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Approved Character Aishou, Kiten

Please fix the red links and clean it up a little.
 
Proof-reading and formatting.
 
Formatting is the Auto-wiki format. I just plugged it in, and then copy-pasta'd. I'll run through the grammar and spelling again though.

edit: Grammar and spelling re-checked w/Word.
 
Reading through this, I see you've noted his Father was Yamataian, Do you mean that by native to Yamatai, or by having a Yamataian body, if it is the latter, then that would be impossible, as the Yamataian body style has not been out for anywhere near 17 years.

Other than that it seems fine. I like his chivalrous personality...
 
Native to Yamatai, transfered to Yamataian when they came out. That was where the argument between his parents came up, in that his father was the only one at first.
 
You don't have to pay for the body transfer to Yamataian; it was done free. ... Kinda puts a hole in the backstory.
 
Only two issues, at this point:

-His father was a Yamataian? Considering the body itself is very recent, and your character would have been born in YE 13, that seems rather odd.

-The fighting skill is a smidgeon high. I'll let it pass because it's his 'specialist' skill, and because he doesn't know how to fire a gun well (or so it seems).
 
His father changed the second it was available, but the rest of his family did not. We shall say that his mother was a 'purist' for the sake of the argument, and that she believed that to transfer was to 'forsake your soul'. That explanation enough, or do you need more?

That's correct. He has no skill whatsoever in guns and ranged stuff, unless you count throwing knives. He knows to point and fire, and that's about it.
 
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