Approved Submission (Drink) L&M Miracle Elixir

[Dumont]

Submission Type: Drink
Submission URL: Clicky

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? No, @Zack.
Faction requires art? No.

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:

I like the idea of player actions causing things to accidentally get invented. It's a brand of lemonade Truffleclub accidentally started a chain reaction towards invention when they made lemons and hung out with Dickensian street children.

 

[Doshii Jun]

I like it, but what is the actual drink? Is it made with fresh lemons and engine lube? Is it given no sweetener at all, or some level of sweetener?

A subhed with the description of "what this is" would be helpful here.

 

[Dumont]

It says it's an incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. It is made of water and lemon juice. I'm not sure how I'd fit that into a subheading.

 

[Ametheliana]

It says it's a little more than incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. What does that mean?

 

[Dumont]

Overly flowery language, I suppose?

Changed it to say it is an incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. Made from adding lemon juice to water.

 

[Doshii Jun]

I think it was the bit about the trade that confused me. I didn't understand where engine lube and artificial sweetener came in, but it makes sense now.

Cute submission. Go commerce! Approved.

 

[Dumont]

It was just what Truffleclub gave the kids in exchange for their help. Historical factoids and nothing else.

 

[Zack]

FM approval!

 

[Doshii Jun]

Sorry about that, Zack. Thank you for following up!