Zack
Inactive Member
Cheesy music started to play from speakers all over the studio. The stadium seating formed a semi-circle around the colorful platform in the center of the room that all the cameras were trained upon. Of course the other half of the studio was blocked off by sparkling curtains. A deep voice them came on over the speakers…
“WELCOME TO ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF NEPLESLIAN FIGHTING PEOPLE!”
A small screen near the ceiling lit up, informing everyone in the audience that it was time to clap and cheer.
“AND NOW EVERYONE’S FAVORITE HOST….. THAT GUY!”
Just as the name, ‘that guy’ was said a man in his early thirties ran out from behind the shiny curtains and held his arms up in the air. He was dressed in a dark purple zoot suit over a bright red shirt adorned with all sorts of gold and silver chains that connected numerous loops on his pants. A big, purple, hat covered his face for the few moments before he looked up at the camera, showing his brown eyes, brown hair, brown face, and ridiculously big game show host smile.
The host looked up at the audience, waving and blowing kisses into the crowd. “HELLLLLOOOOO NEPLESLIA!!!!” He shouted out before spinning around and making a grandiose gesture, pointing to someone in the crowd, BIFF VANDERHUGE COME ON DOWN!”
A tremendous roar of triumph blew out of the stands as a large, exceptionally muscular ID-SOL practically barreled his way down the from the cheap seats and onto the stage. With his bald noggin shining brightly in the stage lights, the ID-SOL turned to the crowd and flexed his muscles in grandure. "I'M HUGE! VANDERHUGE! YEEEEAAAHH!!"
"WELCOME BIFF!" That guy shouted as Vanderhuge came down to the stage. "Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself. Where do you come from? Why are you here? And what is your favorite band member from Aethersperm?!"
Vanderhuge didn't turn to meet That Guy's questions, too focused on showing off his body to the massive cheering crowd and floating vid-cam sets. Each time he answered a question, Biff would quickly snap into a newer, more impressive set of bulging muscular flexes. "I'm from FUNKY CITY, yeah! I'm here to WIN IT ALL, yeah! And I love that Double-D...her tits are almost as huge as my HUGE GUNS, YEAH!"
“Well Biff. I hope your bark is as good as your bite because you are about to meet your opponent.” That guy spun around again, pointing to someone else in the audience and shouting, “MILES SWANSON COME ON DOWN!” Naturally the crowd roared loudly for the contestant.
"WOOOO! YEAH!" Came yelling from a slightly chubby, almost fit, late 20's Nepleslian. He tossed his large soda behind him, splashing whatever unlucky soul behind him with ice cold, high concentration alcoholic soda. He ran down the steps, his arms in the air as he ran on stage, jumping up and down.
"ALRIGHT MILES!" That guy shouted, "I have to ask you the same questions, Where do you come from, why are you here, and What is your favorite Aethersperm Band member besides Double D!?!?"
Miles laughed to the crowd, screaming a bit more and waving his arms in the air. He spun to That Guy, answering. "Well, the good old nasty Funky City of course! I'm here to kick some ass, and Rocketass is my favorite! His riffs are out of CONTROOOOOL!" He emphasized his last word by playing his very own air guitar wildly.
“AWESOME!” That Guy shouted as he played Air-bass to accompany the Air-Guitar. The soundboard technicians played some generic guitar music to go along with the songs they weren’t playing. That Guy then pointed to another person in the stands, “ANTHONY WEEDSEED COME ON DOWN!”
The crowd then gasped, Three people being called down at once was unheard of!
A big, polo-shirted young man with a rather wild pair of side-burns stumbled down the steps, continually looking back confusedly at a pair of stage-hands urging him towards the stage. He stumbled up towards That Guy and squinted out at the audience, eyes bright red and pupils dilated. "Yo," Anthony managed to half-mutter.
