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Approved Submission [IIS] Mercian

Ethereal

Ethereal

Banned Member
Submission Type: Ship
Template Used: Starship
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:iis:mercian
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:iis:mercian

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? No @Wes
Faction requires art? ???

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:
So this uses spacial compression technology already approved in setting with actual science and calculations behind how much material it can decompress.
 
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Maybe you could cut one or two of the ships out in photoshop and slap it on a space background so that the same pic doesn't appear twice, while maintaining visual stimulation at multiple points.
 
Spacial compression interiors aren't really welcome in the SARP setting.

Also, I've deleted the image, because it's copyrighted. Never upload Star Trek images onto Star Army, or any artwork you don't have permission to use, or is from an existing IP/franchise.
 
May you add that to the rules @Wes along with magic and such (the key word I'd use is atomic assembly)? I came up with this months before that Lorath ship resurfaced totally independently, so it's bound to come up again in future.

You might want to reword the nodal fabrication module because this isn't new technology, it's already in every Mindy with that module, I just ran the maths :S

Theoretically anyone with a Mindy can right now in setting do what this ship does since the maths checks out, it doesn't use any additional technology other than that ><

Maybe there should be a guide for uploading images to SARP too actually, since we're on the topic if someone wants to do that. Not many people known exactly what the restrictions and such are and there must be others like me too broke to buy art.
 
Last edited:
There are guides to uploading images:
In the case of this image, the image itself said that it was by John Eaves and was for the game Star Trek Online, which means it's property of Cryptic Studios and/or CBS. The image had been downloaded from somewhere and re-uploaded to Flicker by a random dude under a false Creative Commons license. This is what's known as License Laundering. See also: Questionable Flickr Images.

I looked at the Mindy Nodal Fabrication Module page and it says there's compressed (squished/dense) materials inside, but it doesn't actually say anything about spatial compression.
 
Right awesomesauce @Wes, so I changed according to your comments and now it's a mobile fleetyard that takes in solids from outside sources and converts then to useful materials using the same femtomachines in the Fab Module. It's 1:1, there's no compression this time, it's all from whatever supply ship follows it around.
 
Okay, that takes care of my objections -- setting submission mods do your thing. Checklist requested.
 
Ah, very good point. When I made this article I was unaware of Zesu's hard-to-create properties. I'm assuming now that even femtomachines doing atomic assembly can't create it - I'll edit that now. For future, it can essentially make whatever can be made through standard atomic assembly. Thanks for the pointer Riz :)
 

The submitted article is/has…
[N] A very high level of overall quality
[Y] A general topic sentence under the title header
[N/A] Artwork
[Y] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Y] In the proper format/template
[Y] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Y] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Y] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Y] No red and/or broken links
[Y] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[N] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N] Obtusely redundant
[N] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[N] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[N] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[N] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Y] Lacking Detail
[N] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

*****

@Ethereal

Starting with the more optional stuff, I have to say that the article fits the template and has the basic amount of information necessary, though what currently bothers me is that it's still a rather bare-bones article. I'd prefer it if you added additional details to the article, since even if I approve it in its current state, it won't exactly shine. For an example, the appearance section doesn't go into detail about how the ship looks - whether or not it's smooth, or hard and angular, or if there's numerous construction struts and the like jutting out of it. I also have to question why the pilot of the ship has to be in cryostasis; at this size, it can easily have a breakfast nook, a bit of food storage, a stove or such, a bunk and a restroom and stuff, without negatively impacting performance.

I'll bullet point the more pressing matters though.
  • The fabrication system is from the Star Army - if you want to use it, you'll have to ask approval from Wes, otherwise you'll have to write your own section on it here
  • The 'computers and electronics' area needs information on the ship's own computing system, sensors and the like, not the complement of drones
  • Since the vehicle complement is currently empty, make it a part of "inside the ship" and detail the various construction/hangar bays instead
  • Its drones and the like should likely go into the construction/hangar bays I just mentioned above
  • We need to know what kind of system the auxiliary propulsion is; heavy fusion, turbo-aether-plasma, etc?
  • CDD is very advanced considering the velocity it's pumping out; is this deliberate?
 
...isn't the abandonment timer 30 days or something? Besides, they could be back in a week or two for all we know, so there's no point in acting like they'll be gone for a year or something.
 
You're right, that is why I tagged him and gave it some time. He can pick the article back up as was stated. More than that, I can contact Ethereal before I move it. Give him his time to reply here, though.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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