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Approved Submission [ERSETU] Lively class 6th Rate Frigate

Gunsight1

Gunsight1

Potato Salad
Inactive Member
Here we go! The first Ersetu ship and technology submission!

fetch.php


Submission Type: Star ship and associated technology
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:ships:warships:lively_class_frigate
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:ersetian_space_sails
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:ftl_propulsion
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_spq-5
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_sps-11
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_sgs-3
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_ssq-5
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_slr-6
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_slr-15
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_sas-3
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_ses-12
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_ses-12
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_spg_seg-2
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_slq-7
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_slq-8
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_src-11_a
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_sec-4
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:technology:sensors:ersetu_svc-1
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:10_inch_laser_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:10_inch_laser_shell
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:10_inch_ion_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:10_inch_ion_shell

Faction: Constitutional Dominion of Ersetu
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When) Yes, now
Faction requires art? (Yes/No) No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No) Yes, listed above
Contains New art? (Yes/No) Yes
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected) No

Notes:
tags for @Ametheliana
 
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Let's get this knocked out! Main page:

variety if needs for the Royal Navy (Of not if)

and electronics suit (Suite)

longboat andand second launch. (delete reduncancy)

aboard cargo And has (lowercase and)

ships holds. (Should be ship’s)

Designer and manufacturer: The Royal Navy if Ersetu (Of not if)

Obsurvation dome (Observation)

Captains needs apostrophe

forward sensors (F needs capitalization)

Ships internal systems (Ship’s with an apostrophe)

The ships primary form (Ship’s needs an apostrophe)

its self (Is just one word, itself)

The ships mounts (I think this needs to just be ship, singular)

in the Royal Navy if Ersetu

of the ships skin (Ship’s with an apostrophe)

the ships engineering (Ship’s with an apostrophe)

What sort of “thick armor plating”? What material? You say later “composite battle armor” but does it have a name?

I did DR here!
 
So everything on the main page looks great!

After a cursory glance at the subarticles, you'll need to add a line to the top of the articles underneath the title and between the first header.

I'll read them when you make the changes.
 
Ersetu Faster than Light Propulsion:
distortions around it's ship, allowing (Its not it's)
Jumpgates are linked in this but you don't have them up for approval. Should I look into approving them, too, or do you want to unlink them?
after a few days travel time. (Should be days' with an apostrophe)

Ersetu SES-12 LIDAR sensor:
mounted to the the hull of a (One the only)

Ersetu SPG/SEG-2 Integrated subspace radar/LIDAR fire control sensor & Ersetu SRC-11/A Long range subspace radio array (Capitalize beginning of all words besides small ones in a title header)

Here is an example of a jamming system that I think you can emulate. The Subspace Radar Jamming Array is one article that definitely needs more to give RPers a sense of what it can and can't do.

This (8) and this (7) are the same things, just different numbers.

Ersetu SEC-4 Direct Laser Communication System:
targtted (Should be targeted)

The weapons need to use this template. I'll review them and their ammo once they're in the template.
 
Okay, got to some of this stuff tonight. Some will have to wait for tomorrow after work :o

Fixed FTL, SPG/SEG-2, SRC-11/A, SEC-4.

Other than not having the art for it yet, I think yeah the jump gate one could roll if you want to add it to the mountain? :3

----

I'm not sure what you mean by (One the Only) on the SES-12

SLQ-8 is a radio communications jammer, while the SLQ-7 is a radar jammer. They are different thingies :3

Thank you for posting the sensor jammer example for improvement, I'll dig into that tomorrow :D

Will get to reformatting the weapons and ammunition pages tomorrow.

Cheers! :D
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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