"ALRIGHT. YOU HAVE JUST WON A CHANCE TO WIN A FABULOUS SUPER BONUS MYSTERY PRIZE!" That guy shouted to Anthony as he came down. "But first, our fabulous stage girls will be preparing our other contestants for their match!" That guy spun, his zoot suit flailing out a little before he stopped and pointed at the curtains. six women barely clothed in sparkly silver bikinis ran out and pulled Biff and Miles back behind the curtain into separate areas. As soon as they were off stage the girls began to hurriedly undress the two men, putting numerous pieces of mesh clothing on Miles including stockings and a steel mesh T-shirt. "Now Anthony, Let me explain the game to you. If Miles wins, you get to pick a fabulous SUPER BONUS MYSTERY PRIZE!" The crowd then cheered. "Now to help him out you get THIS!" That guy pulled a small remote control out of his pocket. On it were three HUGE red buttons. "NOW, don't press these until the match starts! You can press each button twice before it goes inert, once you use up all your buttons MILES IS ON HIS OWN AGAINST BIFF!!!"
"YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, TINY BOY! THE VANDERHUGE TAKES NO PRIS'NORS!" Biff yelled at the top of his lungs at his future opponent as the stage girls quickly readied him for the match.
Anthony sauntered over to That Guy, regarding the remote with a rather suspicious look. He reached out for the remote and quickly shot a hand out to grab it, his gaze transferred to That Guy. "Okay... Sounds like fun."
"Whatever!" Miles yelled back as he tossed Biff a few birds. Miles laughed to himself as the girls got him ready, he ever growled sultrily at a few of them.
The girls brought Miles back out onto the stage and had him stand on a red circle. Miles was dressed in a weird mesh outfit that most of the planet would have been able to recognize. “HOW ARE YOU FEELING MILES!!!” That guy yelled out, “As you can see he has been dressed as his favorite AETHERSPERM! Band member!”
The crowd cheered again.
“AND THE GIRLS ARE NOW BRINGING OUT HIS WEAPON!” That guy shouted once more as the girls came out with a giant inflated guitar. “TELL US HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GOING UP AGAINST BIFF VANDERHUGE!?!?”
Miles face flushed a little as he was handed his weapon. He stuttered slightly "U-ummm..." He coughed to himself then they up some horns as he yelled to the crowd. "I'M GONNA ROCK HIS WORLD!" He grabbed the guitar and strummed across it as he screamed out some lyrics to the crowd.
"YES! I bet Biff has a few words to say to that!" That guy said as guitar music was again played while Miles strummed his fake guitar. The girls then pulled Biff out from behind the curtains. If he was nude the audience wouldn't know as volumetrically projected black lines were across his hips and chest. He was placed on a circle opposite of Miles and given a giant fake inflated guitar to hold. "BIFF! Are you going to let Miles get away with rocking your world?"
"AND I'M GUNNA RAWK YER FACE, TINY MAN!" Another boisterous yell erupted from the ID-SOLs mouth. Apparently, he had little shame in his appearance. This became even more relevant when Biff pumped his hands over the enormous fake breasts that had been placed under the holographic black bars. "THE VANDERHUGE IS NOW VANDERHUGER! YER DEAD, OLD-SCHOOL STYLE, MAH BOOOIIII!"
"FRIGHTENING! I know I wouldn't want to be fighting Biff right now!" That guy shouted towards the crowd before spinning towards the contestants. "Alright, this is a simple game. Just don't fall off your platforms! The first person to fall off twice looses!" That guy said.
Biff just cracked his absurdly large knuckles, grinning a bald-faced grin with malicious glee at his smaller, runtier opponent.
Miles stuck his tongue out at Biff, pointing his inflated guitar.
“BEGIN!” That guy shouted as the floor opened up and the circles that both contestants were on raised up six feet. A ten foot long platform only three feet wide deployed to connect the two contestant’s circles and the buttons on the remote lit up.
Of course all of this was padded, and numerous odd machines could be seen moving into place above the platforms
Miles lost a bit of balance from surprise as the platform raised up, but he quickly recovered, stepping out a few feet out on the bridge, holding his guitar out like a spear.
"COME'ERE PUNY BOY, IMMA RIP AND TEAR YER GUTS! HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN!!" Biff roared in anticipation as he lumbered gingerly down the thin platform, hands open ready to grasp.
Anthony cocked an eyebrow at the strange activity occurring around him. Weedseed shot a look to That Guy, and clicked the top-most button on the remote, giving a silent hope that his prize would be pot money.
