Approved Character Edtoto Nar'Sivaro

Well, I tried? I filled out everything I could. Do tell me if anything is wrong. I didn't know what to put into pre-RP so I just said that. If it was /Post/ RP however, I would have totally understood what it was for.

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:edtoto_nar_sivaro#skills

On hold, forgot to actually do the race writeup

I have been informed that this character can be approved as a One Off Character for the sake of roleplay. I do not fully understand the ground of this information and would like an elaboration on it. Is it true this character can be approved without the full race makeup being approved so long as the rest of the products that have not met the time/quality are used as more than a Passing mention?

According to Wes, who has the final word on setting, you are correct.

We had characters recently who set this precedent, so your character would fall under it.

Likewise, your race can continue to be RP'd in the Open RP forum, where it qualifies as "soft canon" on our canon rating system.

That system is explained here: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=guide:canon

Here's what I told Edto (posting here for everyone to see):

Wes said:

Well, open RP is "soft canon" that usually is intended to become "hard canon." Open RP is NOT noncanon (unless it has a thread prefix that says so) and anyone who says Open RP is non-canon is wrong. All of the new plots start in Open RP and then most of them migrate to subforums after their first mission. The intent is that you can play your character as (with the species therefore becoming soft canon since they appear in the RP) and then after 3 months the wiki for them will get approved (making the species hard canon). See How Canon Works in Star Army for details.

I also don't think this interferes with your character getting approved for any RP on the site. In other words, despite the species approval being on hold, you should still be able to take him anywhere the GM will approve him. Characters from "random" (e.g. not generally known) species can appear in SARP plots without issues. If you have any problems with this, you can message me and I'll come into the thread and say so. Note that you can't force a GM to accept a character (any character, not just one from a new species).?

Click to expand...

I've given the biography a formatting pass for you.

Are you sure you don't want to have her start with any items? They can be generic ones (e.g. "Energy pistol") if you're worried about tech/sourcing.

That's fine. Generic things to make roleplay easier, but nothing to specifc.

Just keep in mind that species/race approval is a privilege, not a right. I recommend looking into other races and their CCGs to get an understanding of the quality we seek.

Okay, I'm going to try to keep this to mostly things involving this character appearing in the Heartbreaker plot for a cameo, to get you settled in the Star Army universe, and not the race as a whole. But there are few things I do need clarified about the alien race, just to be sure.

• Set up a player page for yourself, that's where the red link at the very top of the page should be going. That page should just have a link to all of your characters, maybe your race, station, other wiki articles you've done, etc.
• There seems to be very few of her race left at the moment, and you make multiple mentions of them being very genetically similar or identical. Are they being cloned to keep up the population? Or do they breed in some sort of asexual way that lets them basically copy themselves?
• You mention being able to detect subtle differences in tone to help with communication and interaction. I do see some of this stuff mentioned on the race page. But then you have a note that she can detect body heat and use it as a lie detector or something? I don't see any further explanation of that. If you want to give me a bit more info there, it would help. Also, please make a note that these abilities would work well on her own race, but would not be a certain thing on other races, due to physical, cultural, mental differences, etc. So she could definitely try, and if she's hung out with friendly aliens for a while she'd probably be good at it, but it shouldn't just be a magical ability.
• Most characters usually start with seven skills, so you can definitely expand there a bit. You also need to write descriptions for the skills. You can copy/paste and edit them to fit your character's specializations.
• You should have some basic belongings. If you want to keep them generic for now, that's fine, but you might want to list...blaster, scanner, cold weather clothing, space suit, etc. I know you are also planning to have some sort of small one person spacecraft, you should list that as well.

The content seems mostly fine, I just need some things clarified and a few small improvements made. Hopefully you can join us soon, thanks!

I was going for kinda the Cheeta thing at this point all Cheetas are genetically identical. There Gene pool has just collapsed so much as now there isn't an entire planet of clans, but only really three now. They've been diluted. Not a large enough mix of genes to go around anymore.

She, like all Vekimen can see the Infrared Spectrum which is the spectrum used by Infrared and Nightvision Cameras. Being subterranean they had to be able to locate hotspots and still see in the low light. Most bodies are within the temperature range to emit infrared.

