What's new
Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 October and November 2024 are YE 46.8 in the RP.

Approved Submission Cordoba Combat Mecha

Rizzo

Rizzo

Well-Known Member
Submission Faction(s)
  1. None (nebulas, etc.)
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
What I have here is multiple items that go together but are connected to the entire FSC lineup. I did a ton of updates to my pages in the form of clarifying explainations, correcting discrepancies in caliber, and making plain new articles!
Cordoba Combat Mecha:

Recoilless Graviton Howitzer:

Ammo types:
SP-ADR was approved previously but needed clarification. After collaboration on Discord I rewrote much of this article including a different damage Tier
 
Upvote 1 Downvote
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
That looks cool.

Are they generally painted white like the AI image you got or do your guys use some rad paint schemes?
 
I will take this one. Give me some time. Reviewer Assigned.
 
I added a list of accessories, but FSC products in general are built to integrate with almost anything. Literally nothing truly proprietary from a company that stole all of its knowledge of technology from the Kuvvies.

EDIT: added art for the Howitzer and updated the description.
 
Last edited:
Hi Rizzo,

Let's get to work and get this to where it needs to be to be approved.

  1. Please use the Power Armor/Mecha Template
  2. The art for this is absolutely fantastic, needs credit for the art though. Ie. If it is from an AI, it should be stated in the OOC Information Section of the Page.
  3. Speaking of the OOC Notes Section of the article is missing altogether. I notice this is the case on most of your pages, if you could please add that in on them that would be great.
  4. I see the nomenclature you used is not the International Standard. While you're welcome to use an alternative it still requires the International Stand Nomenclature as well. If you need help assigning this let me know, and I can do it for you.
  5. I was unable to find the approval information for this sub-article, so let's include it with this submission. If you make it comply with the component template that would be wonderful.
  6. I'm not showing approval for this weapon article either, cause the original tech it was submitted on was rejected. If you want to include it as a sub-article, just fit it into the weapons template, and I will review it again.
  7. The Ashigaru Weapon Systems is improperly linked. The Accessories Table will be resolved using the template. Each Weapon should have its DRv3 value visible on the page as well.
  8. The article has incorrectly nested sections which should be corrected when it is converted to a template.
(Optional-Not required for Approval) I would be really happy if you took the time to update the already approved sub-articles you've used in this page. A lot of them are old stubs and could use being brought into compliance with the new templates.

Recoilless Graviton Howitzer​

1. Use weapons template, and I will review it again. Also needs an OOC Notes Section.
2. This weapon seems a bit over powered for a Tier 8 Mecha? According to the article it can fire up to a Tier-12 shot. Can this article be made more reasonable to the platform it is being used on?

Ammo Types​

1. The Link to the https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:fscorp:products:sp-adr does not work.
2. These need to be converted to the Ammunition Template.

It should be fairly easy for you to bring these articles into compliance. I know you've been gone a while so some of the requirements have changed. I'd recommend taking some time to read over Submission Rules on Star Army Space Roleplay

I like the design though, just needs some work. Have a good evening.
 
Alrighty, went through and made most of the revisions needed. Had a couple sticking points I feel can be worked out with some clarification. I plan to overhaul templates as I'm going and primarily want this puppy ready for the Fall of Osman, so my current milestone is just that. before the year is out FSC will either be super cool or NMX food... Anywho! following your instructions:

  1. Mecha template conversion complete.
  2. I footnoted the AI art. I realize now you said "OOC Notes" but it's right under that section. Is that okay? I can add it to OOC Notes as well.
  3. Speaking of the OOC Notes Section... Added!
  4. Fixed Nomenclature you STUCK UP YAMATAIAN BAST- I mean, I've adjusted it to better fit the standard template. I used the designation YM2 to denote that it is a product for sale to civilians.
  5. Added approval information for this sub-article and plan to make it comply with new standards later if we can, got a lot of renovation going on.
  6. Also added approval for this weapon article. I think I broke the link When I renamed it. It was previously called "STARFIGHTER rgc" but it's nt just for starfighters soooo... yeah, bad name. Starfighter PLW needs the same treatment but needs way more than a name change.
  7. The Ashigaru Weapon Systems is no longer in a chart. It's maybe a cheesy workaround but technically compliant format-wise.
  8. Template fixed nesting errors.
Promise, I'll be addressing the sub articles as I go! Really, you just gotta believe!

