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(Component) Type 5 Fusion Reactor

Hey Farzi!

Welcome to SARP and thanks for contributing. :) I've skimmed all the submissions you have except for the one Andrew commented on and have some feedback for you before I can get into a full review:
  • Check the templates ( https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=templates ) and try to pick the one that's closest.
  • Make sure that the overall formatting is preserved. This makes it easy to browse the wiki and quickly find the information that you're looking for. It also (generally) ensures a certain level of depth for all of our content.
  • Make sure to add links to things found on the wiki the first time you mention them. 'Iron Company', 'Durandium', etc, are some example candidates. An easy way to do this is to open up that page, grab the part you need from the URL, and make a link.
    • For example, durandium is here: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=materials:durandium
    • You only need this part for a link to another page within the wiki: materials:durandium
    • So your link is this: [[materials:durandium]]
    • If you want to change the link text, you can do so like this: [[materials:durandium|Durandium Link Text Example]]
  • Weapons, materials, etc, of all types that aren't super common should be linked on the wiki somewhere. Basic materials, like tungsten and others, don't require links. If you're introducing a new weapon or technology that isn't found on the wiki already, it should generally get its own page (and corresponding submission). This is almost always true for weapons and their ammunition.
    • Additionally, weapons need to be placed into an appropriate 'weapon block' on their articles, like this:
    • Code: 
      ==== Weapons Systems ====
<NEW: ALL WEAPONS SHOULD BE POSTED AS SEPARATE ARTICLES!
  * [[Main Weapon]]: ##, DR X
  * [[Secondary Weapons]]: ##, DR X
  * [[Point Defense Weapons]]: ##, DR X
    • You can leave mentions of the weapon's damage tier, etc, out of the descriptive text in favor of this. On first mention of a weapon in an article, it should be linked. It should also be linked in this block, for ease of use.
  • Take a look at the 'Quality' section at the bottom of the page. You can click on it to see what issues it detects with the page - typically formatting issues, like missing text after a section header. The only quality issue you don't need to fix is 'single author', because that will be resolved during the approval process. :)
A minor feedback point that wouldn't affect your reviews is that many of your paragraphs are very long or dense, which makes it a little hard to follow. If you can break some of the large paragraphs into smaller ones, I think it would improve readability.

Although I haven't done a thorough dive on the articles, what I've seen looks neat. There's a lot of worldbuilding here - do you have any plans for it in the RP? It may be good to work with some Faction Managers in the #worldbuilding channel to see where all of this could fit so that it 'lives' in the setting properly and doesn't just collect dust. If you're planning a plot using these submissions, that's also a great place to sound out your ideas and generate interest.

If you have any specific questions or thoughts on the feedback points above, I'm happy to answer them here or on Discord. Thanks again for the submissions and I look forward to working with you to get them approved!
 
I'm not sure where I'm going with most of the equipment world building wise, mostly did this up for background information-though I may consider marketing this if I last long enough as cheap, high powered fusion plant for terrestrial vehicles.
 
Mr. Farzi,

I've noted you have several pending submissions that are interconnected. It is great a new player that you're enthusiastic, and willing to throw yourself to the critic and scrutiny we place on submissions to our setting. Your submissions are welcome of course, but they have a common thread. They lack wikification (other links to things in the setting), and show that some time is going to need to be invested on your part to learn the setting. I think that if you give some time to learn the SARPiverse these will become submissions with work that we can eventually integrate, but at this time I would like to notify you that they will be considered pending until you learn about our universe enough to meld these in. I encourage you, continue to take the time to get to know the lore, your fellow SARPers. Ask for help, come talk to one of our Staff members, consult the wiki on existing factions, and for our guides on making them. I would suggest making sure if you have not already to take some time to join an existing faction to learn more about the universe and expectations. We are all here to help you with your SARP journey!

Pending until submission guidelines are met.
 
Same as the other: The design is not problematic -


If you need a hand just let me know.

  • We also need an RP example, maybe do an RP that shows this and the other tech you're introducing?
 
Sent you a message on this and the other submissions. Going to get the group to step in and help you out with these articles to get them up to standard. For now, I will just put them on hold.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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