RP: 188604 Booze, Battle, Brothers and Begging

>ON 188604
Pumpkin Eater

Aashi and Alex had been trying, to the best of their abilities, to delve into his recollections and understand more of his shrouded past.

At once, Aashi said, "This is getting tiresome," and asked of Alex, "Would you mind going to find Akemi for me, Alex? He would probably be somewhere in Osman City like Cockpit, if not on the Queen's Slave. I need to get my ability back before I can go on and I know he..." she paused, wondering about the Neko's gender for what seemed to be the unth time since she'd met them, "can help. Would you care to do so?" she ended the question with a questioning lilt as she sat back down.

Alex felt partially responsible for the state Aashi was in. He had been deep in his memories, requiring Aashi to bring him out, at great cost to herself. Determined to do whatever he could to help, Alex nodded.

"I'd be happy to help out" Alex said, wondering how he would ever be able to atone for what he had caused.

Navigating his way through the maze of bulkheads and corridors, Alex soon emerged into the bright sunlight and began his trek towards Osman city.

Even depopulated, Osman City (or whatever it was being called this week) was still a huge settlement. With a population in the millions, and hugging a mountain range: Somewhere in the city was rather non-specific. He'd likely either need to ask around, or actually call Akemi somehow to find the help Aashi so sorely needed.

Having reached the city limits, Alex thought that it would be prudent to begin asking around as to the whereabouts of this 'Akemi'.

Approaching one of the many people passing by and inquired, "Excuse me, do you know of anyone by the name of Akemi"

The one in question being asked, a young woman with a heavy sunburn and wearing algae-stained waders just looked Alex up and down, then sniggered. "Akemi's Cockpit is by the Royal University. Just head towards the shoreline, then head north past the Hospital. You can't miss the gardens."

At that, the woman bundled up the package full of eels she carried and walked along the street, half laughing to herself.

Trudging through the city streets, Alex would eventually work out why she reacted that way. Following those directions, he'd be able to navigate the rest of the way from a few people carrying signboards advertising a venue offering 'wine, women and song'. Probably euphemistic. Maybe not, though. Alex would eventually wind up in the stately old university district of the city, full of squat buildings of detailed bloodwood architecture. The one with the gardens, full of beautifully tended bright blue flowers was designated as being 'Akemi's Cockpit' by a new brightly painted sign hanging out front, like a saloon from a Nepleslian western film.

Inside, the place was dimly lit by the afternoon sun filtering in the windows. A small crowd built up for the afternoon saber matches, around the central dirt ring of the tavern. Two women squared off in the ring, clutching already bloodied swords. Their shirts torn and bloodied already as they slowly circled one another. Of the two, the taller blonde woman who seemed to already be missing a finger from the match darted on the offensive, causing the shorter woman with shaggy black hair to parry and spin to the side, driving a fist roughly into her opponent's ribs.

The crowd went wild as the blonde then staggered a few feet, straightened her back and returned to pushing the offensive. A flurry of blows, and lightning speed parries before a spatter of blood sprayed the dirt floor of the arena. The blonde getting a good slice across the neck of the black haired woman. The referee calling "Taline gets one strike on Olena! Proceed to next round!"

...But it wasn't over. As blood poured from the one named Olena's neck, she strode over to the edge of the ring like the slice to her throat was a bee sting. Sitting on a stool, she accepted a shot glass full of brandy from another girl who looked to be thirteen years old at most, and tilted her head to get the wound roughly stitched up by the same 13 year old before standing and walking straight back into the fray.

Walking over to watch the action, Alex was intrigued by the masterful way the combatants wielded their weapons. He was so absorbed by the fight that he didn't notice the elfin eared man in Olena's corner waving to him. The Neko wore a fancy, baggy, white dress shirt fit for a movie swashbuckler with its drawstrings relaxed and undone to the point that his chest was exposed from top to bottom. His legs sported a pair of tight brown breeches that ended slightly below the knee to show off his perfect long white socks and spiffy, shiny, dark brown shoes. "Hey there space person, why don't you come on over here?" he sent electronically with his digital brain attempting to see if Alex had Mindware.

A few days ago, Alex would have been surprised by text popping up in his face. As it was, he had seen so many crazy things lately that he was just nonplussed.

Walking over to the man who seemed to have sent the message, Alex shot back a quick reply, Who are you? How did you know that I have mindware?

Akemi only smiled at the questions. "I didn't. I just figured I'd try seeing if you did. I'm Koga Akemi. A business partner of Uso's." He always felt compelled to point out he was a partner after what Penelope said. He didn't want to be stuck with anyone thinking he was a mere lackey. When Alex drew nearer he started speaking verbally. "I became the owner of this wonderful place only a few days ago. Like what you see?"

Looking around at his surroundings, Alex wasn't sure what it was he was looking at. It seemed to be some sort of bar or restaurant with the sword fighting as some sort of outdoor entertainment.

"The only thing that really catches my eye is that fight over there. The way they move is incredible" Alex said to the man, forgetting for the moment what he had been sent to do.

"Well that's no surprise," Akemi replied smoothly. "The one that just got stitched up over here is the current bare-knuckle champion and title holder of the Women's Saber, Olena Sands." as he spoke he turned to briefly catch more of the fight. "She's one of my buds, as is this immaculate paragon of poise over here." The little Neko casually brought a palm to shoulder level to direct the newcomer's attention to the man standing at his side.

Compared to Akemi, his companion was a good deal taller, although was no less dazzling in terms of sheer beauty. Tall, elegant and poised, with long brown hair tied back loosely with a ribbon, he had a slim physique and easy demeanour. He looked more like a romantic poet than anything else, dressed in tall cavalier boots and tight breeches, an elegant silk waistcoat and perfectly pressed shirt with starched collar. One or two drops of blood had seeped into his outfit, betraying that he had some part in the blood sport going on nearby. A fine steel rapier was slung at his hip, seemingly an accessory appropriate for duelling day.

He seemed amused that that was all Alex was interested in.

"Olena does cut a dashing figure, and her skills are quite incredible." Smithee remarked, looking over to the ring as Olena neatly caught her opponent's saber on her forearm. Offering up her own limb as a shield before thrusting her sword cleanly through her challenger's thigh, the blade penetrating straight down to the guard. The referee announcing her win as screams of betters matched the screams of her opponent and blood pooled in sand.

"Although I'm sure we can yet find something else to interest a strapping young man such as yourself. It is, after all unbecoming for a gentleman to focus so solely upon bloodshed between women."

Unsure of what that last statement had meant, Alex was enthralled by the efficient yet elegant movements of the fighters. Remembering back to his awakening on the Necromancer, he thought that it might be a useful skill to learn. At this point Alex had actually completely forgotten why he had been sent in the first place.

"Would there by any chance be somewhere that I could learn to use that kind of weapon?" Alex asked.

"Well you could surely find someone to teach you here if you've got the money." The little Neko momentarily looked to his buddy again approvingly. He was awful glad to have met someone so grand so soon. "Smithee 's a knight. Perhaps he could instruct you for a price. Maybe he could even take you on as a squire. I myself would love to get some lessons in lordliness from him so I can fit in with the aristocracy."

Smithee smiled an easy smile, watching as Olena staggered from the ring over to the bar and retrieved a large liquor bottle. Unstoppering it with her teeth and staggering over to a booth at the side of the tavern's interior. Collapsing onto the long bench and just lying there to bleed and drink.

"Well, I was tutored in the sword by The Great Moncharles, swordmaster to the Osman royal family. And in etiquette by the fine Lady Talreese, Mistress of the arts of court. I could teach you, certainly." He boasted a boast so obscure in its references that it was practically useless to the space men around him. "Of course, my time may be strained some days."

Seeing his favourite duelist finally at rest Akemi looked at the young girl that had been tending to her and poked her lightly on the shoulder with his gravity control to get her attention. He tossed her a can of hemosynth specially modulated for his mate that had been fastened to his belt and used his hands to explain that he wanted the lass to spray her wounds with it.

The young Back Alley surgeon snatched the can out of the air, then tapped it with a fingertip. A few moments of experimentation and she found the spray nozzle and gave it an experimental spritz. On mastery of the spray can, she limped over to Olena and painstakingly got her to sit up on the table, applying the spray before slicing the stitches and pulling out the threads. Of course, this being an Akemi's meant that there wasn't much shyness in terms of dealing with the cuts and wounds on Olena's torso. The shirt was lost, leaving Olena sitting cross legged on a tabletop, topless and with a back to the bar as her surgeon went about handling wounds on her back and ribs.

Akemi naturally gave Olena's figure a good gander, hardly minding the slash marks. It was only polite. What really captured his attention though was the unnatural gait of the little lady treating her. He'd definitely need to fix that. What a poor creature.

Unsure of who the man was talking about, Alex acted impressed, thinking it would be the more polite thing to do in that situation.

"That's fine with me. I'm grateful that you are able to spare some time for me."

"Well before you commit to anything I sure think we should at least get his name and find out who he's working for," Akemi pointed out. "It seems to me like you'll need to start from the ground up with him when it comes to manners." His obviously comically dramatic tone made it clear the Neko likely didn't care that they weren't given a proper introduction. In truth a good portion of his motivation to speak as he did was a desire to suggest Smithee work on Alex starting at his bottom.

