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Approved Submission (Drink) L&M Miracle Elixir

Dumont

Inactive Member
Submission Type: Drink
Submission URL: Clicky

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? No, @Zack.
Faction requires art? No.

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:

I like the idea of player actions causing things to accidentally get invented. It's a brand of lemonade Truffleclub accidentally started a chain reaction towards invention when they made lemons and hung out with Dickensian street children.
 
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I like it, but what is the actual drink? Is it made with fresh lemons and engine lube? Is it given no sweetener at all, or some level of sweetener?

A subhed with the description of "what this is" would be helpful here.
 
It says it's an incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. It is made of water and lemon juice. I'm not sure how I'd fit that into a subheading.
 
It says it's a little more than incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. What does that mean?
 
Overly flowery language, I suppose?

Changed it to say it is an incredibly sour, unsweetened lemonade. Made from adding lemon juice to water.
 
I think it was the bit about the trade that confused me. I didn't understand where engine lube and artificial sweetener came in, but it makes sense now.

Cute submission. Go commerce! Approved.
 
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