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Rejected Character Gahcha, Null

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I moved the page into the character: namespace.

Let me know when you get the skill areas added.
 
I've read up on the skills mind. But I was curious as to a 'Heavy Trooper' neko. Sort of like big guns are the best, putting enemies to the test. Yadayadayah
 
Hmmm, a few problems with this;

Her history is rather bare, could you add a bit more to it please? Something that can help generate RP and conversation during times of socializing.

Second of all, her height needs to be fixed. The NH-33A maxes out at 5'11“, as according to its species page.
 
Two things, just right off the bat. One, why is she that bloody tall, when the listed maximum for an NH-33a neko is 5'11"?

And two, how in the bloody hell are you going to say she's "curvy" when she weighs 135lbs at 6'10"? For perspective, the average female weight, going off of humans, is 100lbs at about 5', with another 5 pounds per inch of height. Keep in mind the average weights listed for Nekos are based off of the fact that most are rather slim.

edit: and one more, since Kyle apparently jacked one of mine. The Heavy Weapons Training would be a subset of Fighting, not a separate skill. See Kumiko's Maintenance and Repair for an example.
 
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From my understanding, it's only the default for standard Neko produced by the Star Army. If a Neko like this were to ever occur, it would be due to the fact that a human woman who was originally that tall had herself converted/transfered into an NH model. The physical characteristics would be kept the same, but with the rest of the Neko specs.

Even then, you may want to reconsider - the power armor used by the Star Army has pilot height restrictions. I'm not sure how they deal with pilots who are too tall for the standard suits.
 
Another perspective. I'm 5'2" and 130lbs. You can see my user page for what that looks like.

I agree with Cadet as well. Subtle racism is prevalent in the SAOY that restricts taller species from being... entirely equitably served. Nekos are made like cookies. With molds. If you are abnormal, especially if your character is made by the SAOY, then it means someone done goofed.

The Truth
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What is The Truth? It ain't what you think it is, Mulder. It never is.

NMX, any enemy of Yamatai
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And so how does this figure into the mercurial relations that Yamatai has with everyone else? Are the Lorath enemies to be hated, attacked and raped to death due to previous border skirmishes? What about the Elysians, who waged war with Yamatai? Or the sabre-rattling Nepleslians? Or the Iroma who are currently involved in a border skirmish with Yamatai?

If you're going to use broad, sweeping generalizations and vagaries, at least explain it further in the personality section as to what constitutes these terms.

serve the common interests of Yamatai
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What are those? At least in the opinion of your character.

If you had made her a NH-31 and applied to any other faction, there'd be no problem.
 
Even at 5'10", 135 would be incredibly slim. There's almost no space for muscles, let alone a "curvy" body type at that weight and height.

And seriously, don't give up. Nothing's been mentioned that can't be fixed pretty easily, it's just a matter of editing.
 
It's alright to stumble a bit on minor details on your first character. I'm pretty sure we've all done that. Don't be discouraged by the big posts pointing things out, just give it some more thought.

Or better yet, take what few edits you need and throw her into an Open RP plot where you don't need to have approved characters. Figure out her reasoning behind the personality by interacting a bit. It's what it's there for.
 
@Eisenhorn - they're right, don't stop now. We're not trying to put you down or anything like that, rather, make sure you create a good character that you'll enjoy for a long time. For now, you can even put the vast bulk of the commentary on hold and instead just focus on her personality. It's probably the most important part, and right now, the bulk of it is rather vague and doesn't tell very much about her at all.

The big question is, what kind of person do you want to roleplay as?

Do you want her to be "Easy going and easy to get along with," or is it something else that you're after?
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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