Approved Character Christian Rivers

[Hishio kariko]

I'm sorry, but I was extremely confused upon coming to this site, for I have never seen one like this. I accidently made my character in the Wiki-Characters list, and I didn't know anything at the time. ^.^'

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... ian_rivers

As for coming here, I was told by a friend about this site. We were RP'ing at this location; http://www.chatzy.com/987804299100 when he told me.

 

[Nashoba]

Hi Hishio,

My name is Brian, aka Nashoba. I am one of the reviewers, and I will be going over your character.

First I fixed the player character link at the top of your page, and fixed your standard inventory.

As I just got in I will do more on the review later this evening.

Nashoba.

This character is under review.

 

[Nashoba]

Typo in Personality horrofic should be horrific

Okay, you go out of your way to say "but when angered, he cannot be trusted by anyone with a weapon in hand." but you later say "Christian hardly gets angry" So what then makes him angry enough that he becomes so dangerou?

So he's slightly claustrophobic.

History:
You say his parents are alive and Nepleslia, what are their names? Any siblings? Why was the family so poor, what kind of work did his father do, was he fired, etc? A bit more detail.

Typos
homocidal should be homicidal
irreversable should be irreversible
litteraly should be literally

Skills
Should have seven...

Entertainment
variaty should be variety

Please address these items.
This character is still pending approval.

 

[Hishio kariko]

Well, thanks for spotting the typos... ^.^' Would've never caught them.

 

[Teddo]

Typo in Personality horrofic should be horrific

A horrific typo!!!!!!!!! :lol:

In the character info box, Tauros should be Taurus. And it looks like you still have a misspelt horrific in his personality.

Good luck mate, hope to see ya in Acadia soon.

 

[Hishio kariko]

Well, thanks for spotting more typo's, Teddo. ^.^

I hope to be part of the Acadia soon.. =P

 

[Nashoba]

Okay, now you need to create your User page, and then apply for orders here.

Nepleslian Order Forum

This character is approved for IC usage