Realizing that he had been slightly rude, Alex introduced himself.

"My name is Alex, a pleasure to meet you."

Smithee gave a little, easy smile, shaking his head at the easiness of these Starmen.

"I should really just start drilling you both." He said, stepping up to Alex. Stepping around him slightly with clearly practiced footwork and placing one hand on the young pilot's chin, and the other on his back between the shoulder blades. A quick shove of both hands causing Alex to be forced to stand bolt upright. Despite Smithee's long slim fingers, he seemed to have more than a little strength in them. "Ninety percent of courtly manner is in posture. Physical and mental. One should always stand with their back straight and chin held up. You are wonderful young man, be proud of that."

"The appropriate posture is one where you should envision a string pulling you from the top of your head, causing everything else to be straightened by gravity. Second, mental posture: You should always introduce yourself well. Give your full name, and title. Finish with your address. If you have no title, you introduce yourself as being in service of your Master or Mistress in question, and give their address." Ensuring Alex stood lightly, and at his full extension; Smithee moved before them both, giving a slight bow with a flourish of his hand.

"I am Sir Tabernacle Smithee, Knighted by the late Osman Queen into the Order of Her Majesty's Garter. Presently of the Royal University." He said demonstrably, "And you would introduce yourself. Full name, in service of your Master or Mistress whoever, likely giving your address as 'Of the Imperial Berth'. The most desired address to have currently."

Akemi immediately smiled childishly at the use of the word drilling involving he and his fellow Starman. He wished to ask some things but he figured he'd wait to see if Alex would reintroduce himself following Smithee's example. He still hadn't said if he was working with Uso or not after all.

Following the instructions, Alex stood up straight.

"I am Alex..."

Pausing after realising that he had no idea what his surname was, Alex began to waffle.

"Well, uh.. The thing is, I don't really remember what my last name was." Eager to move away from that section of the introduction, Alex continued. "I am in service of Uso Tasuki, Of the Imperial Berth."

"In the event of a loss of name through familial degradation, you may substitute your family name with an 'of'. Alex of Osman, Alex of Ragnacity, I guess Alex of 188604 as I'm given to understand this planet's name..." Smithee explained and didn't explain about half the explanation, "Alternately if you can get people to start calling you Alex-the-something, that too is acceptable."

Akemi loved what he was hearing. He'd really dig being known as something like Akemi the Bold. "Well now you can pick a cool last name. I'm glad I now know my buddy won't be giving lessons to just any random space person."

The Neko took another look at Olena and her healer then focused on Smithee. "Anyway, I'd love a good thorough drilling. You're already being a big help since I got a lot of grief over a poor introduction earlier. I've just got one thing on my mind I want to deal with so I can approach learning with maximum enthusiasm. Could you call the girl treating Olena over?"

Smithee looked from Akemi over to where Olena was getting a spray paint job she'd never forget, curled his lip slightly and gave a piercing whistle that would probably call a well bred hunting dog from several hundred yards away. "Rennie, our patron would like a word!"

At the whistle, the girl operating the spray nozzle turned and looked over her shoulder, before limping away from Olena and stepping up. She looked pretty typical for a native of the planet. Scrawny both due to her age and malnutrition through her whole life. Rail thin, wearing a yellowish dress spattered with bloodstains over striped stockings, topped with a leather vest with pouches over it containing everything from scalpels and needles, to straight razors and scissors. Her hair was a brassy blonde, and well kept. Seemed her working here also kept her out of the sun, as she lacked the usual tan of the locals. Almost deathly pale.

"Whazzit?" She asked, looking to Akemi.

Akemi flinched a little at the shrill sound, narrowing his eyes and cocking his head back slightly. "Yeesh. Man, she's a little baby just like you. Don't be so harsh." When the girl came he continued to study her beyond the limp. "What makes you walk the way you do?"

Smithee gave a little shrug. He didn't particularly mean to be so harsh, it was more that he was used to having to get attention accross a crowded bar. Rennie the surgeon on the other hand just looked to the man in charge like this was all relatively normal. Recieving a nod of assurance before looking to Akemi and giving an answer.

"Carriage accident when I was six. Ran over m'leg." She slapped her left thigh for emphasis.

Akemi instantly jumped for joy at Rennie's answer. It was extremely clear to her by the light in his eyes and the growing smile on his face she had made the man's day. Without warning he lunged to throw his arms around her and raise her off the ground with a hug. "You perfect little angel! I'm gonna make everything fantastic for you, starting with fixing your leg! She said m'leg!" As he held her he gently swayed his chest from side to side. He had suddenly found himself in accent heaven.

As Rennie was lifted off her feet, she looked over Akemi's shoulder to Smithee and simply asked "Touchin' rule apply to this sumbitch, boss?"

In turn, Smithee placed his hand on the same shoulder Rennie looked over, "My dear, there's no touching allowed in this establishment without a lady's permission... I will allow it this once, as you were likely not aware. Our benefactor and landlord or no, honor does demand that I defend the lady's person... Consider it a general lesson in knightly behavior for both of you. Defend the destitute and helpless."

The Neko quickly and carefully set Rennie back on her feet. "I like the attitude, but gosh you two, it was just a hug. I'd never hurt someone as sweet looking as you. I simply wanted to let you know from this day forward you're going to be one of my lucky little babies like Olena and Smithee." Akemi was somewhat surprised Smithee took things so seriously. He was also a little offended. Where was the trust? He could understand the girl being bothered but he wished his buddy would have more faith in him. He supposed the man might still take being a knight seriously and figured there could have been a lot of cases of abuse he had to deal with in his line of business. Maybe the girl had been mistreated plenty in the past before she had even ended up here.

"I does shaves, 'aircuts, stitches an' set bones." Rennie said, straightening her dress and fixing her hair, "I don't does hugs."

"I've got a giant insect buddy that'd be horrified to hear that. He gives tremendously good hugs. I have to introduce the two of you." Akemi definitely needed to see how she'd react to Sammy's super cuddly body and ever pleasant demeanor and how much he enjoyed being pet everywhere. Hopefully she'd at least appreciate a rubbing from his feelers. "Any chance I could adopt you right on the spot so I could get a consensual hug?"

"'Lena's still bleedin' and ev'ry one who got adopted by you skyfolk's disappear." Rennie said, turning and limping back to the boxer, "No chance."

Akemi turned to his business partner for a moment. "Can we take ourselves over there?" he asked looking off to where Rennie went. "I just want to be in earshot of any wisdom you impart on Alex while I talk to her." Without waiting for an answer the little Starman went on after her. "Hey Olena, can you tell this girl I'm not a monster? I need a character reference for adoption." He knew all of this could wait but he loved the idea of springing something so random on Olena in her wounded, weary state for a little potential amusement.

Having only just met Akemi, Alex was unsure of whether or not this was common behaviour.

Looking to Smithee, Alex voiced his inquiry. "Is this normal for him?"

"About normal, I'm afraid." Smithee said, taking a few steps across the room to stand near the recovering Olena. "I fear this is why he will never make a splash at court..."

Olena on the other hand pulled her still bloody and ragged shirt over her head, turning in place to blearily look at the gathering crowd. Looking from Akemi, to Rennie, to Smithee, then to Alex; she took another swig from her bottle, and reached out to pull Rennie closer to her. One arm swinging around the young surgeon's shoulder, Olena planted a peck of a kiss on the top of the girl's head. Rennie didn't seem to mind it as much as she did when Akemi did similar.

"Gitch yer own daughter... She's miiine..." Olena slurred. Clearly liquor fuelled duelling wasn't the best hit to one's sobriety.

"What about you?" Akemi asked setting his gaze back on the noble. "You feel I'm trustworthy enough don't you?"

"My dear starman, I'd trust you as much as I'd trust myself or anyone else in this profession to raise a child." Smithee said, leaning against the seat of the booth and placing his hand on Olena's head, ruffling his fingers through her shaggy mop of hair. "Which is to say that you'd probably try in all earnesty but wind up with a neurotic for a child, and grow despondent for all your efforts to maintain good relations in the face of adversity. It's unsurprising how it goes... We're in the business of corrupting the young, after all."

It actually sounded more like he was speaking from personal experience than much else...

"I'd just focus on more practical matters rather than taking very big steps in life on a whim..." Smithee said, moving away from Olena and her 'daughter'. Walking over to the ring and scooping up the drunk titleholder's duelling saber. A few more steps and he held it by the flat of the blade, offering it to Alex... At least for a loan, probably. "As for you, Young Squire. Show us your moves."

Accepting the weapon with a nod of thanks, Alex took up a stance. Standing with his back straight, Alex held the sword in such a way that he would be able to respond quickly to an attack.

Smithee took a few steps and stood in front of, and somewhat to the side of Alex. He didn't adopt a stance, or draw his own weapon, instead he just placed his hands on his hips and looked at Alex with a loose smile on his face.

"Well I did intend for you to just show me anything you might know. Did you wish for this to be a live blade exercise right from the beginning?"

Feeling slightly embarassed, Alex shook his head sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know anything, so I thought that it would be better to defend. As for your question, is there another option?"