"WARNING! TEEN AGED FANS!" Speakers blared out once Anthony pressed the button. For a few moments nothing happened and then out of no where a nude, female, blow up doll was shot out of a cannon towards the platforms, sailing in between Biff and Miles. There was a loud FWATHUMP! as another was shot out and sailed harmlessly behind Biff, missing him by a few inches before doors above the platforms opened up and inflatable love dolls rained down on the two contestants!
Miles yelped and crouched as he batted the dolls off of him, taking a step back.
The inflated figures did little to sway the imposing fortitude of Vanderhuge's advance. Biff simply continued to steadily lumber down the platform, haphazardly grabbing one stray doll to his left, gripping it with two massive hands, and popping it with a resounding fizzle of air.
The crowd gasped!
"IT LOOKS LIKE LOVE DOLLS CAN'T STOP THE BIFF!" That guy shouted out.
"Hey! Tits!" Exclaimed Anthony with pleasant surprise. He then punched the middle button, just for fun.
Miles stood back up and stepped closer to Biff, test swinging the guitar menacingly with a scowl on his face.
Techno music started to play in the background and a three story tall balloon Moe 17 rolled out from behind the curtains, just barely fitting into the studio. The speakers then blared out, "DRUM SOLO!!!!" As the arms of the giant Moe 17 began to move, pounding the sides of the platforms the two were standing on and causing them to shake. Meanwhile flashing, multi-colored strobe lights and colorful laser beams began to go on and off all around the stage.
Biff, surprised by the sudden appearance of the robot-shaped balloon. "HUH WHU WHU WOOO-!" The Vanderhuge blabbered as he started to wobble slightly on the platform, throwing his arms in wide circles in a nearly comical fashion to retain his balance.
Miles stumbled forwards slightly as the platforms shook from the pounding giant Moe 17. He stood as steadily as he could and swung his guitar at Biff's legs, having to lean and reach slightly to get close enough.
Biff took a few swings with his massive fist in Miles' direction, warning him to back off until the rumbling earthquake-inducing drum solo was over.
"IT LOOKS LIKE BIFF IS IN TROUBLE!!!" That guy shouted out. "WILL HE BE ABLE TO STEADY HIMSELF!?"
Miles kept himself low, and scooting back as Biff swung, swinging at Biff's legs and crotch, hoping his arms plus the guitar had a longer reach than Biff's arms alone.
Biff, arms waving and false hooters wobbling profusely, finally regained his hefty balance by crouching ever so slightly to touch the platform below him with two bracing hands. He looked back at Miles, eyes and bald shining venomously.
Anthony steadied his eyes on the progress of the fight. He then gave a look down back at the remote, hovering his thumb over the third button. Weedseed stopped his thumb for a moment, as if to think about it, he pulled his thumb back. "I'mma press this buttan." he pressed it with his index finger instead.
And just like that, Biff's bars disappeared entirely.
The crowd gasped!
...and a few of them whistled a couple cat-calls.
Miles quickly stood up and threw a kick straight up at the crouching Biff's face, un-phased by the surprise nudity.
Miles wasn't expecting his kick to be so easily repelled as it was. He spun around, his arms waving as he tried to recover. His foot caught on a love doll that had straddled to bridge, he slipped off, grappling with the doll as he plummeted off, Miles being on top as he hit the ground, the doll popping under him.
Biff Vanderhuge, his huge Vanderhuge self still crouching, lifted an enormous hand to catch Mile's kick, pushing back as it connected with hopes of throwing him off of the platform.
Seeing an opportunity, Anthony revved back the hand that the remote was in, moving in the form similar to a pitcher. With blazing speed, the remote sped toward Biff, it's flight path: Biff's nuts.
"OOOOH! WHAT A SUPRISE!" That Guy shouted as all three buttons were triggered upon impact to Biff’s scrotum. Love dolls started flying threw the air and the giant Moe 17 came out, playing out a crazy beat as lasers and strobes started turning on and off all over the stadium. At the same time the black bars on Biff turned on and off and started flying around the stadium while switching colors and shapes until Biff had a volumetrically projected animal head with a long trunk covering his hips.
Weedseed's aim was surprisingly true. With a resounding *thunk*, the solid piece of technology planted itself firmly onto Biff's television-censored groin quarters. Biff's eyes bulged out as his hands shot to the offending area, his face turning red and his breath spitting outward from his gaping maw in a loud, painful moan. The Vanderhuge grew rigid, swayed a little, then plummeted to the stage floor.
