Approved Character Claire Winters

[Dragonnova]

Alright, I decided to make a character for Moonman's Cirrus Station plot.

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... re_winters

Go ahead and point out my mistakes. :/

(Sorry, haven't had my coffee this morning yet.)

 

[Gamerofthegame]

A few wiki formating fixes you have to do. Look into it. (Example: Rank, eyecolour, etc)

I would prefer more description in the appearances and what not, but oh well.

In some places it is frowned upon to have one's characters connect like that (IE: Being a friend of another PC) unless it's family, but oh well.

Personality doesn't really say much, but I despise trying to type it up with every fiber of my being so-oooo, don't worry about it.

History seems to just revolve around Amelia, which being that this ISN'T Amelia isn't grand~. Try to put in some other stuff, too.

(That said, I personally find it slightly odd someone traumatized by a shooting would join the military but again, oh well.)

Skills are fine... Although why do all the Nep Females seem to be slightly (at least) slutty? :lol:

Blah blah blah...

Blah...
Blah..

Hookay otherwise tis fine.

Not approved yet, as you can see. Go make some edits, then poast saying ya did so. Then I'll be about later.

 

[Dragonnova]

Alright fixed that.

Added a bit more, but I still need to expand on it. Will do after I go to the store for coffee.

Again, caffene deprived brain decided on that. Don't ask me why.

Added a couple things. Again, Ill get more in later.

I got rid of some of the references to her and added some more about Claire. It still needs work, but it's better than before.

It's claire. She's wierd like that.

Ask whoever started that trend? >.> (And hey, my first character isn't!)

Coffee...coffee...coffee...coffee.....

 

[Dragonnova]

(Sorry for the double post)

Alright. I expanded on the personality and added some more to her history. Hopefully it's looking better than the first draft now.

 

[Doshii Jun]

Looked it over. Very solid, as always. One small point -- how does she wear her hair to keep it out of the way? Does she just wear it loose, or in a bun, etc?

 

[Dragonnova]

Ah, good point. Ill fix that now.

EDIT: Alright. Got it. Hope that works.

 

[Gamerofthegame]

Really could use some facial features, but oh well.

... In that case...

Approved, you can do stuff IC, etc etc, same as last time you were here.

 

[Dragonnova]

Yeah but Im not quite sure what to say. (I suck at describing things...)