"Practice swords, or just practice of forms is usually what you begin with. When I was learning, Moncharles made me practice forms for several months before letting me spar with anyone..." Smithee mused, clearly remembering something fondly. "He had me practice with his daughter first, who was not much older than young Rennie there. She thrashed me soundly at the time... Said it was to teach me humility..."

Akemi crossed his arms and stared at Rennie. "Well at least he says I'm earnest. Anyway, I'm totally going to fix that leg of yours and any other problems you might have. Then I'll get you some nice clothes and anything basic you might be lacking like a good home. What's your life like now? Do you have parents?"

"I think that might be a better idea," Alex said, grateful for Smithee's advice. "What should I do with this?" he asked, gesturing at the blade with his free hand.

"Whatever you feel is right, for the moment." Smithee said, "There's many different types of swords, and many different ways to use them. It's best to use the variety you are most comfortable with, and you can't work that out until you've actually swung a sword."

Rennie, on the other hand just leaned back against the drunk-ish Olena, who was busy fawning over the one who kept her alive too many times to count. Although she was quite sparing on the details of her life; "I'm from the workhouse. Got rooms up Catskinner."

"Well little buddy I'm gonna add to this building so you could even have your own room in it," the Neko offered. "All I ask is that after I've helped you if you're pleased with the results you tell any other youngsters you know that are supporting themselves that I'll help them too and give them something to do."

The spaceman wondered exactly how skeptical the little girl was of him but figured he'd win her over eventually regardless and have some fun in the process. "If you don't trust me think of it this way, I want to help you because if Olena's willing to put her life in the hands of someone as young as yourself I'd like to put some of the same trust in you and do right by you as you've done right by her." Finished speaking with the surgeon Akemi moved over to the ring to better observe and listen.

Moving away from Smithee for the sake of safety, Alex gave the sword an experimental swing. It felt heavy, and hurt his hand.

Olena's saber seemed to have one or two problems when it came to Alex's swing. First was that it was plainly not made with him in mind. It was shorter, and heavier than most weapons of its type to account for Olena's smaller stature, and tremendous strength. Still, watching the swing, Smithee nodded once or twice.

"You're gripping it like a hammer, forcing you to twist your wrist to move the saber at full extension. You'll destroy your arm that way..." Smithee stepped in closer again, adjusting Alex's hand on the weapon to hold it quite particularly; with his thumb along the top of the grip, and curling his fore and middle finger along the underside as though the weapon had a trigger it did not actually possess.

"This is first position on the grip.Thumb on top, cutting edge down. Holding it tightly with your third and fourth fingers, while your first and second guide its direction. It's how you would hold a military saber, or grip your sword in the Academy style common here in Osman city. A fine duellist's style. They say that a gentleman with a cut upon his left cheek from a duelling saber like this makes a better husband, as it signifies he is both brave and educated; as you can only learn formal saber duelling here at the university."

"Keeping in mind there are other sword styles one may pursue." Smithee drew his own sword. A long, thin and light thrusting blade, "The Royal style I was schooled in is suitable for Kings, using a straight piercing blade. Rather than the saber such as Olena's which is for drawing blood and rending flesh, it relies upon swift and clean thrusts to kill a man outright while leaving his corpse intact for his widow to mourn over... There are also others, such as the north mountains broadsword, the longblade, steel and dagger, and presumably whatever it is that Akemi uses with that blade of his. I confess we are quite ignorant of alien swordsmanship out here..."

Meanwhile, by the side of the central ring in the tavern, Rennie just looked at Akemi like he was an alien. Which he was.

"Rooms inna broth?" She said like it was a stupid idea, she started beating a fist against the wood of the arena, giving a steady thumping noise. "I'd like'ta sleep an' not hear this all night, thanks."

When their instructor mentioned his sword Akemi pulled it out and waved it a little in front of himself enjoying having an excuse to show off the dark blue, Zesuaium katana. "You have to think bigger Rennie. All that noise means your room will be even better. To compensate for it I can make it soundproof so you'll never be disturbed. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you'll actually enjoy yourself here." The Neko wondered if the girl would manage to see the idea of completely blocking noise from traveling in and out of her room in a negative way. "Anyway, what do you and Smithee know about these Skyfolk related child disappearances? Are they an epidemic? Think I could handle them?"

Considering his own opinions on fighting, Alex asked "Is there some style that would be good for disabling an opponent without killing them?"

"Just slay them with your rapier wit and knockout looks," Akemi interjected as he vainly flicked his fingers through his luxuriously long hair and brought his blade to his face as if to inspect it through a reflection.

"You are holding a few feet of sharpened steel, and wished to know how to cut." Smithee swung his sword down, indicating the mix of blood and sand they were standing on in the arena. "If you want to not harm people, you would learn to avoid fighting with a sword in the first place. As for the disappearances, I know nothing. I don't frequent the workhouses..."

Over by Akemi, Rennie didn't bother to respond to Akemi's explanation. Just frowning and going back over to finish up patching Olena.

"I didn't say that I don't wish to hurt people, I want to be able to fight without killing them. Killing when it isn't necessary seems to me crude and a waste of life. After all, why kill an enemy when you can disable him and make him your friend?" Alex said. To him, the logic was clear, but he supposed that Smithee had a point.

The star swordsman took two steps back over to the girl and lowered his head to her level. "Oh come on Rennie, tell me whatever you can. If you know where some Skyfolk abductors are I'll round them all up and kill them in front of you or let you slowly torture them to death yourself or whatever it is you'd like if it'll get me on your good side. I want to help children through employment, not harm them."

"Alls I know is some spacefolk went inta all th' workhouses." Rennie said, plucking some sutures from Olena's shoulder with some tweezers. "Adopted 'em all. None saw 'em after."

Smithee shook his head a little and walked a few steps across the Arena. "The notion that it is good for all to get along goes out the window when faced with someone whose first priority above all things is to end your life. You can, however seek to disable them. Olena's saber skills are a good example as fighters rarely die in the ring, that way they can fight over and over for a prize..."

Akemi clearly had a new mission. "Well if you can gather me some witnesses or tell me where they might go looking to supposedly adopt some more or where you've seen any suspicious space people and what they look like I'll try to give you a little peace of mind."

The determined defender of orphans shifted his gaze once more. "I gotta ask Smithee, as a knight can you knight other people?"

Determined not to cause undue pain if at all possible, Alex persisted with his line of thought.

"If I have to kill someone, I would like to do it in the least painful way possible."

"Whatever, have to fuck 'em all. They deserve what they get, Lex?" A voice sounding remarkably like the one coming from Alex's mouth replied to him. It wasn't particularly hard to trace it to a figure sauntering over to the group of spacemen, a knight, a pit fighter, and a orphan that had formed. Wearing a whie hooded jacket, a t shirt, desert colored cargo pants and a pair of boots was a young man in the spitting image of the first that had walked into the bar. "Gotta say Koga, pretty nice place you have here. And I found my worse half too. Killing two birds with one stone."

"Thanks buddy." Akemi looked from one young, handsome identical guy to the other. "Man, I don't know what your story is but I just wanna see you two go at it now."

"Back or front room?" Smithee said, as though that was a request, "I can have either prepared..."

Very confused by this sudden turn of events, Alex turned to the newcomer and asked, "Do I know you? And... Why do you look like me?"

"Sooometimes when a mommy an' a daddy love each other very much..." Olena started to slur, "They fuck. An' affer that sometimes two kids pop out lookin' a'same. Go embraceyer longlos' bruvs, bruvs..."

Akemi shrugged. "I'm kinda hoping they fight a little and tear up each other's clothes and then they just get all tangled up and start making out when one slams the other into a hard surface."

"You're not the only one." Smithee said. And Olena... And Rennie. And about half of the tavern in unison.

"Come on man, I'm really hurt. How many times have I crushed you into the cockpit by now?" Jason let out a hearty laugh, devilish smile plastered on his face as he moved in closer to alex till his face was just inches away. " How about we step out and give everyone what they want, for old times sake?"

With a big smile the little space kitten turned to glance at and address the audience. "Oh man, you guys are all the best, especially you Rennie since you agree and you're so young. How about they all get a free round of space drinks?"

"I would gauge that about half would wish to see you in this arena, others would prefer to see you in the mud baths out back, and some others... Who knows." Smithee said, truly professionally. Seemed his interest in this situation was purely professional. Meanwhile, the group who chimed in to agree all filed to the bar, as the head barkeep raised a finger at Akemi for making her job suddenly more hectic. Rennie limping over after them to get herself a drink.

"Awww!" Akemi exclaimed. "Give Rennie two!" Evidently she was being extremely endearing. "Sorry miss!" he said at the bartender's gesture. "If it's any consolation I love your hat and outfit!"

Stepping back, Alex was very unsettled by this.

"Listen, I don't know you, and I don't know why you look like me"

His eyes lit up a little as he watched how uncomfortable his progenitor was with the situation, simply stepping forwards to keep the same distance with Alex, feeling like he was cornering guy. "Is that really how you're going to play this? Did you get hit in the head, or are you just embarrassed?"

"Hug yer bruvver!" Olena shouted drunkenly. "Give 'im a manly hug!"

"Yeah! Give 'im a good deep dickin'!" Akemi added, wanting to have fun talking like a drunkard. "Make 'im walk funnier than a drunkin' Rennie!" He then ran over to the girl for a moment. "Please don't hate me. I couldn't resist."

