A few things in your main article,
The very top of the article should be a one or two-sentence explanation of exactly what it is. Then maybe find a way to combine that big long paragraph at the top into your "About" section. Maybe put the image down under "Appearance".
ie.
======Cordoba Combat Mecha======
The Cordoba Combat Mecha is a combat mech introduced by the [[corp:fscorp:fms]] in [[timeline:ye_45]].
=====History=====
For determining the proper international nomenclature for this, I'd need to know - How many mecha has the company produced prior to this one?
The Wikipedia links to the actual Wikipedia, should be formatted like this, here is one example you have several- [[wp>Pyrotechnic_fastener|explosive bolts]]
Tier 10, is the maximum DR I am willing to accept on the Recoiless Graviton Howitzer.
There appears to be a formatting problem in this paragraph:
Headings and bullet lists should be separated by text. You have several instances of this, here is one example:
You have:
Weapon Mechanisms
* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.
Try
Weapon Mechanisms
The weapon mechanisms are as follows:
* Firing Mechanism: The weapon is fired electrically by dumping massive amperage from the capacitors into the graviton projectors.
The ammo can be combined onto one ammo page, but it must fit the template.
The shield-bypassing weapon is not permitted, even if it was previously approved. Weapons that tunnel/bypass shielding like that were removed from the setting a few years ago. The weapon's description should be changed accordingly. Something like this would be really effective once a target's shields are down already.
Almost there! Keep up the good work, this is almost ready for approval.
Hi Rizzo,
Thank you for making the revisions and addressing the points raised. Here are some additional suggestions for improvement:
1. I'm glad you added the OOC Notes section, but I would recommend moving the credit for the AI art to that section as well. That way, all the out-of-character notes and information are consolidated in one place.
2. The nomenclature looks much better now, using the designation "YM2" to denote a product for sale to civilians. Just make sure to update the "YM2" designation wherever it is referenced throughout the article.
3. Regarding the Recoilless Graviton Howitzer, Tier 10 is the maximum Damage Rating (DR) I'm willing to accept for a Tier 8 mecha. However, the article states that the weapon tops out at Tier 11. Please adjust the maximum tier of the weapon to be in line with the limitations of the platform.
4. In the paragraph about the Cordoba's flexibility with weapon systems, there are a few formatting issues and missing links. Here's a revised version for clarity:
"Returning to FMS's tried and true design method, the Cordoba features a universal hand system that can automatically adjust to nearly any mecha-scaled handheld weapon system, including the entire lineup of Origin Industries frame accessories. This highly flexible system comes at the cost of usable forearm hardpoints. To maintain unrivaled multirole flexibility and utilize weapons developed for the Wahoo Interceptor, FMS developed a series of gunpods and shoulder pods capable of integrating various weapon systems into different configurations. These gunpods are also fully compatible with Ashigaru Weapon Systems and Origin Industries Starfighter accessories. The Cordoba's immensely strong arms, combined with the variable gunpods, make it a deadly multirole mecha."
5. Make sure to separate headings and bullet lists with text, as mentioned in my previous message.
6. While you can combine the ammo types onto a single ammo page, each type should still have its own section or subsection within the page to maintain clarity and organization. Please ensure that the combined page still follows the ammo template.
7. Regarding the shield-bypassing weapon, as you mentioned it was previously approved. However, if it is no longer permitted in the setting, please revise the description accordingly. You can explain that it would be effective once a target's shields are down, but not in bypassing or tunneling through shields.
Once you make these revisions, it should be ready for final approval. Keep up the good work, and let me know if you have any further questions or concerns.