Recoilless Graviton Howitzer​

1. Now using weapons template, complete with an OOC Notes Section!
2. Weapon Tiers and scaling is an oddball. Knocked it down a tier. Weapon now tops out at Tier 11. WepLim allows a T8 mecha to mount 1 single T11 weapon and the Stage 2 mod is literally just an excuse to do that. I'll just make a bigger grav gun later!

Ammo Types​

1. The Link to the SP-ADR Broke but should be working now.
2. These will be converted to the Ammunition Template but it's super late now. These ammo types were approved previously for the RGC where they would still be good had I not intentionally nerfed them. Any chance I can use on page for each type of ammo(3 pages) rather than each type AND caliber(6 pages)?
 
A few things in your main article,

The very top of the article should be a one or two-sentence explanation of exactly what it is. Then maybe find a way to combine that big long paragraph at the top into your "About" section. Maybe put the image down under "Appearance".

ie.

======Cordoba Combat Mecha======
The Cordoba Combat Mecha is a combat mech introduced by the [[corp:fscorp:fms]] in [[timeline:ye_45]].
=====History=====


For determining the proper international nomenclature for this, I'd need to know - How many mecha has the company produced prior to this one?


The Wikipedia links to the actual Wikipedia, should be formatted like this, here is one example you have several- [[wp>Pyrotechnic_fastener|explosive bolts]]


Tier 10, is the maximum DR I am willing to accept on the Recoiless Graviton Howitzer.

There appears to be a formatting problem in this paragraph:

Returning to the tried and true design method FMS swears by, the Cordoba has no weapons that are truly “for the Cordoba” but rather the designers chose a hand design that embraces the widest range of weapon systems possible. A universal hand system. The hands on the Cordoba are possibly the single most flexible mechanism on the mecha as they can automatically adjust to nearly any mecha-scaled handheld weapon system including the entire lineup of Origin Industries frame accessories. To make room for this highly flexible system there are no usable forearm hardpoints. In an effort to promote unrivaled multirole flexibility and continue utilizing weapons developed for the Wahoo Interceptor FMS developed a series of gunpods and shoulder pods with the ability to be built around various weapon systems into a variety of configurations along with full compatibility with Ashigaru Weapon Systems and Origin Industries Starfighter accessories. These variable gunpods ability to combine a staggering amount of weapon systems into a singular weapon package paired with the Cordoba's immensely strong arms makes for a deadly multirole mecha. * Pistol Gunpod: Lightweight weapon pod that excels in fast paced, close quarters engagements. These small gunpods allow for quick and precise weapon handling. * Rifle Gunpod: The addition of a stock and arm clamp along with the ability to be used one or two handed grant this platform excellent midrange performance and additional pod space for mixing weapon systems. * Heavy Gunpod: Bazooka styled weapon pod that sporting support immense weight and possess shock absorbing components for superior recoil control at the cost of the quick handling needed for close range combat. If a gunpod is loaded too heavily it will overtax the power system and overburden the arms causing the mecha to slow down greatly and miss shots more frequently. A lightly loaded gunpod will allow for greater agility and more power availability for shields and propulsion systems.6)
Click to expand...


Headings and bullet lists should be separated by text. You have several instances of this, here is one example:

You have:

Weapon Mechanisms​

* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.

Try

Weapon Mechanisms​

The weapon mechanisms are as follows:

* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.

The ammo can be combined onto one ammo page, but it must fit the template.

The shield-bypassing weapon is not permitted, even if it was previously approved. Weapons that tunnel/bypass shielding like that were removed from the setting a few years ago. The weapon's description should be changed accordingly. Something like this would be really effective once a target's shields are down already.


Almost there! Keep up the good work, this is almost ready for approval.​


​

 
Andrew said:
A few things in your main article,

The very top of the article should be a one or two-sentence explanation of exactly what it is. Then maybe find a way to combine that big long paragraph at the top into your "About" section. Maybe put the image down under "Appearance".

ie.

