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Black Spiral Warrior Dress

Does the Star Army really need yet another uniform? I'm trying to move in the direction of standardization; this goes against that.

Convince me.
 
1. I already have the art.

2. Black Spiral is not traditional Star Army. It's a division of SAINT that was a breakaway and later was reabsorbed. It has a history separate from the Empire and needs that are not typical of the Star Army.

3. The entry makes clear that the standards of the Star Army's uniform are not combat-oriented. This outfit is combat-oriented, and is more capable than the Star Army uniform.

4. It's Black Spiral only. SAINT doesn't get these, and they're not Star Army-issue, so you don't have to worry about characters using them unless they somehow join Black Spiral. If they do, they still can use the SAINT uniforms, unless they are part of a fireteam (and not just a Black Spiral agent).
 
Also: I request a formal approval checklist be added to this submission's review, in order to refine it and ensure its approval is above-board.
 
This review is for: Black Spiral Warrior Dress

The submitted article is/has…
[x] A very high level of overall quality
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG)
[-] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[x] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[X] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[x] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[x] Obtusely redundant
[x] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[x] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[x] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[x] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[x] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[x] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[-] Lacking Detail
[x] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[na ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[-] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[x] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[x] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Short description of the issue. If a longer explanation is needed, put it in Notes.

[-] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines - Not listed
[-] Lacking Detail - what powers the AIES? It seems given what you are using it for, that an AIES is a bit overpowered for a suit of clothing. Additionally, what powers the cloth of the uniform?

I would like to see more details about the camouflage fabric being used, basic how it works, how fine is the ability to change color? Pattern?

[-] Needed and/or useful to the setting - why exactly is this needed? we have a field uniform,

Status: Pending

Notes
This field is for any extra description needed for the issues stated above or (as the name suggests) and additional notes you wish to state in the record regarding the item.

I intend to finish this review by: 3/8/2012
 
All prior articles for Yarvex clothing have been rejected because it's a starship armor (eg the old Yarvex panties submission).
 
That works for me.
 
I'm just curious why it is using materials produced exclusively by organizations outside of Yamatai? Seems to be a logistics nightmare.
 
Yamatai lacks domestic soldier-level protective materials, leaving them to use only foreign-made materials. While it might be considered a logistical nightmare for all of Yamatai's troops, Black Spiral is not a large organization and can afford to use foreign materials in order to offer the best protection.

The closest thing Yamatai actually talks about when it comes to a protective material is, well, Yarvex.

Though that was not a driving factor in my creating a Black Spiral outfit, the lack of domestic materials does point to exactly what kind of materials go into the Type 31 Field Uniform.
 
Don't know, this is what I used for my SSS uniform ages ago.

The Tanken uniform is made of special fabric, which is composed of three layers.

Inner layer - a soft fabric with moisture wicking properties
Middle layer - woven fabric made of para-aramid synthetic fiber, which provide durability and protection from sharp objects
Outer layer - moisture resistant fabric


But the composition isn't the real issue, see the items I listed above in the review.
 
The Tanken uniform uses generic descriptors. I wanted specifics, so my players knew exactly what they had.

I'll add DR, explain the power supply to the AIES and explain the fabric more. When those are added, I'll bump.

As for need:

We need this because Black Spiral needs to stand apart from the Star Army not just in a textual way, but in a visual way. People need to know, the moment they see this uniform, that Black Spiral's not your typical Star Army personnel in a jumpsuit-like uniform or a skirt.

They are elite. They are special. They are not to be trifled with because holy cow do they look serious. This is the difference between seeing a typical soldier, and, say a Navy SEAL in "storm-the-beaches" attire.

That is necessary not just for my plot, but for Black Spiral's future, if it is to remain as an elite division of SAINT. Which it will.

This uniform is something neither the Star Army or SAINT has. It's meant for combat. It's meant to protect operatives who are doing jobs way outside typical Star Army duties — even ground troops. The ability of this uniform are designed to give the player character a level of protection and capability the Field Uniform does not.

Last, but in a way most importantly, I already have the art.
 
I ditched the "fabric" idea for Yamatai's tried-and-true camo system, with some explanation from another product I made a while back, and borrowed the Daisy's capacitor system to explain how the AIES is powered. I also explained the interaction a bit more between AIES and user — i.e. "telepathy."

DR also added.
 
I think this ready for approval now. I would prefer you add the art.

FM APPROVED
 
It will be added soon enough. No offense, but I want the "reveal" factor for my players and the readers, instead of spoiling it on the wiki.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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