Approved Character Darnell Carlisle

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... le_darnell

Notes:
+I used the YE 31 standard issue. If this is incorrect and you copy and paste the old standard issue, don't forget to add his Science Kit again (since I assume he still gets that).
+I believe Nepleslia has areas as lawless as the one Darnell grew up in, but if not a good deal of changes will need to be made.
+I am not sure of his chances of successfully immigrating, but I believe he could do it.
+I am also not sure to what degree the SAoY would be willing to educate people to provide skills, or how much they would just recruit people with those skills. If they don't generally educate people, he could just revert to being a soldier.
+I believe Star Army Science still exists, if its been rendered obsolete fairly recently then that would explain why the pages aren't updated and his profession and skill set will change.
+I'm not sure if I put too much into the skills or not as far as what he can do.
+The page title is Japanese Order but the rest of the page is Western, mostly because I imagine that is the way Darnell would refer to himself.

Thanks for reviewing. I can has approvalz?

Hello Erus,
Welcome to the SARP, I am one of the reviewers so let's see what we can do to get you moving.

Overall a great job for a first try.

First, the formation of the Scientific Studies Service hasn't caused an exodus of scientists from the SAoY. It hasn't been around that long. And Star Army Personnel are allowed to take courses in the SSS via online. (I know because I created the SSS.)

Science is still a valid career path in the Star Army.

A minor typo in the Dislikes - himsef should be himself

History
Why did he choose to transfer to a Yamataian body? There is nothing wrong with it, but he could have served in the SAoY as a Nepleslian, so a brief explanation as to why he made the change would be nice.

Skills
Communications
in a few other languages (What other languages, if he speaks other languages you have to specify.)

slang and street terms for both languages Yamataian is a more formal language, not commonly used, so not likely to have street terms at this point.

Technology
He also knows how to get by electronic locks easily and without being traced. Even though you are talking about tech, this should be under the Rogue skill.

Sciences, all Star Army personnel go through career training. So there is no need to say "He was also put into a program designed to give soldiers the knowledge necessary to operate as Star Army Science personnel." A simplier way to say it would be along the lines of "During his training,

Inventory
Please update the character form using the following link

SAoY Standard Issue

The Type 31 Issue is not yet in service.

This character is not yet approved for IC usage.

Address the questions, and issues indicated, and when you are done, update this forum and I'll give it another look.

To avoid confusion in the future, I merged the applicable parts of the Type 31 page into the normal standard inventory page.

The main difference is we don't have art for the field uniform yet so the Star Army hasn't been issuing it to everybody.

Updated, I believe I addressed everything.

You missed one item.

Communications
in a few other languages (What other languages, if he speaks other languages you have to specify.)

Please specify what languages or remove this.

This character is pending approval after this remaining item is addressed.

Really? Thought I had done that, maybe I pressed the wrong button. Edited again.

Okay, you're good to go.

Now you need to make your User's page and apply for orders in this forum. Request for Orders

Welcome to the SARP. Enjoy.

This character is approved for IC usage.