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Approved Submission [Havok] The Drake: Robotic Pet Dragon!

Blizzard

Inactive Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=wip:drake
WIP Article

IDK who to even tag for this, so @Wes @Ametheliana

Basically a FARS that isn't as "robotic", despite being a robot.

Furthermore, would this be considered a species or just another product?

Anyways, SARP will now hopefully have lil' dog-sized dragons. It may have some issues, but I blame that on it being 2am where I live.
 
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This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
Wes: No dragons
Community: *makes them with SCIENCE.*
Gud joek

In any case, I don’t think the civilian model should have sharp claws and fire breath, instead making the scary weapon version be a “bodyguard” edition. You could actually toss on DR for both of those; Tier 1 claws and Tier 2 breath weapon, on a Tier 2 body.
 
The article doesn't meet the style guidelines (having text after the headers).
 
Aha. You need a little prose after the headers in Pricing. Yes, each one. Just write something about availability.
 
You could probably move the DR under the Internals section. The FARS is the best template to use here, but the FARS doesn't have a weapon so we'll have to bootleg another template. Most of them have weapons towards the top, so it's best to move it near there.
 
Put text after main headers and before other headers, images, charts, bullet points, etc.

Where I wrote HERE is where you would put text/prose

Pricing & Overview
HERE
Standard Edition

More about the Drake
HERE
Design

Drake (title header)
HERE
<cute image>
 
The submitted article is/has…
[ YES ] A very high level of overall quality
[ YES ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ YES ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[ YES ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[ ??? ] In the proper format/template
  • No proper template exists. Used the FARS as a template, with some modification. Followed to the best of ability.
[ YES ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[ YES ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ YES ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ YES ] No red and/or broken links
[ YES ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
  • Robodragon, lul
[ YES ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ NO ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
  • Stands up to your average knife and handgun. Can't stand up to, you know, an assault rifle. Seems fair.
[ NO ] Obtusely redundant
[ NO ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ NO ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ NO ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ NO ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ NO ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ NO ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ NO ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ NO ] Lacking Detail
[ NO ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ NO ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
  • Add in speeds under Damage Ratings
[ YES ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ YES ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
  • Link the year
[ NO ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
  • Hmm...does Havok not have its own nomenclature?
 
@META_mahn made the edits. Havok doesn't do mass production so nomenclature isn't a thing for them. So far they have three products including this.
 
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