This review is for:
Chelti 6 mm Armor-Piercing Tracer ammunition
The submitted article is/has…
[x] A very high level of overall quality
[/] A general topic sentence under the title header
[-] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[-] In the proper format/template
[x] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[x] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[/] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[-] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[x] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[-] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[-] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Status: This submission is in progress.
1. Get a one-sentence line under the main header, then dump the rest of that stuff in an “about” section.
2. Is this ammunition cased?
3. 2,200 m/s is LIGHTNING fast. Did you mean 2,200 feet per second? Or maybe 600 m/s?
4. The caliber is 6 mm; though caliber technically refers only to Imperial units, in firearms it applies to everything. You can specify that instead of going with the Imperial measurement.
5. When describing size, is the second number the case measurement?