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Approved Character Aki'shma Tinker Occhesta

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Oyster X

Inactive Member
Name: Aki'shma Tinker Occhesta


General Information

Species: Lorath
Gender: Male
Age: 39

Family / Creators: Uncle: Le'Hubeck Healer Occhesta

Employer: LSDF
Occupation: Special weapons design
Rank: Scientist
Current Assignment: Ordered aboard the Zahl Cruiser


Physical Characteristics

Height: 5'3
Weight: 98lbs

Build and Skin Color: Toned body not overly muscular, built more like a swimmer than a weightlifter. He has a tanned skin color but threatens to change it daily.
Facial Features and Eye Color: Kind face smiles a lot for no reason, but if you can look past the happiness you will see a deep sorrow hidden in his eyes. His left eye is grey and his right is yellow.
Hair Color and Style: A light bright teal, the style is a short messy un-kept look.

Distinguishing Features: His arms are badly scarred from burns, when a bomb he was working on went off. Typically wears a pair of goggles around his neck or on his forehead (just incase he needs to do some welding).


Psychological Characteristics

Personality:
Tinker is hyperactive, with an overly creative mind (some would call him childish). He has a positive attitude and hates to be made fun of. Though he does have a problem with being respectful towards authority. Deep down inside he hurts, because of his parents abandoning him, so he acts crazy and try's to get everyone's attention to make sure he's not forgotten again.

Likes: Tinkering, cooking, and making people laugh.
Dislikes: Pointless killing, not being able to fly, and most of all being ignored.
Goals: To find his parents...


History

Tinker never knew his parents, his whole life he can only remember living with his uncle. He was told that when he was an infant, his parents could not provide for him, so his uncle took him in as if he were a son. His uncle sent him to the best private schools for his basic learning, which he passed through quickly. At the age of eleven he entered the house schooling, where he excelled at Psychology and Engineering. After graduating he started to tinker with every machine he came in contact with, he even one time out of boredom, dissembled his uncle's car and reassembled it in the kitchen (it ran even better afterwards.) His life changed one night when he was working on a bomb and it went off, nearly killing him. His workshop, in their garage, collapsed on top of him leaving him trapped on the brink of death, his arms where left badly scarred. After Tinker recovered he thought it was time he did something with his life and joined the army.


Skills

Knowledge: Tinker passing through his schooling fast, leaving him always hungry for knowledge. He also has a "semi-functionalâ€
 
Looks cool to me. I'm curious as to what the Lorath dudes will think.
 
Do you mean impute? Or input?

And are his arms truly terrified?

That aside - that's a lot of distinctive features.

His personality seems to be alright, but his goal seems ... weird. And possibly not realistic.

His being an effective orphan is a little cliche, however your history is interesting enough to offset this. Maternal or Paternal uncle?

Do the Lorath have an 'A+' in their education system? Not to mention he can't really have gone around the universe so some of that skill doesn't make much sense.

Also Kane? Little cliche on the name.
 
Hmm, pretty nice work, just a few small issues, nothing too big.

First off, we've been needing to change that bit on the CCG in regards to caste names. Ultrhan should be Occhesta.

Another name issue is that the monicker "Tinkerer" should come after Aki'sh'ma, the rest is just fine though. (Don't worry, a lot of people make that kinda error.)

Unfortunately, your skill discription for "Physical" is some what off, this is due to the Lorath only recently coming in contact with Yamatai and Yamataian technology, thus, it would have unfortunately been impossible for your character to have become physicaly fit in such a manner. (Nice work though, unfortunately plot does not support it.)

Also, the skillsets for a psionics type are there for the most part, except for the communications and technology operations... I may let it slide though, but I'll have to talk with the other Lorath founder about it.

But a personal observation, considering how much this guy likes bombs, and the fact that he seems a bit inclined to be of more of a physical guy in nature, it could be wise to place him in the warrior caste, where his bomb making and planting expertise may be put into better use. Still, he'd have a good place in the psionics caste... he just may have a place as an ordinance operations expert... we'll have to see.
 
DocTomoe said:
Also, the skillsets for a psionics type are there for the most part, except for the communications and technology operations... I may let it slide though, but I'll have to talk with the other Lorath founder about it.
Click to expand...
Okay, I thought that this might be an issue. I wasn't sure if he would be allowed to have a few more destructive skills or whether you would want me to change that. I thought because the psionics where the producers for technology, the bomb "makingâ€
 
Hi there! I'm the other Lorath founder! Some problems with the profile, but nothing that can't be fixed!

First off is the age. In essence, your calling him a..well around fifteen or sixteen, which is pretty young to be out of school. If you want him to be 21, then the age should be around 42. Lorath age slower then normal, so a 42 year old Lorath would be 21 by most standards.

Well..really thats all I see o.o; If he's in the army he would be employed by the LSDF or the Lorath Self Defense Force. His occupation could be Demolitions, or more to the point Ordinance specialist or something along those lines. Don't really have ranks to my knowledge, and his current assignment would be aboard the Zahl Cruiser.

A last point would be the name. It should read Aki'Sh'Ma Tinkerer Occhesta

If you have any questions on the culture ever, please just contact myself or Tomoe.
 
I believe I have finally edited Jatin to death. I get the feeling he's nearing completion, but it seems the closer I've gotten the more flaws I see :(
Oh well I'm just happy he didn't get to flamed (maybe a little warm on the edges), what doesn't kill all you self-esteem, makes ya stronger, right?? ;)
 
Lol trust me no flaming! We need all the Lorath characters we can get heh. The character is pretty good over all, just some little kinks here and there which you mostly have.

Like I said, if you need to ask questions about the Lorath Culture just message me on YIM, my screen name is Harrikke.

EDIT: So far everything looks in good order, APPROVED!

*stamps forehead with approved stamp and nods*
 
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