What's new
Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 December 2024 is YE 46.9 in the RP.

Approved Character First character - Oshi Masazaku

R

Ryke

Inactive Member
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... i_masazaku

Can't get the portrait to show up right, and because I'm horribly inept at names, I couldn't be assed to come up with names for the rest of his family, which I don't think is particularly important. I think the rest should be okay, might even be a bit too much. <_< I haven't looked at the setting in-depth, however, so it's possible that something doesn't match with SA reality.

I assumed the starting rank for UOCPF characters is Recruit, but that's not explicitly stated anywhere I could find.
 
Pretty good first try. Here is my first pass at reviewing this.

Yes, Recruit is the first rank for the Peacekeepers

It is listed on the rank page "Usually a rank possessed by those who've just enlisted into service"

History
As for the family thing, I would prefer to at a minimum, know the status of the family, eg, Mother, Father, are they alive, dead? Siblings, they help to give an idea of where the character came from.

Skills General comment
Please review the following Peacekeeper skills. And update the requisite skills accordingly.

Typos
Technical Operation
specialise > specialize
unspecialised > unspecialized

Fighting
armour > armor

Language
Nepleslian is normally the more commonly used language, could you explain why he's not as fluent?


Finances
UOC starting pay is 2000 HS not 3000 KS, Yamatai uses KS.
Also text makes mention of She receives

Please address the above items. And then post that you have done so.
This character is not yet approved for IC usage.
 
Nashoba said:
Pretty good first try. Here is my first pass at reviewing this.

Yes, Recruit is the first rank for the Peacekeepers

It is listed on the rank page "Usually a rank possessed by those who've just enlisted into service"

History
As for the family thing, I would prefer to at a minimum, know the status of the family, eg, Mother, Father, are they alive, dead? Siblings, they help to give an idea of where the character came from.

Skills General comment
Please review the following Peacekeeper skills. And update the requisite skills accordingly.

Typos
Technical Operation
specialise > specialize
unspecialised > unspecialized

Fighting
armour > armor

Language
Nepleslian is normally the more commonly used language, could you explain why he's not as fluent?


Finances
UOC starting pay is 2000 HS not 3000 KS, Yamatai uses KS.
Also text makes mention of She receives

Please address the above items. And then post that you have done so.
This character is not yet approved for IC usage.
Click to expand...
All the typos are actually British/Commonwealth spelling D= It's not really a problem to write them differently, though.

I'll probably edit in most of the changes tomorrow, including the family.

The skills, though, seems like all the required skills are there. Is the problem with the description? I know in making the descriptions more personal I left out some of the specific things Peacekeeper training involves.

For language, I just didn't know that was the case, and I can't find much on the wiki. If both languages are spoken fairly commonly by Yamataians and Jiyuuians, I suppose he'd be as fluent in both.

The only actual edit I've done right now is the "she" in the finances section, and fixed the number and currency. Rest is most likely happening tomorrow, as it's getting really late/excessively early here.
 
The issue with the Skills was just that, for the "prerequiste" skills the depth of description does not match what the training would provide. The details help the GM and other players have a good grasp of just what your character can and can not do.

Nashoba
 
Should all be okay now. Not totally certain the skill descriptions are fine, but they're definitely better than they were. Added basic info on his family.

Questions, though. I can't find what the difference is between HS and KS? Are they equivalent? The wiki doesn't seem to have direct HS -> KS exchange rates, though I think I remember seeing that they were equivalent relative to another currency... which would make them equivalent to each other, logically, but just checking.

Also, I still can't get the portrait to actually display it's probably pretty basic, but uh, how do I do it? <__<
 
1 HS = 1 KS, luckily.
 
When you edit a wikipage, there's a little icon that looks like a mini framed picture, click that, and it brings up the picture menu where you can upload the picture, once that's done, set the cursor on the wikipage where you want the picture, and click on the picture in the photo uploader.
 
kai said:
When you edit a wikipage, there's a little icon that looks like a mini framed picture, click that, and it brings up the picture menu where you can upload the picture, once that's done, set the cursor on the wikipage where you want the picture, and click on the picture in the photo uploader.
Click to expand...

Thanks, that's easy enough.
 
Things look okay with the character now. He's basically a non-motivated, person who strives for mediocracy. :)

Please create your user page, from the red link in your character page. And then request orders for your character here.

UOCPF REQUESTS FOR ORDERS

Okay, once again welcoem to the SARP.

This character is approved for IC usage.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top