"A DOUBLE KNOCKOFF!" That guy shouted out, "AMAZING! Who will win the next round or will they both get knocked off again!"
Miles grinned down at the popped doll he landed on. "Was it good for you too?" He rolled off and slowly stood up, brushing his netted clothing off as he sauntered around slightly, waiting for what to do next.
"Go ahead and climb back onto the platform both of you!" That guy said.
"Can I have my toy back?" Anthony asked That guy.
Miles sighed and quickly climbed back up to his platform, guitarless this time.
"OF COURSE!" That guy shouted, "Girls, Bring him his toy!" With that, one of the bikini clad babes backstage rushed out and picked up the remote, bringing it over to Anthony before returning backstage.
Grabbing the remote, Anthony grasped it with his thumb landing on the first button, again.
After a few moments, Biff rose from the sunken crater his fall had made in the matted area below the platforms. His face was in a scowl, throwing dirty looks and growls at Anthony as he limped his way back up to his platform.
Unfortunately nothing happened, as the buttons had all been pressed twice by both him, and by the impact with Biff.
"damn it, I need a reload." commented Anthony.
Just as he said that, the remote broke into two pieces, revealing a final button with BONUS written on it.
Miles got atop his platform, striding out about a third of the way, scowling as he waited for Biff.
Biff didn't waste any time: He started rumbling down the walkway yet again, looking two times as meaner as before. "YER DEAD NOW, KIDDY BOY! NO BUTTANS FOR YER BUDDY TO PLAY WITH!"
"Ooooh, what's this..." Anthony happily landed his middle finger of the hand opposite the one holding the remote, on to the 'bonus button'.
Miles growled a "Screw it" to himself and stomped down the bridge towards Biff, intent on ending the challenge either way.
Suddenly, the platform's retracted, bringing Biff and Miles directly next to each other while Sirens went off and red lights flashed, "BONUS!" Shouted someone over the speakers, "OH NO! THIS IS GOING TO END BADLY FOR SOMEONE!" That guy shouted.
"OOOOH BUDDY, IMMA KNOCK YER LIGHTS OUT!" Biff shouted with malicious glee as he watched the smaller Nepleslian advance his way as well. "IMMA CLEAN YO CLOCK, WIPE YER WINDOWS, FIX YER DOG AND SLAP YO GRANNY!"
Miles stood still next to Biff for a second as the retracting platforms brought them together. "Fuck it." Miles threw a headbutt at the ID-SOL probably only reaching his breastbone.
Anthony was enjoying himself as the chaos ensued in front of him, though he came to realize something. "Hey, can all the buttons be pressed twice?" he asked That Guy.
"OF COURSE!" That guy shouted out.
Still looking at the guy, with a now malicious grin on his face, Anthony pressed the button again.
"SUPER DOUBLE BONUS!" The speakers blared out as the girls came running out of the backstage area with a big pink wig, trashcan, and series of belts. Soon, Anthony was enveloped in women as they began changing his clothing.
"Hubbawha?" Biff swung a loose-jawed look at Anthony while Miles attempted his headbutt. The massive ID-SOL didn't budge an inch...it was as if nothing had hit him at all. Biff didn't even seem to notice, as he attention was on the third contestant on the side.
In moments, Anthony was wearing a metal trashcan around his waist, had on a helmit with a huge pink wig, and was being pulled into the air by wires and swung towards the two men on the platform as music played, the lyrics being entirely, "SUPER DOUBLE BONUS!"
Miles bounced off Biff, the force Reflected back into his own head. "Oh geez..." He started to lean backwards dizzily, and reached out, grabbing at Biffs belt, trying feebly to keep himself up.
"Whabbuhuh?" The Vanderhuge could only stare agape as the garbage-clad Nepleslian flew at him.
"Weeeee!" Anthony he swung his trashcan clothing around, trying to get a swing to where he might hit the two harder than what the wires would allow.
The cameras focused in on That Guy, "WOW! THAT WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLE ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Tune in next show to see it for yourself!"
The screen then cut off to several Aethersperm concert commercials (This Saturday at Los Apagos Arena, 8 PM!), an Anti-Matter O’s advert (New flavor: I Vanted Oh-Range!), two Green war propaganda announcements (See Red, shoot’em Dead) and one phone-sex hotline number (1-800-F-R-E-E-B-A-L-L-I-N).
