Approved Character Gearhead Specs Thirteen 13-3685-7746

[Kyoki]

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:specs

Bound for the Enkidu. No inventory yet, but that shouldn't be a problem... supposedly.

Whoops, forgot to change/remove the neko picture and didn't want to spam any mailboxes for the people watching the wiki.... If I have something else to fix, I'll change it then....

 

[PlaidMage]

STAMP OF APPROVAL

(I told her she didn't have to do an inventory, by the way. Because if I'm such a lazy ass I don't want to do it, none of my players have to either.)

 

[Kai]

Her body has the faintest sense of muscle, with the build of a modestly toned athlete.

So she has almost no muscle, but as much muscle as an athlete? This makes very little sense to me. could you try to explain a little more clearly what you were going for?

you misspelled Petite as Petit in the facial features.


I'm also a little concerned on the way her 'eyes' work. Lenses cannot have breaks in them, otherwise they will not work.


I'm no freespacer FM, but, I think this character needs a little bit of adjustment before it can be approved.

 

[Kyoki]

Fixed the muscle thingy. ...nuts, I forgot to change the picture.

As for her eye cybernetics, think of it as... like an extra set of transparent eyelids that like... lizards, I think, have. The lens just slides in over the eyes when she needs them.

Also, I've seen petite/petit spelled both ways. I suppose without the second e makes it more french-like? or something? I dunno.

 

[Abwehran Commander]

According to Websters:

Petite - having a small trim figure —usually used of a woman.

Petit - petty or minor —used chiefly in legal compounds

Basically, they're two words with different definitions.

*The more you know symbol flashes across screen*

 

[Kyoki]

Okay okay. Fixed the petit petite problem and remembered to remove the neko picture. Anything else?

 

[Kai]

I'm still a bit wary on her eyes, first of all I can't really picture what they look like or how they would work, and secondly, there is no mention of how these lenses attach on her face or how they move other than folding.

Could you expand on that?

Also, Raz needs to look over this, as the current Freespacer FM.

 

[raz]

The character is fine from "is it a Freespacer?" standpoint and there is nothing objectionable. There are a lot of style and grammar issues, though, but I'll let whose job it is to address that address that.

 

[Kyoki]

I changed the wiki article a bit on how the lenses cover the eyes.... I think that should work? Now to wait for more constructive criticisms.

 

[Doshii Jun]

Nothing more to worry about. This character is approved for IC usage.