Approved Submission Cessation Class Light Cruiser

[Edto Xar'Sivaree]

Submission Type: Ship
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?...cessation_class_light_cruiser#weapons_systems

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Yes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: @CadetNewb for Review please.

 

[CadetNewb]

Due to conflict of interest, @Wes will have to review this article I believe.

 

[Ametheliana]

I have been asked to review this article by Edto and will use a checklist as soon as my concerns are addressed.

"superior manoeuvrability to out move her opponents and chunk away their hulls until all that is left is burned away scrap." "These Hunter/Killer groups are deadly" (Bombastic language)

" These Hunter/Killer groups are deadly against unwary targets, who expect the larger, slower VDTF ships to chew on." (Did you drop the end of this sentence or am I not understanding it correctly?)

"The bottom contains a launch bay that small craft is lowered into when ready to take off. the main body has 2 primary engine vents." (Should be small craft are lowered and capitalize The)

Designers: Black Sun Industries
Manufacturer: Black Sun Industries
Fielded by: Alliance Of The Black Sun
(Same changes as Talon necessitated here, which means switching it over to VDTF)

"One Crewmen" (No need to capitalize)

"This room containing one table" (I think contains would work better in this case)

 

[Edto Xar'Sivaree]

Edits made

Bonus edit. One Crewmen required should have been one crewman.

 

[Ametheliana]

Approved