“WELCOME TO ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF NEPLESLIAN FIGHTING PEOPLE!”
A small screen near the ceiling lit up, informing everyone in the audience that it was time to clap and cheer.
“AND NOW EVERYONE’S FAVORITE HOST….. THAT GUY!”
Just as the name, ‘that guy’ was said a man in his early thirties ran out from behind the shiny curtains and held his arms up in the air. He was dressed in a dark purple zoot suit over a bright red shirt adorned with all sorts of gold and silver chains that connected numerous loops on his pants. A big, purple, hat covered his face for the few moments before he looked up at the camera, showing his brown eyes, brown hair, brown face, and ridiculously big game show host smile.
The host looked up at the audience, waving and blowing kisses into the crowd. “HELLLLLOOOOO NEPLESLIA!!!!” He shouted out before spinning around and making a grandiose gesture, pointing to someone in the crowd, BIFF VANDERHUGE COME ON DOWN!”
A tremendous roar of triumph blew out of the stands as a large, exceptionally muscular ID-SOL practically barreled his way down the from the cheap seats and onto the stage. With his bald noggin shining brightly in the stage lights, the ID-SOL turned to the crowd and flexed his muscles in grandure. "I'M HUGE! VANDERHUGE! YEEEEAAAHH!!"
"WELCOME BIFF!" That guy shouted as Vanderhuge came down to the stage. "Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself. Where do you come from? Why are you here? And what is your favorite band member from Aethersperm?!"
Vanderhuge didn't turn to meet That Guy's questions, too focused on showing off his body to the massive cheering crowd and floating vid-cam sets. Each time he answered a question, Biff would quickly snap into a newer, more impressive set of bulging muscular flexes. "I'm from FUNKY CITY, yeah! I'm here to WIN IT ALL, yeah! And I love that Double-D...her tits are almost as huge as my HUGE GUNS, YEAH!"
“Well Biff. I hope your bark is as good as your bite because you are about to meet your opponent.” That guy spun around again, pointing to someone else in the audience and shouting, “MILES SWANSON COME ON DOWN!” Naturally the crowd roared loudly for the contestant.
"WOOOO! YEAH!" Came yelling from a slightly chubby, almost fit, late 20's Nepleslian. He tossed his large soda behind him, splashing whatever unlucky soul behind him with ice cold, high concentration alcoholic soda. He ran down the steps, his arms in the air as he ran on stage, jumping up and down.
"ALRIGHT MILES!" That guy shouted, "I have to ask you the same questions, Where do you come from, why are you here, and What is your favorite Aethersperm Band member besides Double D!?!?"
Miles laughed to the crowd, screaming a bit more and waving his arms in the air. He spun to That Guy, answering. "Well, the good old nasty Funky City of course! I'm here to kick some ass, and Rocketass is my favorite! His riffs are out of CONTROOOOOL!" He emphasized his last word by playing his very own air guitar wildly.
“AWESOME!” That Guy shouted as he played Air-bass to accompany the Air-Guitar. The soundboard technicians played some generic guitar music to go along with the songs they weren’t playing. That Guy then pointed to another person in the stands, “ANTHONY WEEDSEED COME ON DOWN!”
The crowd then gasped, Three people being called down at once was unheard of!
A big, polo-shirted young man with a rather wild pair of side-burns stumbled down the steps, continually looking back confusedly at a pair of stage-hands urging him towards the stage. He stumbled up towards That Guy and squinted out at the audience, eyes bright red and pupils dilated. "Yo," Anthony managed to half-mutter.
"ALRIGHT. YOU HAVE JUST WON A CHANCE TO WIN A FABULOUS SUPER BONUS MYSTERY PRIZE!" That guy shouted to Anthony as he came down. "But first, our fabulous stage girls will be preparing our other contestants for their match!" That guy spun, his zoot suit flailing out a little before he stopped and pointed at the curtains. six women barely clothed in sparkly silver bikinis ran out and pulled Biff and Miles back behind the curtain into separate areas. As soon as they were off stage the girls began to hurriedly undress the two men, putting numerous pieces of mesh clothing on Miles including stockings and a steel mesh T-shirt. "Now Anthony, Let me explain the game to you. If Miles wins, you get to pick a fabulous SUPER BONUS MYSTERY PRIZE!" The crowd then cheered. "Now to help him out you get THIS!" That guy pulled a small remote control out of his pocket. On it were three HUGE red buttons. "NOW, don't press these until the match starts! You can press each button twice before it goes inert, once you use up all your buttons MILES IS ON HIS OWN AGAINST BIFF!!!"
"YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, TINY BOY! THE VANDERHUGE TAKES NO PRIS'NORS!" Biff yelled at the top of his lungs at his future opponent as the stage girls quickly readied him for the match.
Anthony sauntered over to That Guy, regarding the remote with a rather suspicious look. He reached out for the remote and quickly shot a hand out to grab it, his gaze transferred to That Guy. "Okay... Sounds like fun."
"Whatever!" Miles yelled back as he tossed Biff a few birds. Miles laughed to himself as the girls got him ready, he ever growled sultrily at a few of them.
The girls brought Miles back out onto the stage and had him stand on a red circle. Miles was dressed in a weird mesh outfit that most of the planet would have been able to recognize. “HOW ARE YOU FEELING MILES!!!” That guy yelled out, “As you can see he has been dressed as his favorite AETHERSPERM! Band member!”
The crowd cheered again.
“AND THE GIRLS ARE NOW BRINGING OUT HIS WEAPON!” That guy shouted once more as the girls came out with a giant inflated guitar. “TELL US HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GOING UP AGAINST BIFF VANDERHUGE!?!?”
Miles face flushed a little as he was handed his weapon. He stuttered slightly "U-ummm..." He coughed to himself then they up some horns as he yelled to the crowd. "I'M GONNA ROCK HIS WORLD!" He grabbed the guitar and strummed across it as he screamed out some lyrics to the crowd.
"YES! I bet Biff has a few words to say to that!" That guy said as guitar music was again played while Miles strummed his fake guitar. The girls then pulled Biff out from behind the curtains. If he was nude the audience wouldn't know as volumetrically projected black lines were across his hips and chest. He was placed on a circle opposite of Miles and given a giant fake inflated guitar to hold. "BIFF! Are you going to let Miles get away with rocking your world?"
"AND I'M GUNNA RAWK YER FACE, TINY MAN!" Another boisterous yell erupted from the ID-SOLs mouth. Apparently, he had little shame in his appearance. This became even more relevant when Biff pumped his hands over the enormous fake breasts that had been placed under the holographic black bars. "THE VANDERHUGE IS NOW VANDERHUGER! YER DEAD, OLD-SCHOOL STYLE, MAH BOOOIIII!"
"FRIGHTENING! I know I wouldn't want to be fighting Biff right now!" That guy shouted towards the crowd before spinning towards the contestants. "Alright, this is a simple game. Just don't fall off your platforms! The first person to fall off twice looses!" That guy said.
Biff just cracked his absurdly large knuckles, grinning a bald-faced grin with malicious glee at his smaller, runtier opponent.
Miles stuck his tongue out at Biff, pointing his inflated guitar.
“BEGIN!” That guy shouted as the floor opened up and the circles that both contestants were on raised up six feet. A ten foot long platform only three feet wide deployed to connect the two contestant’s circles and the buttons on the remote lit up.
Of course all of this was padded, and numerous odd machines could be seen moving into place above the platforms
Miles lost a bit of balance from surprise as the platform raised up, but he quickly recovered, stepping out a few feet out on the bridge, holding his guitar out like a spear.
"COME'ERE PUNY BOY, IMMA RIP AND TEAR YER GUTS! HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN!!" Biff roared in anticipation as he lumbered gingerly down the thin platform, hands open ready to grasp.
Anthony cocked an eyebrow at the strange activity occurring around him. Weedseed shot a look to That Guy, and clicked the top-most button on the remote, giving a silent hope that his prize would be pot money.
"WARNING! TEEN AGED FANS!" Speakers blared out once Anthony pressed the button. For a few moments nothing happened and then out of no where a nude, female, blow up doll was shot out of a cannon towards the platforms, sailing in between Biff and Miles. There was a loud FWATHUMP! as another was shot out and sailed harmlessly behind Biff, missing him by a few inches before doors above the platforms opened up and inflatable love dolls rained down on the two contestants!