Clearly offended, Rennie snatched up her two free drinks and moved behind the bar to lurk in a back room.

Aggravated at the way everyone was viewing his discomfort and confusion as some sort of spectacle or amusement, Alex slammed his hand down on a nearby table in an attempt to release some of it. His patience was running thin.

Speaking in a quiet, dangerous manner that was abnormal for him, Alex inquired again. "Who are you? How do you know me? Why do you look like me? I'm getting tired of being some sort of twisted entertainment for you people and I want some answers."

"I should imagine it quite simple." Smithee said calmly, hand resting on the hilt of his sword, "He seems to have your face and remember you, you have his face and don't remember him. Presumably you have some sort of relationship, but you do not remember. Easiest example is brothers."

"Still a fucking hardass, I see." Jason shook his head at his counterpart's actions, taking a moment to remove his jacket and shirt, and pounded his chest. This illicited some cheers from the crowd, and caused the drunken Olena to applaud wildly.

"Hey man, you wanna go, I'm ready any fucking time. But if you're really not screwing with me? I'm one of the clones the SSI cooked up. Really the best model. Jason, remember?"

Thinking back to the memories that he had all to recently relived, Alex examined them. He remembered that in the simulators that he had been forced to practice in daily, there had always been a score ranking board with initials on it displayed next to a number indicating placement. He remembered that day after day, every time his score had improved, that the next time he came to there, there had always been a new score, always under his, with the initial "J".

When he heard the word "clone", Alex snapped out of his state of rememberance. "They made clones?!?" he exclaimed.

While the others spoke Akemi literally flew to the bartender. "Please ask that little angel what I can do to make amends."

Sadie, the barkeep wearing a neat suit and bowler hat just squinted a little at Akemi, "Sure, whatever."

The Neko's face burst into a stupid smile at the narrowing of Sadie's eyes and zipped over to Smithee. "So buddy, let's forget about these guys for a second. Can you knight someone yourself?"

"I could, were the order still in existence." Smithee said, "Consensus is that as everyone with title in this city found themselves incinerated, or at the end of your hangman's noose, we have disbanded until such a time as we get blessings of the new imperial court."

For the first time since he had stepped into the establishment, Jason's playful grin was replaced by a look of annoyance. "Seriously? Are you telling me that you really had no idea about any of us? Me, Draco, Ajax, literally none of it rings a bell?" He tuned away to breathe a fuming sigh. "Amazing, just fucking amazing. I finally get to meet you and you have no goddamn clue who I am."

"Well I'll certainly look into reinstating you all somehow," Akemi replied happily. He felt very relieved to know Smithee could actually see his colleagues getting back together again. "You could always be my knights not that I'm saying you'd find me worthy of the honor of your service yet. What's left of the royal family?"

Smithee looked from the ongoing drama of brothers, back to Akemi. "Considering your affections for the Hanging Judge, I'm not inclined to tell you of any surviving members. The Osmans have suffered enough."

Shaking his head in apology, Alex explained. "I was never told about any of this. Of course, how could I."

"No, no, this is fine. Fine. We can start off on the right foot." Jason rubbed his chin, turning the news he had just been given over in his head. "All right, first things first. Finally got a chance to meet with you face to face, why don't we settle which one of us is the better fighter, right here, right now?"

A cautionary, vertically held, four digit hand shot up to caution Smithee. "Oh no buddy. It's not like that. If I could swear you an oath of some kind now that would make you believe me I would. I want to be her buddy and have a fling but I know we may end up in direct opposition to each other. You, Olena, Rennie and this place all come first. I wouldn't turn you or your friends in to appeal to Arccos."

Smithee narrowed his eyes, similar to Sadie did earlier. "The Osman king and queen were killed on your people's first day here. Their children were captured. Your Sheriff hung the Prince in the palace during a riot. The Princess is missing but presumed dead. Aside from the Queen mother, bastards, and related marriages? The Osmans are dead. Next heir would be General Lewis, as closest living relative and Grand Duke of Talmarth. But his head is next on the chopping block."

Akemi threw up a second palm, raised both higher and held them closer to his chest. "Well maybe this'll sound super suspicious to you, but I'd love to protect that princess if she's alive. I'd love to marry right into the royal family and build a land for it free from Arccos' murder and meddling where you guys get to govern yourselves in peace. We could even conquer or try to unite the bandits and mountain men under us to add to what's been lost."

Smithee shook his head. "I doubt the Princess would be anywhere on this world, if alive. And you would just reignite whatever war your own people are trying to end by hunting down Lewis... Even then, whatever rabble you can rally from the mountains and wastelands would rather kill and cook us instead of submit to anything like Osman rule."

Not knowing what to do with them Akemi crossed his arms. "Well I'm going to try to find that princess for you. I really don't think Uso wants her dead at this point and I doubt a war would be inevitable if I carved us up our own chunk of land. What are your feelings about Lewis? I'd like to protect anyone who's a good guy in your book."

Looking over to some of the patrons of the Cockpit Tavern, particularly a group sitting nearby wearing the colors of Arccos' sheriff's office, Smithee clears his throat and makes a cutting gesture at his neck, the universal sign for 'cut the chatter'.

"Gentlemen!" He addressed Alex and Jason. "If you wish to duel, we can offer you swords or pistols, and an arena in which to take this up elsewhere."

"Oh come now," the pointy eared plotter said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I don't think she's necessarily that bad." To humor Smithy he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I mean maybe she is and she said she wanted to kill me but she also said I was worth too much to kill. I know she killed a lot of people but I don't think she systematically wants to go after everyone."

"Why don't we let them beat each other with big sticks like practice swords?" Akemi suggested in a boisterous outwardly directed voice. "Or how about wrestling with no striking? I'd hate to see their dreamy faces ruined. Any interesting native methods of dueling?"

"Lord Minch once challenged a man to duel by sausage." Smithee says... "That's not innuendo. They literally fought each other with sausages."

Akemi clasped his hands behind his back and spun to face Smithee with a serious stare. "Do we have sausage of sufficient caliber?"

Looking at Jason quizically, Alex considered the situation.

"Look, I don't really understand what you're talking about right now, but if what you're saying is true, and you're a clone of me, wouldn't that make us brothers?"

"Well, I guess if you want to look at it that way, sure." Looking over to the owner of the establishment, he internally debated the option." Guess I'd push for a sword fight, don't wanna chance doing anything to potentially fatal to him. We are on the same team, after all. You up for it, Alex?"

"I would prefer not to fight." Alex said, "But if we must, I suppose I can oblige."

Raising a eyebrow at his spitting image, clearly bemused, he replied with a laugh. "Hey, if you want to pussy out, be my guest. We could just catch up mn. How'd you end up out here, anyway? Fighting for Uso?"

Alex began to relate the story of how he came to be in his situation. "I woke up in some sort of medical room on board the Necromancer. I'm told they found me in a container floating in space."

"Jeez man, that's a tough break. No idea how your transport even ended up in the middle of nowhere?" Jason pulled up a seat at the table that Alex had slammed earlier, gesturing for him to take a seat as well. "Then again this is place is pretty tight. How have things been going down since you ended up here?"

Sitting down at the table, Alex began to talk. "Well, there was this beach thing that we spent about a day at, but other than that I can't really think of anything of note."

"So wait, let me get this straight. You finally got bought, but instead of ending anywhere you had to do actual work, you ended up out in the frontier where the most stressful thing you've done for...how long has it been since you left, a few months? The most stressful thing you've done has been going to a beach party. You have got to be the luckiest motherfucker I have ever met. I guess that explains your scores back in the day, honestly."

"Ey, Bartender?" Jason suddenly called back. "Mind bringing us some drinks? Put it on my, uh, bro's tab."

"Neither you gotta tab." Sadie called over. "Cash up front if you want drinks."

Turning back to Alex, he leaned in and asked in a quiet voice. "Ey man can you spot me here? Don't really have a paycheck at the moment, workin' on it though."

"I'll cover them," Akemi said coolly, ever the gentleman. "They can always pay us back in back." A thought came to mind and he looked to Smithee. "Maybe I should create my own currency so you don't have to look at the faces of a bunch of murderers anymore. The only problem is my face is priceless."

"I don't dare to imagine how you would accomplish a new currency." Smithee said. "I'll keep accepting what's actually worth something in trade, regardless."

"Well if Arccos can do it so can I. Have a little faith friend." Another idea struck the red eyed reveler. "What's the situation with your parents and Olena's? I could make any old relatives and friends as youthful as you if you'd like. I'm essentially immortal after all."

"Thanks man. Almost makes up for that time you got me shot. Almost." Pointing at the first barmaid who entered his line of sight he ordered. "Yo, since Akemi is paying up, get me and my boy a glass of gin."

"Olena is an orphan, and my parents are not on good terms with me." Smithee explained. "And my main concern is I have no idea how one would go about establishing a currency to begin with. Treasurers are tiresome such that I never gleaned any of their trade..."

Akemi gently rested a hand upon Smithee's shoulder. "Well if you ever get the urge to attempt to mend relations you just tell me. As for the know how, well I've got a huge amount of information in historical records I can look through and I've got a mind that can process things very fast. I can absorb a book just by casually flipping through it." Just when he felt he was done more came to mind. "What's the literacy rate like here?"