======Cordoba Combat Mecha======
The Cordoba Combat Mecha is a combat mech introduced by the [[corp:fscorp:fms]] in [[timeline:ye_45]].
=====History=====


For determining the proper international nomenclature for this, I'd need to know - How many mecha has the company produced prior to this one?


The Wikipedia links to the actual Wikipedia, should be formatted like this, here is one example you have several- [[wp>Pyrotechnic_fastener|explosive bolts]]


Tier 10, is the maximum DR I am willing to accept on the Recoiless Graviton Howitzer.

There appears to be a formatting problem in this paragraph:




Headings and bullet lists should be separated by text. You have several instances of this, here is one example:

You have:

Weapon Mechanisms​

* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.

Try

Weapon Mechanisms​

The weapon mechanisms are as follows:

* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.

The ammo can be combined onto one ammo page, but it must fit the template.

The shield-bypassing weapon is not permitted, even if it was previously approved. Weapons that tunnel/bypass shielding like that were removed from the setting a few years ago. The weapon's description should be changed accordingly. Something like this would be really effective once a target's shields are down already.


Almost there! Keep up the good work, this is almost ready for approval.​


​

Click to expand...
Hi Rizzo,

Thank you for making the revisions and addressing the points raised. Here are some additional suggestions for improvement:

1. I'm glad you added the OOC Notes section, but I would recommend moving the credit for the AI art to that section as well. That way, all the out-of-character notes and information are consolidated in one place.

2. The nomenclature looks much better now, using the designation "YM2" to denote a product for sale to civilians. Just make sure to update the "YM2" designation wherever it is referenced throughout the article.

3. Regarding the Recoilless Graviton Howitzer, Tier 10 is the maximum Damage Rating (DR) I'm willing to accept for a Tier 8 mecha. However, the article states that the weapon tops out at Tier 11. Please adjust the maximum tier of the weapon to be in line with the limitations of the platform.

4. In the paragraph about the Cordoba's flexibility with weapon systems, there are a few formatting issues and missing links. Here's a revised version for clarity:

"Returning to FMS's tried and true design method, the Cordoba features a universal hand system that can automatically adjust to nearly any mecha-scaled handheld weapon system, including the entire lineup of Origin Industries frame accessories. This highly flexible system comes at the cost of usable forearm hardpoints. To maintain unrivaled multirole flexibility and utilize weapons developed for the Wahoo Interceptor, FMS developed a series of gunpods and shoulder pods capable of integrating various weapon systems into different configurations. These gunpods are also fully compatible with Ashigaru Weapon Systems and Origin Industries Starfighter accessories. The Cordoba's immensely strong arms, combined with the variable gunpods, make it a deadly multirole mecha."

5. Make sure to separate headings and bullet lists with text, as mentioned in my previous message.

6. While you can combine the ammo types onto a single ammo page, each type should still have its own section or subsection within the page to maintain clarity and organization. Please ensure that the combined page still follows the ammo template.

7. Regarding the shield-bypassing weapon, as you mentioned it was previously approved. However, if it is no longer permitted in the setting, please revise the description accordingly. You can explain that it would be effective once a target's shields are down, but not in bypassing or tunneling through shields.

Once you make these revisions, it should be ready for final approval. Keep up the good work, and let me know if you have any further questions or concerns.
 
The very top of the article should be a one or two-sentence explanation of exactly what it is. Then maybe find a way to combine that big long paragraph at the top into your "About" section. Maybe put the image down under "Appearance".

ie.

======Cordoba Combat Mecha======
The Cordoba Combat Mecha is a combat mech introduced by the [[corp:fscorp:fms]] in [[timeline:ye_45]].
=====History=====
Click to expand...

Can you please fix the top of the article? That top space should be very concise. ie. what I put above, the rest of the info you present here can be in your About Section.

Please also move the image of the mech out of that top area of the article, and move it down into the Appearance Section or something.


Other than those two things, it is ready to go...
 
Approved.
 

Please fill out struct on the pages accordingly.​

 
When you go edit the pages now, at the bottom you will see this, you have to fill it out. On each page.

1696557072865.webp
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top