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Approved Submission [Horizon] Custom 001 - Bio-Dissaster Faceplate

club24

club24

Everything Is Magical
Submission Type: gear
Template Used: none
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:galactic_horizon:gh-g3-2d
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-g3-2d

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? NO, @Ethereal and @Wes since it relates to SA stuffs
Faction requires art? not sure but will be looking at getting it a piece later

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:
tagged Wes as this faceplate was designed as a request here to replace the standard visor and chinguard of the type 34 helmet, I have't modified the existing tech at all just made an attachment for it based on dimensions. If you'd prefer I just do a full helmet so as not to have it involving SA stuff i will update the page ^^
 
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Abbreviations should not be used as titles.

You need a general topic sentence or paragraph under the title and before any new sub-headers.

More info on what would be seen on the HUD besides outside visuals is important.

"see the minimap style of The Divison for reference." is vague and doesn't link to anything.

"several small audio sensors which can relay directions of sounds" Needs explaining and technical terms here.

Thank you for having such a top notch submission!
 
changed the title
added a small line between title and first heading
added extra infor for the HUD
linked the HUD style as used in The Division for reference
added technobabble to the audio sensors

I also did some little extra bits that i noticed could be improved and moved a couple things around, along with adding the OOC info which i initially forgot to do ^^
 
Oh thanks for the img change Ame, and yeah although im not really editing anything SAoy still good to get wes to check it too, just as further clarification it's not a full helmet just the bit that attaches to the front ^^
 
I was hesitant to upload art from another game on our own wiki with all the potential copyright issues and such, but i can upload it if that's what you need done

Otherwise i can do my own basic design to avoid all that hassel, any other issues aside from that?
 
If they're not something we have permission to use, you can't use it at all on Star Army.
 
Edited out the URL completely.

Club, can you just put a better explanation of the minimap?
 
Yeah i can do that, i was under the impression we could use things as a reference if it was just a test link so my bad for that one
 
You can still link (text link) to references, but please don't embed them or upload them. We want to keep the SARP wiki original and legit in terms of copyright.
 
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