Smithee gave an emphatic shrug. "I confess to not bother going around asking the everyday man whether they have brushed up on the classics. Although I do know that one of yours is going around teaching some how to read at the University."

Meanwhile, drinks are delivered over to the table Alex and Jason sat at. A bottle of gin, and two glasses are placed between them by a surly looking Olena.

"Y'bruthers. Y'shoulda hugged!"

At this, the second young man couldn't but burst out laughing. "Your really committed to this, aren't you? Fuck it." The still shirtless one stood up and walked over to his twin before trying to pull Alex out of the chair and tightly embrace him. "Man, Alex, it's good seeing you. Good actually meeting you, to be honest." Looking back at the woman who had just brought there drinks, he added. "Feel free to join in, if you want."

Returning the hug, Alex was glad to have companionship in his turbulent life. At some point he would have to explain about his memories. Or ask about the other clones.

Figuring his friend liked getting physical and thus wouldn't mind Akemi grabbed one of his hands and clasped it between his. "You know what worries me most? Forget Arccos. I've got so much knowledge and stuff I could impart upon you almost instantly but I'm afraid if I did you might just decide to leave me and fly off into space. That's my big worry when I think of you worrying you couldn't trust me with info on people. You've got me over a barrel buddy."

Olena shook her head, her face under her over-long bangs fit for hiding black eyes a deep blush from drink and sentiment by now. "Sh'naw. Y'should 'preciate yer family!"

Smithee on the other hand lowered his chin slightly from his normal pose of pride and poise. His fingers curled around Akemi's hand, intertwining with Akemi's. "Be that the case, the only ones who can truly keep secrets are the dead. For the good of protecting what is left of a noble family, it's best that their details remain obscure."

"Sure, I think we'll get along. We cool, Alex?" Closing the gesture with a few pats on the back, he let him go, moving to return to his seat and turning to the drunken women in front of them. "Still, 'preciate the sentiment. What's your name anyway? You're not really dressed like most of the barmaids out here."

Olena finished downing her glass of brandy, setting it down on the tabletop with a little 'tup' noise. "'m Olena Sands. Bareknuckle Champion 'a tha ring, an' holder'a tittle in wimmen's saber."

"Well I'm not trying to pry here. I'm just providing perspective and wondering if you've got some oath of fellowship we could take given you're a knight." Akemi smiled gleefully at what he would say next. "I don't want you running out on me." He loved the idea of making it seem like they were a couple.

Smithee gave a wicked little grin, raising back up to his position of pride. "Alas, the order has been disbanded by wicked starmen such as yourself. You'll have to just keep impressing me if you want me to stick around."

"So you're the place's resident badass, eh? Nice to meet you." He replied, popping open the bottle and filling both of the glasses, then sliding one to Alex. "Don't suppose I can offer you a drink?"

"Bad? I'd say her ass is awful good," Akemi interjected quickly with a little raising of his eyebrows. He simply had to cash in on the natives' lack of understanding of their expressions.

"Baddest ass 'bout's jus' Duke Blake..." Olena slurred sourly. "'e's a bituvva prick."

Trying his best not to snicker at Akemi's jeers, he asked. "That so? Bet I could take him. Teach him a bit of humility" Jason took a swig of his gin, look back at his twin. "You been busting any heads in here Alex?"

"Ooh!" Akemi exclaimed, reeling from Smithee's piercing verbal blow. "I feel like you've just struck me with a thrust of your kingly killing technique and I've got no one to mourn me. I swear you won't be disappointed with me, at least in totality."

Smithee moved his free hand to Akemi's shoulder, one of his fingers playing lightly across the skin of the little starman's neck, "Well, I should see to it that you're always on edge and willing to please. Just keep things mutual and neither of us will be disappointed."

Olena just placed an elbow on the table, cradling her chin in a scarred palm. "Eh. Yer a bit too squish ta do a proper ring bout wi' anybutt. Blake'd mop up wi' ya..."

Jason glanced down at his rather...squishy physique. "Well I guess you got a point there, despite the strength augs. I could use an excuse to start trying to get ripped."

Just as if to prove a point, Olena pulled up one of the torn and bloodied sleeves of her tunic to show off an arm. One flex, and the slabs of muscle she was carrying about gave the impression of footballs mating underneath a hide so scarred and sunblasted as to give an impression she'd shoved a fist through hell.

Akemi freed one hand to caress the bottom of Smithee's cheek and then slowly ran it along his neck before settling it on his collarbone. "Then in the spirit of mutuality I ask that you and Olena do me a favor get in my magic healing tube later and take a nap so I can make whatever improvements you'd like and prove to Rennie it's safe for her use. I only remarked on her leg earlier as she'll never have that problem again if I have my way. I can even make her the size she'd be if she'd eaten better though that'd pain because I love a good tragic, starved, shivering waif. It's romantic."

"Damn." The young man couldn't help but let out a low whistle, clearly pretty impressed with Olena's build and the testament to the punishment she's recieved. "Guess your champ for a reason. Mind if I give your biceps a feel?"

Olena offered up her arm to Jason, as Smithee gave a little short laugh, pressing lightly against Akemi's hand. "Tragic, starved and shivering is not how I'd describe Rennie. Not met a girl with a steadier hand. But at this stage, I don't know what I would change in a magical tube that can fix all bodily afflictions... After all, I can't say anyone's been dissatisfied with my body."

The boy gladly reached out to feel it up as she obliged, all though with a bit of tentativeness given it was hard not to interact with any of her scars and potentially hurt her. "So, you bash heads here as a hobby or for a living? Been doing it long?"

"Fer cash." Olena explained as Jason felt her arm. It was near impossible to avoid the scars, since it seemed from the sheer force of numbers of them that she just blocked swords with her forearm. The bicep however was less gnarled seeming, though. None the less, she was hard as a coffin nail. "Four years unbeat inna ring now."

"Well I'm sure your body 's just fine for men and women alike," Akemi said as he placed another hand on Smithee's shoulder and brushed off some nonexistent dust. "You're a marvelous man. Just convince Olena to use it or whatever it'd take to get our little surgeon in there. I'd love to see her stumbling around drunk first though to be honest. Her limp is really endearing."

He was somewhat aware that he was a bit of an anomaly, but the fact that she'd been fighting straight wins in the pit since long before he was born made her array of "souvenirs" from her many bouts fairly plausible. "Remind me to put a bet on you next time I get a paycheck." Gesturing over to the bars owner and chief investor with a nod, he questioned. "You going to take Akemi's up on his offer to get rid of these 'trophies'?" He took the opportunity to slide a finger just above he length of one of her more prominent scars.

Olena just shrugged, "I'unno. Tough skin makin' it easier t' handle th' cuts. Bu' nice skin's nice..."

Jason let out a hearty laugh. "It's definitely a tough choice there, yeah. Might be fun to go back to how it felt when you first started though, even if it doesn't look quite as cool. Least you wouldn't have to worry about opening old wounds."

Walking over to Smithee, Alex was hoping there was somewhere quieter that he could learn.

"Excuse me, is there someplace else we could go for the instruction?"

Turning from Akemi, Smithee thought on it, "Well, technically I am at work right now. I can't just drop everything and teach anyone swordsmanship at the drop of a hat..."

Taking out a piece of paper from his back pocket, and a space-made pen, the knight jotted something down. "Here. You can contact the Once Royal Society of Bladesmen at this address, they can probably connect you with a teacher with more time for instruction. If you're lucky, you might be able to find Moncharles himself."

"Well you can always have perfectly smooth skin along with the scars," Akemi pounted out as he too marveled at the woman. "Or I could increase its overall toughness. I could even turn you into a guy for a while so you could beat Duke Blake and win the men's saber."

"Nope and noooo." Olena said, shaking her head. "'s cheatin' an' Blake's a madman."

The raven-haired man smiled thinking he might have hit upon something entertaining. "Well you and Smithee might think I'm a mad man too. What's he like? Is he fun?"

"Does he ever stop by around here? Sounds like a guy I wouldn't mind seeing in the pit, despite the whole being a prick thing."

"The Duke Blake is a disgrace to court." Smithee explained "His lands were confiscated soon after he inherited the title, and he commited himself to showing the rest of the world that he was more deserving than any other... While skilled he is... Difficult."

Olena just shook her head. Waving over a barmaid to get her more to drink.

"Sounds like someone we should invite over some time," Akemi suggested, hoping talk of the man had been the impetus driving Olena to drink more. "Thinking back to how it was mentioned Olena's a commoner I've gotta totally get her a title too and have her come to a meeting of nobles that's been arranged for me. Surely she'd enjoy wearing a fancy dress for a change."

"I don't know exactly how the peerage works around here, but I'm not sure you can just give people a title on a whim. Maybe Uso could, but I dunno if they're the type to care. What's all this about a meeting of nobles?" Jason finished his glass, quickly refilling it from the bottle Olena had brought over. He had been temporarily distracted from his mission to beat up Akemi by the time he walked through the door, and as for his brother....well, after some time of being unresponsive to his questions and taking his leave, he was a tad miffed. "Geeze. Guy was ignoring me since I sat down and didn't even say goodbye. So much for brotherly love."

