First line in build needs to be removed. That's an opinion.
You need to come up with something new for a distinguishing characteristics. That not only needs to be physical, but it can't be opinion like that. IF that comes out in roleplay, then fine, but it hasn't.
I don't like the Crime Lord as a father. Being involved in a criminal organization, fine, but it just seems like you're trying to set him up for free gains in the future. And even if you do keep the father, remove "Crime lord" from his point in family. It doesn't belong there, it belongs in history if at all.
In communications you need to replace Nepleslian with Trade, which is it's actual name.
In technology, tone it down. There's no way he would be that capable when members of the military aren't that proficient in their own systems, especially since there's nothing in the history that says he's ever been to Yamatai, let alone for long enough to become proficient in systems that are seldom if ever used in Nep territory. Also, even if you keep it, it's Yamataian, not Yamatai when you're describing things from YSA.
In leadership, put the "Even more so" at the beginning of that sentence, not the end. I'd also like to point out (though I'll give Scot final say) that Leadership is a restricted skill. We very seldom let new players have it. You also need to take out the part about "In more cases than not, he usually isn't." Again, that's something that will come out from roleplay. More to the point, it wouldn't go there in any case, because Leadership doesn't apply to actually having control of a situation, only to how things are perceived.
I'm also going to veto you on the weapons. While you are allowed to have a few smaller ones, due to the plot you want to enter, I'm not going to let you add in a 16600 KS rifle for free, especially not when you're also adding in a full set of Durandium body armor. Also, did you read the article for the gauss rifle? It's not meant for use by infantry anyway, only for use in Origin's
Impulse Armor. ID-SOL are stronger than normal, but not to the point of being able to use PA weapons with ease, especially a PA weapon with "Very high" recoil.
This character is pending changes.