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Approved Submission Gumdrop APC

Zack

Zack

Inactive Member
Submission Type: APC
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:gumdrop_apc

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? yes
Faction requires art? yes

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? no
Contains New art? yes
Previously Submitted? no

Notes:
Though there is a spot for weapons on the top, I don't have an immediate plan to write a weapons article for this so for the time being its just an unarmed APC.

As far as weapons go a 'weapon platform' submission would deal with the DvR3 rules when it gets made rather than now.
 
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1) "With its operation complete, it can match speed with a fast moving U-1 and reconnect for transport back to a mother ship."

Gumdrop propulsion: 0.05c

U-1 propulsion:
Atmosphere:
Mecha form: Mach 5.2
Fighter form: Mach 6
Zero atmosphere:
Mecha form: .27 C
Fighter form: .32 C

It can't "match speed with a fast moving u-1", can it? I'm a little confused about this. It's slower than standard starship speeds, so how does it match a U-1?

2) "...wheel'd mode..." Do you mean wheeled mode?

3) "...4 people inside + power armor..." Replace + with and or plus.

4) Need text under Craft Systems before sub-headers.

5) "multiple..." under Armor should be capitalized.

6) Anti-grav engines are not represented in the art? No big deal but I'm wondering if they're inside the craft and it's not spelled out that they are.

7) "four..." under Optical/ Thermal Sensors should be capitalized.

8) "...setup..." should be two words, set up.

9) "The only non-emergency exit is in the rear of the craft, a single door with a textured walking path leads into the rear area, where there is space for three power armored people and one pilot." This either needs to be two sentences with a break where the first comma is, or you need to say where in the same spot.

10) YE completed?

11) Center the tier 4, light armor in the chart

12) How is it both a PA carrier and 2 m if the standard power armor on the size chart is 2.8 meters?
 
1) Think of it like in-flight refueling. The U-1 slows down to match speed with the gumdrop. They latch together, then the U-1 is free to speed off.

12) There are smaller power armors, but sidestepping that: You have to crouch down and there isn't a lot of room inside. As mentioned in the description it's kinda cramped.


Everything else: I'm pretty sure setup is fine, but regardless I changed all of the requested in regards to needing text / spelling / punctuation / ect.
 
1) Think of it like in-flight refueling. The U-1 slows down to match speed with the gumdrop. They latch together, then the U-1 is free to speed off.

12) There are smaller power armors, but sidestepping that: You have to crouch down and there isn't a lot of room inside. As mentioned in the description it's kinda cramped.


Everything else: I'm pretty sure setup is fine, but regardless I changed all of the requested in regards to needing text / spelling / punctuation / ect.

The gravity drives are also modeled on the model, but they are wedged between the body and those outer panels so you can't really seem them except for from directly above / in front / behind.
 
Saying that it can match speed with a fast moving U-1 is wrong, then. It can match speed with a slow moving U-1, relative to a U-1's speeds, instead.

Can you make mention of the necessitated crouching in order for PA to fit? It seems inane, but it would be pertinent to players to know they have to duck and walk that way instead of just stroll through. Most PA cannot feasibly walk in this. Make that apparent.

It's a matter of being either a noun/ adjective (setup) vs verb (set up). You said, "four small combined sensor systems are setup on the craft," which is using it as a verb.

I see. I mean, I don't see the gravity drives, but I guess I don't need to.
 
I think your splitting hairs here, but regardless the line about matching speed with the U-1 was been removed and now it just says it reconnects.

I've also added a bit at the end of the appearance section about not being able to stand upright inside of the gumdrop.
 
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