"Well, he seemed more interested in swordplay than anything... Why the dune devil he came here in the first place is beyond me." Smithee shook his head. "And the Duke turns up regularly for matches. No need to invite him."

Olena just took her drink and blew some hair from her eyes "Dun' want title bullshite. Got cash, 'm fine. T'hell wi' sittin' roun' lookin' courtly!"

The pointy eared proprietor had to push for this. "But the less you want to and the worse you're at it the more attractive it is. You wouldn't wear a pretty dress for your little Starman and pig out on free food and booze?"

"You could always put Smithee in a dress and drag him there." He gave the rather attractive man a once over, before finishing his second glass. "I'm sure he could pull it off."

"The issue is more that Olena does not wish to marry." Smithee explains, placing a hand on Olena's head as she took a long drink "Although I'm sure free food would appeal to her, it would probably insult your hosts."

"Oh, well I intend for him to come too. That's a given," Akemi explained. "I gotta get her to come though. She's plenty courtly right now. I'd court the shit out of her and bed and wed 'er as she is." He then placed his hands on his hips as he looked to Smithee. "You're telling me they wouldn't at least welcome her as a champion of an honorable art and an entertaining novelty?"

Jason took a moment to adress Olena directly while the other two debated the issue. "I mean, if YOU actually want to go, and it's not something he's pushing for... just to have you be like 'em. Show up with your two friends here tell 'em the...what are you calling us now? Starmen? Gave you some sort of title to recognize your skill or something. High Blademaster, I 'dunno. It's what I would do, probably tell 'em I was a Admiral in the fleet or something. Not like they can fact check that shit. What are they going to do, throw you out?"

"They don't consider the saber as an honorable combat when it is done as sport." Smithee explained, "Saber is the soldier's weapon, not the weapon of a gentleman and so on and so forth. The closest equivalent would be Master of the King's Squires, who is Moncharles. Frankly, I doubt they would believe anything about titles handed out by those around Akemi here, as he's already isolated himself from court by identifying himself as a merchant instead of a gentleman. At this stage, without direct word from your Empress, Sheriff, or Ambassador? No one will believe your 'titles' any further."

At the mention of the Sheriff, Jason face began to light up and he focused his full attention on Akemi. "Now, for the most part I doubt the Sheriff would do a favor for you man, but... What if I told you I have a foolproof way to maybe get her to go along with it? Would be a tad painful for you though." He glanced over at Olena. "Of course you did say you didn't want one."

The vice peddler crossed his arms. "Well it's easy to fix. It's not like Uso dislikes me. At least I learned how amusingly prickly Penelope can be as a result. I'm glad you aren't like her though Smithee." Akemi shifted his gaze to the mech pilot. "What's your plan?"

“Well, if you think that Uso will back you up, maybe it's not worth the effort for you to go through with it.” Outside, the deafening roar of the Seraphim's plasma engines played, before petering out as the 17 ton angelic monstrosity parked itself outside Smithee's bar. “But Arccos did promise me a reward back on New Belfast for making you suffer, and it was kind of my plan till the whole “I ran into the guy I was cloned from” thing. Really seems to enjoy watching you in pain. Hard to blame her.”

"So what's your plan?" Akemi asked again, seeming unaffected.

"Well, I waaaaas going to take that Giant robot and toss you around a little. Figure Neko's could stand up to that sort of punishment." Jason scratched his chin a bit, giving it some thought. "On the OTHER HAND, well...I could always grab you with it, have you grovel at her feet a little in fear, use my favor to set this stuff up. She's fun, would be pretty nice hitting up what counts for a party at this place with her. And I'd love my own title. Whaddya say? Willing to play along?"

Looking outside, many of the tavern's occupants crowd to the windows to look at this new piece of space tech. Notably those deputies present didn't bother; they seemed used to giant machines at this point.

Akemi extended an arm, made a fist and pointed an index finger from it at Jason. "You try to mess me up with your mecha and hurt Smithee's establishment I will carve his name in you along with countless decorative markings and make you his personal scabbard buddy."

"I'm fine with begging. We can say it was your idea but I've thought groveling to her could be amusing. I don't have to do it to get officially confirmed as royalty but it'd be fun and I need to eventually talk to her to see about getting her to leave the people who strike deals with me alone or as as alone as possible."

"I dunno man, I gotta admit, I'd like to see you try that. But even if I did go after you, I figure I wouldn't blow up this place. Kind of grown me on me, given me some fond memories of meeting my brother and him ditching me a few minutes later." Taking one last swig of Gin, this time not bothering to pour it and simply drinking straight from the bottle, he stood up, gesturing to the door. "Well if you're really game, let's get it over with before the crowds out there really start to get together."

"Are you asking if I'm game for a homoerotic fight or meeting Arccos?" Akemi asked, wanting to make sure he knew what he was getting into.

Looking down at his own shirtlessness the boy let out a laugh. "Well, I meant the latter but I'm a bit better dressed for the former. It'll end with you grovveling to the sheriff either way though."

"Well alrighty then." Akemi turned to Smithee for a moment before heading to the door. "Just gonna go beg to a mass murderer. I likely won't be long."

"If that's how you want to swing it man. See you around Olena. You too Smithee." He followed after the Neko, bottle and thrown aside clothes still in tow.

Smithee and Olena just looked to one another. The knight shook his head solemnly. "Just try to get back in one piece."

---

The actual location of Arccos proved somewhat difficult to track down. Not at her offices in the old courthouse, or around her workshop where the White Lament had been crashed some weeks earlier. It would take Jason and Akemi stopping to ask some of her Deputy Brigadiers where she was, leading them to a location somewhere in the dockside warehouses. The makeshift factory where the Buttonless Brigade operated the city's archaic printing presses to make money, and print bounty notices and newsletters.

Pointed inside by a Brigadier, they would find the Sheriff busy tapping away at a holographic display to apparently reprogram a junker drone which had been incorporated into the printing press somehow, Too absorbed in her work to pay attention to visitors.

"Maybe I should put my hand up your ass and use you as a puppet to talk to her," Akemi stage whispered to Jason. "Hey Arccos can we talk for a bit without you shooting me?"

It seemed that in preparation Jason had redressed himself, one hand clutching his 'captive's' shoulders and the other holding on to the NSP he had kept from the Pumpkin Eater. Not to be dissuaded by her lack of reaction Jason followed up Akemi's greetings. "Yeah, I think our friend here has some very important things to say." At this, Jason did his best to force Akemi to his knees, sending him a message via mindware. "Try not to fuck this up or you're going to have a hand to do it with. Always interested if Neko regeneration had any limits."

"What's this about?" Arccos shouted over the din of the presses, not looking up from her work. Keeping her back to both of them, "He done something?"

Akemi turned to give Jason some lip. "Don't go trying to push me buddy, you get credit for suggesting this but I'll submissively suck Arccos' feet of my own accord." He then returned his gaze to the Thieftaker. "I'm here to ask if you'll help me out."

Jason returned a very annoyed glare at the man beside him. "What he MEANS to say," he did his best to shout over the din of the warehouse, "is that after a long and fruitful talk with me, Akemi is ready to be a standup citizen and wants to do anything, almost anything, even beg, to get back in your good graces. Just ask."

"This your idea or his?" Arccos shouted over her shoulder, slowly drawing her sidearm from a holster at her belt and turning to approach the two.

"It's both of ours," Akemi interjected hastily. "Can we go somewhere quieter to talk?"

"It's something I convinced him of after a long and fruitful discussion about alternatives to experimenting with how far you can go picking apart a cat with mecha sized hands before it kicked the bucket."

Arccos jerked her head sideways, indicating them to follow as she led them out of the warehouse's large main doors. Pistol in hand. The trio would find themselves standing in a filthy side-road. Cobblestones patched with I'ee asphalt, refuse from the presses... This wasn't a pleasant part of town.

"Problem with all this is he was never in my good graces. I don't want him there." Arccos said harshly. "So this is your one warning that you get so I can claim to have been civil to the woman who pays me. Leave, or I will see you dead, Akemi."

"Can we talk long distance then?" Akemi asked cautiously. "You said I had to step my game up and keep it in my pants so I want to let you know I'm stepping it up. I'm feeding the Vekimen, befriending the wasps and looking to govern part of the planet so it's less lawless while aiming to improve its quality of life with better food production, medical care and employment."

"Well, I do want to point out if you try flying away I'm probably sending the M5 after you for wasting my fucking time here, and that thing easily hits mach six." It was starting to dawn on him that it was possible that he could have underestimated the level of pure hatred the woman who freed him bore for the Neko. Considering that his first interaction with her was her trying to push Rubi into murdering the guy and inadvertently getting him shot perhaps proved that this was severe naivety on his part. The fact that he was trying to be cute and openly talking about trying his hand at governance probably didn't help matters much. "Now Arccos, i'm not saying outright killing the dude wouldn't be satisfying, ST technology aside, but considering that I'm holding a Neko grade stunner here it's possible you might want to go with something a bit slower." Trying to message Akemi once more, he sent a communication to their digital brain via mindware. "If you still want this work, this would be the point where you should probably get on your knees, start acting scared, and beg for you life in a way that doesn't make her want to kill you more."

