while this is not impossible, just for the sake of clarification could you include reasoning for this either in history or social connections depending on where its appropriate
4. once again, with skills if you could provide a means to the end for the medical and basic training (i recommend renaming it to that as well to save space but its not required) so that it shows how she came to have those skills and provide a brief explanation of what her Archeology major adds to her character
also you have her listed as being 21 years old this year YE 40 but then also have her listed as having tertiary education (the major) and military service both of which would be a few years, gonna tag @Wes here about the usage of that particular weapon due to some recent events which I dont have enough info to make the call myself
overall I like the concept and character and look forward to seeing her in the plot, just let me know when those few little changes have been done and ill come check her over once more ^^ (PS if you could turn the ECV Raven mentioned in her history into a link back to the page that would be greatly appreciated by the wiki gods)
just a few little things which I think could be cleared up better on the page
1. the plot is non military and while previous military service is not bad by any means the way it's written comes across as though she is still serving which would not happen
2. while PRE RP history is not required to be huge if you could flesh out what you have there a little more that would be appreciated, describe her early life a little more perhaps and some what drove her to go into the profession she now has as a way to establish a reason for her doing what she does
3. I noticed her parents don't share a last name, while this is not impossible, just for the sake of clarification could you include reasoning for this either in history or social connections depending on where its appropriate
4. once again, with skills if you could provide a means to the end for the medical and basic training (i recommend renaming it to that as well to save space but its not required) so that it shows how she came to have those skills and provide a brief explanation of what her Archeology major adds to her character
also you have her listed as being 21 years old this year YE 40 but then also have her listed as having tertiary education (the major) and military service both of which would be a few years, gonna tag @Wes here about the usage of that particular weapon due to some recent events which I dont have enough info to make the call myself
overall I like the concept and character and look forward to seeing her in the plot, just let me know when those few little changes have been done and ill come check her over once more ^^ (PS if you could turn the ECV Raven mentioned in her history into a link back to the page that would be greatly appreciated by the wiki gods)
I'm not sure, but I would guess it's less common for people to get married in the first place, or to change their names when they do (?).
Either way, I think that this might be one of those things where applying real world culture to SARP universe culture might fit strangely.
Either way, I think that this might be one of those things where applying real world culture to SARP universe culture might fit strangely.
Though it's eleven days late (>.<), as the Faction Manager of Elysia I hereby APPROVE Senna Damoscles for usage within the roleplay! ovob
