Approved Submission Akemi's Umbrella, Gazelle, Kawaii Cafe, Fashion Line

[Ametheliana]

Submission Type: Business
Template Used: Business
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:akemis_umbrella
Submission Destination URL: TBA

Faction: Independent
FM Approved Yet? @Wes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:akemis_umbrella:akemis_fashion
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:akemis_umbrella:akemis_kawaii_cafe
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:akemis_umbrella:akemis_gazelle
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: @Arbitrated @META_mahn

 

[Wes]

FM Approved.

 

[Ametheliana]

@Arbitrated @META_mahn @club24 @Ethereal can you look?

 

[Arbitrated]

I might take thissun later this week but if one of you guys wants to nab it before me go ahead!

 

[club24]

Not sure why i got tagged o.o i can give any pointers i see but I'm not a setting mod...

 

[Ametheliana]

Pointers are great! I'd like this looked at sooner rather than later so maybe @META_mahn can?

 

[club24]

Well after taking a quick look nothing seems really out of place to me, my personal view is that many of the sections in the articles could be expanded to provide more details but i guess i like to write lots, and the only outstanding thing i noticed was in the umbrella page the more about section seems to use some bombastic? Language to describe Akemi but doesn't say much else about the conglomerate itself other than he owns and runs it?

Anyway thats just what i picked up on it so :/

 

[Ametheliana]

Thanks club!!

 

[Ametheliana]

Okay, I added to More About.

 

[club24]

well I got no other blaring lights when I read this so now you'll have to wait for the proper authorities ^^

 

[Ametheliana]

@Arbitrated and @META_mahn how goes this?

 

[Ametheliana]

Approved