Approved Character Aoto Sukai

UOPCPF (that a mouth full) Enlisted

Aoto Sukai

Anything else I need to post?

Hello Again Skyler,

I added the normal top header to the character.

Not bad for a first try, here are some items that need to be addressed.

What species is he? Nepleslian, Jiyuuian, Geshrin?

What are the names of his Grandparents? What planet did he live on? You say he enjoys playing the harp. Could you put something in his history that explains how he came to play the instrument?

You need to add the standard UOC issue to the character.

Starting cash is wrong, it should be 2000 HS which is the currency of the UOC.

You also need to work on some of the grammar, (Example)
He heavily believing in group work over individualism.
Suggested changes
He strongly believes in group work over individualism.

This character is still pending approval.

May I have a English speaker to assist me with correction? To be honest it will probably not improved if left to me alone.

I'll fix everything else right away.

Fix the technical aspects, and I will take care of the grammar for you Skyler.

Seriously? Thank you so much Nashoba! I believe I fix all the technical aspects so yeah. Sorry about the short harp introduction. I mean honestly there no real motive why he plays it. Just something he pick up and enjoyed.

Okay Skyler, I fixed the grammar issues.

No problem with the harp, its just the norm to mention how a character got involved with a hobby, or why they like it.

Okay,
You are ready for the next stage.

You need to created your user page. Just click the red link in your character and then click the Create this page.

After that you need to apply for orders here.

UOCPF REQUESTS FOR ORDERS.

This character is approved for IC usage.