Approved Submission Usonium

[Alex Hart]

Submission Type: Material
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=material:usonium

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When) yes
Faction requires art? (Yes/No) no

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No) no
Contains New art? (Yes/No) no
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected) no

Notes: So, I did a bit of a goof, for some reason I thought this got approved yesterday, so I took the WIP tag off of the top of an article, leading to it being removed. I restored it and added back in the WIP tag and am submitting it now.

 

[Ametheliana]

Can you add a bit to the top line? At least a period, but another intro sentence would help.

Can you specify more about this metal alloy?

You use the word Rohinium instead of Usonium.

"...disallowing “regeneration”, or return to original shape." (Did you mean allowing instead of disallowing?)

 

[Alex Hart]

Changes have been made.

 

[Ametheliana]

You didn't make all of the changes I requested.

 

[Alex Hart]

What did I miss?

 

[Ametheliana]

I noticed the intro had nothing added to it.

 

[Alex Hart]

How's that?

 

[Ametheliana]

"...but less heavy and effective of protection." (Of isn't the word you're looking for. Maybe for is the word you're looking to use?)

 

[Alex Hart]

Thanks, And fixed.

 

[Ametheliana]

Approved

 

[FrostJaeger]

Fixed a minor typo in the first sentence.

 

[Ametheliana]

Changes Approved