She, like other Vekimen can differentiate sound frequencies 5hrz apart. This is an immense amount of accuracy. Once she has had time to learn about people and aliens etc, she will be able to gradually clue in on these slight differences. Oh, his voice seemed to tighten up a little right there. Oh, her body temperature is changing for some strange reason. If someone was a seasoned lier, or could lie without changes in these two aspects then she wouldn't be able to tell. I simply mention it because it is something she can do and something I may use in the future so I want to make it known that she can do this. At the same time, please note I use the term "See" kind of loosely. I will be elaborating on that further, not to worry.

I will work on the skills yes.

To be honest, other than the ship and the utter bare nessessitis IDK what she would own. So far I have given her a pilot interface suit to help her better link to the ship, an EVA capable suit that can go over top of that and act as emergency combat armour in a pinch, and a pistol. It probably won't get much more fancy then that, but I will mark it on the Character sheet.

Okay, I understand the genetics a bit more, now. Seems like something that will be explored more in the future.

For the vision, just make sure to make a note of it on the sheet, so people will be aware. And that sounds fine for her abilities, just make it clear that it's something that's possible with time and effort, not an instant solution for every conversation.

The list of items seems fine to me for now. You might just want to list if the ship has any weapons and if it is local system only, FTL or what. All of this is just to make sure you don't pull out a nuke or magic sword, you know how it is...

Looks like this is coming along nicely.

I'll get a post up later today once I have a moment, got a couple of things.

Sorry about the delay, got a bit busy yesterday. So.

First off, is the age in standard years like Nepleslia or Yamatai use? A lot of the other races have their own, separate calendars. This is just for clarification.

The measurements don't really work with the rest of the physical description, to be honest. This is a good site to help you visualize, but long story short, the measurements you have listed would make her short and stout, not lithe.

The last line of the build feels more like it belongs in the facial features. Unless you mean to imply mouths with teeth elsewhere. Second to last line belongs more in hair than build. On the teeth, the adjective "wildly" doesn't really feel like the best way to describe it, maybe use something else, razor sharp... maybe needle sharp?

This portion of the personality and the second paragraph fit more in skills than they do personality. They're what she's capable of, not who she is.

On the history, it's a bit short. For someone apparently this high in rank, with this kind of background, we should know a fair bit more about the character's past. The biggest one, would be how exactly the character ended up in our space, and what led up to that? Falling out with someone on a ship, left stranded in a shuttle? Give us some idea of what led the character to this point, what made them the person they are.

For the skills, they don't really fit into our skill categories as it stands. We might be moving away from the system going ahead, but as it stands right now, your character doesn't really fit the bill for any of the standard skill lists, so it needs to fit the categories.

For the inventory, no personal items? Doesn't have anything like a book, a journal, a family memento? Only owns the single outfit, nothing else? With the armor, is that something along the lines of body armor, or is it more like our setting's power armor? In either case, I'd recommend writing it up, since we have existing articles for both.

I don't have a problem with most of those suggestions, really. I have already pointed out the problem with the Skills section privately in a PM, and they are working on it. I believe the history and personal effects are being kept simple for the moment, due to any more detail requiring setting submissions for a race and related locations and technology to be submitted and approved, which they are not yet allowed to do.

But, this is a character applying to appear in my plot, and that has already been okayed by Wes. Is there a particular reason why you are looking over a character for my plot?

Because I'm allowed to look over any character? Character mods aren't just allowed to review characters in general, we can take part in reviews on any character.

This character is now APPROVED for a cameo on the Heartbreaker. If there are no further problems, this can be moved to the Approved area @Wes.

Moved.

This character is still waiting on the requested changes, is it not?

More information has been shared with Wes and myself in messages, and enough of the character page was updated and improved for me to be satisfied that Edtoto is ready to appear in my plot.

In the future, please make a post when changes are made, so that moderators and others will know that changes 'had' been done.

It... wasn't you that had problems with the submission in the first place. I had concerns, and aside from the skills (which Edto discussed with me on the IRC), nothing has been addressed, and the thread has never been replied to, which has always been the policy. You have to both update the thread and the character to reflect responses. At the very least, the history and personality still need to be updated, for the reasons I already stated.

You had concerns and suggestions, and they were taken into consideration. Several of the things you pointed out were worked on. I contacted both Ed and Wes in PMs to discuss some aspects of this. I can't control if they want to post in this thread or not, though. The character page got to where I wanted to see it, and it meets my approval. Every single wiki article and thread I can find about the approval process only says the character needs to be approved by the GM of the plot and/or the Faction Manager. Both of those have already signed off on this.