Miles yelped and crouched as he batted the dolls off of him, taking a step back.
The inflated figures did little to sway the imposing fortitude of Vanderhuge's advance. Biff simply continued to steadily lumber down the platform, haphazardly grabbing one stray doll to his left, gripping it with two massive hands, and popping it with a resounding fizzle of air.
The crowd gasped!
"IT LOOKS LIKE LOVE DOLLS CAN'T STOP THE BIFF!" That guy shouted out.
"Hey! Tits!" Exclaimed Anthony with pleasant surprise. He then punched the middle button, just for fun.
Miles stood back up and stepped closer to Biff, test swinging the guitar menacingly with a scowl on his face.
Techno music started to play in the background and a three story tall balloon Moe 17 rolled out from behind the curtains, just barely fitting into the studio. The speakers then blared out, "DRUM SOLO!!!!" As the arms of the giant Moe 17 began to move, pounding the sides of the platforms the two were standing on and causing them to shake. Meanwhile flashing, multi-colored strobe lights and colorful laser beams began to go on and off all around the stage.
Biff, surprised by the sudden appearance of the robot-shaped balloon. "HUH WHU WHU WOOO-!" The Vanderhuge blabbered as he started to wobble slightly on the platform, throwing his arms in wide circles in a nearly comical fashion to retain his balance.
Miles stumbled forwards slightly as the platforms shook from the pounding giant Moe 17. He stood as steadily as he could and swung his guitar at Biff's legs, having to lean and reach slightly to get close enough.
Biff took a few swings with his massive fist in Miles' direction, warning him to back off until the rumbling earthquake-inducing drum solo was over.
"IT LOOKS LIKE BIFF IS IN TROUBLE!!!" That guy shouted out. "WILL HE BE ABLE TO STEADY HIMSELF!?"
Miles kept himself low, and scooting back as Biff swung, swinging at Biff's legs and crotch, hoping his arms plus the guitar had a longer reach than Biff's arms alone.
Biff, arms waving and false hooters wobbling profusely, finally regained his hefty balance by crouching ever so slightly to touch the platform below him with two bracing hands. He looked back at Miles, eyes and bald shining venomously.
Anthony steadied his eyes on the progress of the fight. He then gave a look down back at the remote, hovering his thumb over the third button. Weedseed stopped his thumb for a moment, as if to think about it, he pulled his thumb back. "I'mma press this buttan." he pressed it with his index finger instead.
And just like that, Biff's bars disappeared entirely.
The crowd gasped!
...and a few of them whistled a couple cat-calls.
Miles quickly stood up and threw a kick straight up at the crouching Biff's face, un-phased by the surprise nudity.
Miles wasn't expecting his kick to be so easily repelled as it was. He spun around, his arms waving as he tried to recover. His foot caught on a love doll that had straddled to bridge, he slipped off, grappling with the doll as he plummeted off, Miles being on top as he hit the ground, the doll popping under him.
Biff Vanderhuge, his huge Vanderhuge self still crouching, lifted an enormous hand to catch Mile's kick, pushing back as it connected with hopes of throwing him off of the platform.
Seeing an opportunity, Anthony revved back the hand that the remote was in, moving in the form similar to a pitcher. With blazing speed, the remote sped toward Biff, it's flight path: Biff's nuts.
"OOOOH! WHAT A SUPRISE!" That Guy shouted as all three buttons were triggered upon impact to Biff’s scrotum. Love dolls started flying threw the air and the giant Moe 17 came out, playing out a crazy beat as lasers and strobes started turning on and off all over the stadium. At the same time the black bars on Biff turned on and off and started flying around the stadium while switching colors and shapes until Biff had a volumetrically projected animal head with a long trunk covering his hips.
Weedseed's aim was surprisingly true. With a resounding *thunk*, the solid piece of technology planted itself firmly onto Biff's television-censored groin quarters. Biff's eyes bulged out as his hands shot to the offending area, his face turning red and his breath spitting outward from his gaping maw in a loud, painful moan. The Vanderhuge grew rigid, swayed a little, then plummeted to the stage floor.
"A DOUBLE KNOCKOFF!" That guy shouted out, "AMAZING! Who will win the next round or will they both get knocked off again!"