"Uso gave the planet a government. President Grant is doing his thing somewhere around." Arccos said simply, her shoulders easing a little at the notion that Akemi wasn't here entirely voluntarily. "Although I can appreciate your bringing in a guy who just confessed to treason, Jason. Same time, I'm not entirely at a point where I want to see him suffer a long and painful death when I could do something constructive. I want you gone, Akemi. If all you have for me is that you're doing your job and being friendly with the friendliest creatures in existence? I might as well just take you in and have you exiled by supper time."

"I can figure out when and how to beg for myself thank you very much," Akemi sent back before walking closer to Arccos. "It's honestly not treason to me. Uso said we could do what we wanted with the nobles so I figured I'd take a crack at dealing with them myself in a practical manner. Grant can't handle everything by himself or not well anyway. I'd like to take whoever is willing to follow me and give them their own little place and system and shower them with space stuff. I made two good native friends and just want to have fun with them and build the place up my own way. You and Grant won't be stretched so thin then."

It didn't take a genius to see that Akemi was kind of an expert at digging his own grave. Either he was doing this on purpose, or genuinely didn't understand that questioning the methods and offering to take control of a not insubstantial portion of a planet was perhaps not the best way to endear himself to a woman who was very clearly hellbent on either killing him or seeing him gone from her life forever. He was starting to believe that just tearing him apart with the Seraphim might have been the better option. "Now personally, I'm fine with whatever you settle on. We could stun him right now, take him to the right people and edit his Soul" He put the word in air quotations. "To make him think that leaving was his idea, never have to worry about the guy again. That being said, despite his current suicidal tendencies, I really do think the guy could come in handy. He's supposed to be pretty rich, probably integrated with buisness circles on the outside. Maybe if you guys could...work out your frustrations, whatever that takes, it could be for the best."

Arccos just held up an open palm to Jason, just signalling him to stop.

"He would be useful to us if he just kept his head down, ran his restaurant and paid his taxes." She said firmly, "He can do whatever he wants with the nobles, so long as they consent, but he's not going to be allowed to usurp control of any part of Uso's territory. Can you identify his co-conspirators?"

"Leave my little babies alone!" Akemi protested. "They are not co-conspirators! They're my friends! I'll have you know I have no formal job. I'm just supposed to attract people to the planet and provide some lizards food. I don't have to do anything else but I am."

He turned to Jason for a moment. "You try to edit my soul or whatever and I'll make you disappear like a fuckin' magician buddy."

"If I beg will that help? I renounce all affiliation with Yamatai. I never chose to be a Neko. What would sway you? I'm sorry I ever touched you if it bothers you so much." The thought of saying he might kill as many Spacers as he could if his friends were hurt crossed the little tavern owner's mind.

For a moment, the fear of the possibility of getting innocents caught up in Arrcos rooting out a conspiracy and the natural tendency to submit to authority warred in his mind. "I...I mean, I can't really point to anyone. I don't think he's masterminding a grand rebellion with a fucking tavern owner, and that's the only person I've seen him with. He was planning a get together with a bunch of nobles...but..." The young man shrugged his shoulder, a little bit of distress breaking through not because of Akemi's assumedly empty threats, but simply the gravity of the situation. This was definitely not going how he expected it to.

"Tavern owner..." Arccos said, pressing a finger behind her ear as some sort of obvious component of the use of her mindware. She clearly wanted these two to know she was acting on that nugget of information.

"See. Here's the thing... Uso runs this place. She gave the nobles a very clear-cut choice. They would join her, or they would die. And the first one who took a shot on her, she cracked their skull open with a cannon ball." Arccos held her arms out at the elbow, her gun hanging from her fingers loosely. Some grim expression on her face like none of this was up to her. "If you're telling me that you're cooking some sort of plan to rule some chunk of Uso's territory as your own government, independant of her edict: That's treason, whether or not the notion that it's treason passes through your head... If it doesn't pass through your head, we can pass bullets through your head. And since I get the feeling you don't give two shits about your own person, I remind you that it's also the heads of every one of your little noble toy dolls you want to have fun with on the line."

She put the gun away, reholstering it at her hip. Extracting one of her foul little cigarillos and placing it at her teeth. It was at least some step closer to de-escalation. Above them, a storm cloud over the sea thundered, threatening to give downpour any moment.

"I'm paid by Uso to stop this sort of thing. So you can take your nobles, and go play house elsewhere if you really want them under your control. If you want to rule them legally here? You'll go and talk to Grant, and you'll get elected. Because that's how he wants things done, and Uso put him in charge of choosing how things are done. What's between you and me, right now? That's got nothing to do with it. You do this above board? You can go on your merry way so long as you get your stain of a presence away from me."

"They're not toy dolls. They're my babies," Akemi corrected. "I was going to go to Uso anyway first but this guy suggested talking to you so I risked my life to humor him. I'm glad you'll leave my people alone if I get her permission. I still want to be your friend but that's good enough for me. I never planned to rule anyone without permission anyway so I'm not a threat. I was just wondering if you'd murder everyone willy nilly and try to sabotage everything if I didn't talk to you for your permission as well."

"Humoring me? I'd given you a choice between this, what this was supposed to be, and me curbstomping you." Shaking his head in disbelief at what he was hearing, he wasn't quite sure what he could add to the discussion. He was at least hoping that hadn't just guaranteed Smithee getting dissapeared at the hand of Arccos' deputies, but he was almost certain it was bad idea to show his face around there at this point. "Listen, I, uh...sorry about how this is going down Arc. Not really how I expected this thing to play out."

Akemi crossed his arms and struck a quintessential pose of defiance. "You trying to give me some amusing grief to please Arccos is one thing but if you think I'll just let you do whatever you want to me without possible severe retaliation you'll have another thing coming buster. I die and another one of me and a lot of other people are going to come and make you wish you were dead. Whenever you hear a whistle blowing you best look out for the rape train."

"I mean, that's not really how soul transfers work, but I'll leave you kids to your pissing contest." Arccos said, lighting her cigarillo. "I've got a tavern owner to interrogate to verify all this, now..."

Akemi ran right up to Arccos. "Does that mean you're going to torture him? He hasn't done anything. He's running the tavern I bought that your guys like called The Cockpit."

"I don't torture." Arccos said, "You've clearly been speaking with some folks with weird ideas in their heads."

"Are you going to fuck with his brain?" Akemi asked immediately after receiving an answer. "He's just a very handsome nice guy who thinks I'm nice and we like being homoerotic together."

"Just so we're clear, I know you have to track down all your leads," Jason interjected. "I have my doubts that a native running a place called The Cockpit is much of a threat."

Arccos just paused for a moment, staring at Akemi and clearly thinking of something. A little ash fell from the end of her smoke, as a little smile split over her features. She was clearly enjoying something about this.

"Not surgically, anyway." She finally said. "I'd need to know more about him since anyone can own a tavern. Treason is a severe offense, after all. Lewis' supporters have to be rooted out so we don't have another Gleipnir incident."

Seeing how much Arccos was enjoying herself Akemi dropped to his knees and clasped his hands as if in prayer. "If you're thinking of hurting him somehow please try having a genuine friendly talk with him first and take into account he's a knight who probably had a lot of his friends die. He thinks my idea is dubious and not likely to turn out well. He's actually helping you. At least look at his awesome ass before you do anything to him. I bet you could be good friends. I'd love to see you there."

"He own the tavern?" Arccos asked pretty straight, looking down at Akemi. The first few drops of rain starting to fall over the city.

"I bought it but he runs it and basically lives in it," Akemi replied staring directly into the Sheriff's eyes. "I'm really tempted to talk to your boot." A little smile crossed his face. "He's my first franchisee. I'm letting him keep whatever he wants exactly how it is. I really like it."

"Hm." Arccos looked over to Jason. "You involved with this little meeting of noble conspirators?"

Genuine suprise set into his face as she asked the question. "Of course not, I haven't even met any of them. Check my mindware, I have absolutely nothing to hide here."

"In that case, I suggest you go. Might be a good time." Arccos said simply, as Jason could feel his mindware connecting to Arccos'. Some sensation like cold, clammy fingers creeping around in his skull as she sifted through his digital memory implants. She hunched down, looking the kneeling neko in the face as the rain started to pelt down properly. "As for Akemi... I think I've worked you out now. So I have to ask. Are you even the least bit sorry for anything you did to me?"

Akemi ceased with the smile and tried to be as solemn and cautious sounding as he could. "Well I'm really sorry if I hurt you one way or another but I just like fooling around. That's how I make friends. I'm on my knees because I want to be your friend and to protect the ones I just met."

"You failed. You're fucking awful at making friends." Arccos practically barked.

"Well I don't feel I've failed until I've given up," Akemi replied. "And what I'm doing is not a conspiracy. Think of it this way. If I'm so incompetent I'm the ideal controlled opposition. I don't want to go against Uso. I just want to wear fancy outfits and act aristocratic like in fantasy books while helping people. I'm sure some people will find it easier to work with me than Uso."

The feeling of someone tearing at the seams of his personal history, laying his life out to bare for someone else to judge and monitor him wasn't an unfamilar one. In contrast to how shared thoughts and feelings were used to maintain a supposedly more equal society, Psychopomp had used them as much as a tool to oppress their soldiers as to make them more efficent. “Yeah, if they let me I figure it'd be a good time.”