Miles grinned down at the popped doll he landed on. "Was it good for you too?" He rolled off and slowly stood up, brushing his netted clothing off as he sauntered around slightly, waiting for what to do next.
"Go ahead and climb back onto the platform both of you!" That guy said.
"Can I have my toy back?" Anthony asked That guy.
Miles sighed and quickly climbed back up to his platform, guitarless this time.
"OF COURSE!" That guy shouted, "Girls, Bring him his toy!" With that, one of the bikini clad babes backstage rushed out and picked up the remote, bringing it over to Anthony before returning backstage.
Grabbing the remote, Anthony grasped it with his thumb landing on the first button, again.
After a few moments, Biff rose from the sunken crater his fall had made in the matted area below the platforms. His face was in a scowl, throwing dirty looks and growls at Anthony as he limped his way back up to his platform.
Unfortunately nothing happened, as the buttons had all been pressed twice by both him, and by the impact with Biff.
"damn it, I need a reload." commented Anthony.
Just as he said that, the remote broke into two pieces, revealing a final button with BONUS written on it.
Miles got atop his platform, striding out about a third of the way, scowling as he waited for Biff.
Biff didn't waste any time: He started rumbling down the walkway yet again, looking two times as meaner as before. "YER DEAD NOW, KIDDY BOY! NO BUTTANS FOR YER BUDDY TO PLAY WITH!"
"Ooooh, what's this..." Anthony happily landed his middle finger of the hand opposite the one holding the remote, on to the 'bonus button'.
Miles growled a "Screw it" to himself and stomped down the bridge towards Biff, intent on ending the challenge either way.
Suddenly, the platform's retracted, bringing Biff and Miles directly next to each other while Sirens went off and red lights flashed, "BONUS!" Shouted someone over the speakers, "OH NO! THIS IS GOING TO END BADLY FOR SOMEONE!" That guy shouted.
"OOOOH BUDDY, IMMA KNOCK YER LIGHTS OUT!" Biff shouted with malicious glee as he watched the smaller Nepleslian advance his way as well. "IMMA CLEAN YO CLOCK, WIPE YER WINDOWS, FIX YER DOG AND SLAP YO GRANNY!"
Miles stood still next to Biff for a second as the retracting platforms brought them together. "Fuck it." Miles threw a headbutt at the ID-SOL probably only reaching his breastbone.
Anthony was enjoying himself as the chaos ensued in front of him, though he came to realize something. "Hey, can all the buttons be pressed twice?" he asked That Guy.
"OF COURSE!" That guy shouted out.
Still looking at the guy, with a now malicious grin on his face, Anthony pressed the button again.
"SUPER DOUBLE BONUS!" The speakers blared out as the girls came running out of the backstage area with a big pink wig, trashcan, and series of belts. Soon, Anthony was enveloped in women as they began changing his clothing.
"Hubbawha?" Biff swung a loose-jawed look at Anthony while Miles attempted his headbutt. The massive ID-SOL didn't budge an inch...it was as if nothing had hit him at all. Biff didn't even seem to notice, as he attention was on the third contestant on the side.
In moments, Anthony was wearing a metal trashcan around his waist, had on a helmit with a huge pink wig, and was being pulled into the air by wires and swung towards the two men on the platform as music played, the lyrics being entirely, "SUPER DOUBLE BONUS!"
Miles bounced off Biff, the force Reflected back into his own head. "Oh geez..." He started to lean backwards dizzily, and reached out, grabbing at Biffs belt, trying feebly to keep himself up.
"Whabbuhuh?" The Vanderhuge could only stare agape as the garbage-clad Nepleslian flew at him.
"Weeeee!" Anthony he swung his trashcan clothing around, trying to get a swing to where he might hit the two harder than what the wires would allow.
The cameras focused in on That Guy, "WOW! THAT WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLE ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Tune in next show to see it for yourself!"
The screen then cut off to several Aethersperm concert commercials (This Saturday at Los Apagos Arena, 8 PM!), an Anti-Matter O’s advert (New flavor: I Vanted Oh-Range!), two Green war propaganda announcements (See Red, shoot’em Dead) and one phone-sex hotline number (1-800-F-R-E-E-B-A-L-L-I-N).