He did his best swat away whatever guilt he had manifested for putting a possibly innocent person in Arrcos' crosshairs. At the end of the day, thats just what happens when you cross the line of people with power. At the very least if his current display of remorse, it seemed like Akemi really did love the guy enough to finally start backing down.

"I don't think you're incompetent. I think you're self-centered. And the way to deal with that sort of person is to keep them on a leash so tight they choke if they stray. For now, I'll ask that Jason keep an eye on you, since he's an open book I know how to read." Arccos planted a mechanical hand atop Akemi's head, squeezing very slightly, drawing her face close but keeping a lit cigarillo between her mouth and Akemi's.

"And if anything gets out of hand, I will start plucking away your fancy outfits, and noble company one bit at a time. And you can throw shit around about coming back and doing horrible shit to me or anyone else, but I will be right there coming back over and over just like you can. And I'll relish every second of hurting you and every single person you love if it comes down to it. But... If there's any justice in the universe it won't come down to that."

Akemi sighed and crossed his arms again. "Well if we're all just going to keep coming back over and over again whatever happens I wish we could be buds. Wanna come to the party if you won't go about killing people just because they're rude to you and trying to ruin everything for me?"

"You did say you thought it would be fun," Jason said, doing his best and likely failing to inject some levity into the atmosphere. Considering that he had just convinced himself that he likely wasn't going to have to steer clear of the guy for the rest of his life, the idea that he was being offically assigned as someone to inform on the guy just in case was a bit of a suprise. Then again at the least it meant that he had Arrcos' trust...or at least that was the most favorable way he found to contextualize the circumstances. "If not, i'll be there o make the guy doesn't start getting together a insurgency or starting a riot by myself. Think i'd need a title from the Imperial Court for them not to kick me out, though."

"Well, pick a title." Arccos said, raising herself up and pressing down on Akemi's head to use him as leaning post. "It's not like these are formally assigned around here... And I'll probably send Braith instead of myself. I have better things to do than waste time with people who only think they're important."

The pilot scratched his chin, giving the title a moment's thought. "Well if my job is just to spy on people and eat their food I guess I can go with Grand Inquisitor."

"What's Braith like?" Akemi asked excitedly. "Sounds like a pretty person."

"He's my pet noble. Use your imagination." Arccos said bitterly. "Probably closer to reinstating the gentry than you are at this point."

"Oh wow, so you keep noble pets." Akemi's voice made it sound like Arccos' hand had been caught in the cookie jar. "What's his butt rating?"

A bit intrigued by the pet line, he couldn't help but ask. "...You have a butt rating?"

"Check the document." Arccos said, perfect deadpan. Before turning and definitively speaking straight to Jason. "Butt rating isn't my invention. (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V is a scientific fact."

The Neko rubbed into the arm leaned against him. He wanted to purr but he was afraid Arccos would get violent like she did during their first meeting. "I just want you to know your breasts are totally my size. You're high on my personal T and A rating. That nose of yours is up there too."

"Man, the SSI didn't think to teach me..." He remarked, letting out a chuckle at Akemi's attempt to push his luck even further. Well, at the very least he couldn't say the guy had bad taste. "Personally I'm a pretty big fan of how she manages to use guys like you as furniture."

"He's a nekovalkyrja." Arccos informed, "They're basically appliances."

"Oh man I love being used as furniture." The space kitten decided to risk a little purring at being stripped of his personhood. "I wish I could be her chair."

"I think if my toaster or whatever was as annoying as Akemi I'd have melted it down by now, so at this point I think he's pretty lucky." He quipped back. "Personally I'd think you'd be pushing more for being Uso's throne, honestly."

"Pretty sure Uso's ultimate goal is to sit on everyone in one way or another." Arccos shrugged, squeezing a little harder at Akemi's purring.

Akemi purred super loud at the tightening of the grip. "Awwww! I wish we could be frenemies or something! I hope Uso sits on me too!"

"Hey, if she's offering...pretty sure her butt rating is through the roof." At the moment, Jason wasn't entirely sure how he felt about how...enticing that purring was. "That all being said, if my furniture made some of the noises Akemi makes I could forgive it for a few things..."

"Pretty sure I scared her off or something, personally." Arccos shrugged, unholstering her biggest and meanest gun from her thigh and pointing it generally in Akemi's direction, "Not that I mind, I can't stand purring."

The raven-haired kitten stopped the noise all at once. "Well I'm glad I know for certain now buddy. I'm surprised Uso would give up pursuing you. Maybe she did because she found out I was on the prowl."

"Think that she could be playing hard to get?" Even with the drizzle, it was hard not to enjoy the scene unfolding before him. "Or maybe just not too into being kept as a pet? Her loss, really."

"Considering the last time we talked about it I said I was fine with her advances, it's more likely she got bored or something." Arccos shrugged, holstering the gun again, "Not really hard to get or anything like that."

"So why's she okay and I'm not?" Akemi whined. "Am I just too eager to please? Do I have to be a bad kitten or something? Maybe I should just start ignoring you and feigning disinterest and licking my anus. Use the Lament as my litter box."

"Somehow I doubt Arccos has Uso on her good side because she's been taking shits in her spaceship. No comment on her sending pictures of her licking her own butt though." He noted. "So, Uso is really one of the cats, huh? Guess her hood was hiding the ears. Don't suppose this is all some really convoluted SAINT Black Ops Project, is it?"

"Uso's some sort of export model, who's had little to do with Yamatai for some time now. Also doesn't whine." Arccos clarified, "I doubt she's got anything to do with SAINT."

"I don't have anything to do with SAINT either," Akemi declared. "I also just remembered something! I'm going to try to stop whatever space people are apparently abducting little orphan workers because this one girl at the tavern said every child who's been adopted by space people never returned. I'm doing good things beyond whatever Uso wants. Are you doing anything about that?"

"Yes." Arccos said simply, releasing a little of the squeeze on Akemi's skull... Then reapplying it soon after. "You're also just plain not my type. For relations or friends, just to be perfectly clear."

"Well if you're looking for any volunteers, I'd be up for hunting down some kidnappers. I mean assuming they're not just doing sensible thing and not raising the kids on this hellhole." He gleefully replied to Akemi. "Hey man, I think you still might have a chance at meeting her taste in furniture."
Akemi simply refused to be discouraged. "I'm everyone's type. You just haven't seen enough of me yet. You've only seen the tip of the iceberg. Are there any leads you can give me on the investigation? Is there any way we can work together? The rail thin girl that told me about the disappearances is one of my babies. She's had a fucked up leg since was six. One of my goals is to get her to trust me enough to hug me so I'm going to fix her body, spoil her rotten and try to solve this issue. I also want an army of adorable orphan children to work for me that I can shower with space stuff to make love me. I'm not only interested in helping the rich and elite."

"Well, you're both now on the case of rooting out treason among the former ruling classes. One job at a time." Arccos said wearily, getting a firm grip on Akemi's head and pulling him up to his feet. "And you're either arrogant to the point of hubris, or is this something they taught you in the Star Army? That you can be loved by everyone as long as you give them enough handouts? They need to stand on their own feet."

"Fair point. Guess in that case I shouldn't literally be calling myself the Grand Inquisitor. Don't want to spook 'em too much. Maybe I will go with something innocent sounding like Chancellor..." At the mention of the girl, Jason's eyes narrowed at Akemi, searching his memory bank for what he had seen and heard back at the cockpit. "Wait a minute, are you talking about that kid you made run away after making fun of her leg? I think you might have fucked that one up too, pal."

The space kitten noted he'd literally been elevated by Arccos' hand despite her enjoying him lowering and debasing himself. He figured he could read into the act and was thus pleased. He was also happy simply because of how much he'd manage to say to make a case for himself. One day he would have this Spacer in his grasp. "Buddy I just poked fun at it because it'd be permanently fixed before the day was over. And I'm not arrogant, they'll learn to love me for who I am too. You just wait. They'll also be independent. I'll give them whatever jobs they're comfortable with like being hawkers or something. I gotta say it's pretty rich that a Spacer who calls me egotistical whose people are often commies is saying I'll be giving too much."

Arccos just frowned slightly, letting Akemi's head go and stepping over to the warehouse where she had left her work idle.

"Look, get your stuff in order. If you need me to back up whatever you're calling yourselves, just call me and I'll make an appearance. I need to finish this print copy and interrogate two witnesses to verify you're not up to something."

"Can I get a little badge since we're investigators directly tasked by you?" Akemi cried. "Pretty please?"

"You're civilian consultants, not part of the Brigade." Arccos shouted over the noise of the presses, opening the door to the warehouse. "Get enlisted and go through boot camp and you can earn a badge."

"I think I'll pass on that one, have enough shit to do with this and getting ready for free I'ee as it is." He gave a wave before she dissapeared into the warehouse, walking past Akemi. "You know if I'm going to be spending so much time watching you, I really do need a tab at that bar of yours..."

"Awww. And you said you didn't torture," Akemi whined again since he'd already been called out on whining. "It was nice talking to you! I'll let you touch my butt whenever you want to update my rating!"

"Well whatever. It's not like you gotta follow me everywhere," the Neko said turning to Jason and hovering over to him. "If you do you might end up getting spit roasted by me and Smithee."