Z
Zack
After the events of: [Star Wasp] 7 : The Hate Machine
Nepleslia, Holsters and More Clothing Outlet>
"And then I said, 'NOT YOUR PANTS! THE GUN!" Uso laughed as she opened the doors to the Holsters and More clothing outlet, showing off rows upon rows of real classy suits, and classy but considerably more fake wood panneling along with mirrors, shirts, socks, ties, dresses, and all that extra 'MORE' along with a full wall of 'HOLSTERS'.
"But anyways, back to why we're here." Uso said, pointing at Alex and Jason, "The two of you, first off, I recently found out you're both just kinda stuck smelling terribly in those jump suits. So, you know, we need you to have something a bit more real and a bit more day to day."
"AND YOU!" Uso said, pointing at Arccos, "We've got to get you ready for a date ifyouknowwhatImean...." Uso would give her a wink and then turn her attention back to the two men of the group.
"So how about we play dress up with these two first?" Uso asked.
Arccos could only stare at Uso flatly for a few seconds, both not getting the joke and failing to understand exactly how this was intended to be preparation for a date. That before looking over to the 'twins'.
"I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but sure. We can dress these two up as whatever..."
"No... I mean, Yes have some fun with it. If you want to stick Jason in assless chaps then go ahead but get them some serious clothing too. I already have some good ideas about what to stick Alex in." Uso replied.
"Dress to match, or no?" Arccos asked simply.
"Oh that'd be adorable!.... Maybe one matching outfit. We can't have them looking like each other all the time." Uso replied.
"I mean, it's worked pretty well for us the past few weeks.." The younger of the two seemed to have check out sometime before Uso had finished her story before suddenly jolting back into awareness.
"I've had to explain to everyone why "I've" been acting like a jerk" Alex interjected.
"For you maybe, consider that MY sense of smell is way better than yours." Uso said flatly, practically cutting him off.
"I meant more the thing about us looking like eachother all the time. I really do need to get some clothes that don't make me look like a male stripper for that matter, as much as I like the assless chaps idea." He responded in a amused one before leaning over to check out Alex. "Now if you chose that as the matching outfit..."
Arccos just raised her eyebrows a little, hooking her thumbs into the pockets of her jeans. "I'm... Pretty sure you're not going to find assless chaps here..."
Looking around for a moment, Alex was confused as to why everyone needed so many clothes. "Can I just get more of these? I like them, they're comfortable."
"Only if you never wish to know love, or the touch of a woman-slash-man." Arccos said gravely. Quoting some instructions from the Type III socialisation protocol that had once been programmed into her in a learning tank. "One must dress to impress."
"Yeah, soon as you walk into the room you want people to know your someone to pay attention too...and in a good way, not in a "He smells like a sack of shit because he's been wearing a rubber bodysuit on a desert world for a week" way." The clone seemed to be purusing a rack of t shirts, with pictures ranging from media icons to amusing slogans. "Or you know, maybe you want to blend in somewhere, NOT attract attention, which will mean having some normal clothes and not getting a repuation as a fucking tool who only wears one outfit."
"I guess that makes sense." Alex responded, as he began to look around for some clothes to try on. He saw everything from swimwear to belts and shoes. His eyes settled on a light orange tee shirt and beige shorts. Plucking them off of the rack, he looked around for some indication as to what to do next.
"Ok, first off we need to get you two something a bit more professional. You both need clothing that says, 'I'm a functional member of society and I can pay attention to detail.' You don't need a full suit with tie clip and everything but you DO need part of that. Enough to say you're capable but still learning.
I was thinking tailored pants, belt, some button down shirts... the ones with the buttons to keep the collar in place, a tie and a vest. I don't think either of you two are grown up enough for a suit to look like it'll fit right... and Shoes. You both need a pair of dress shoes... and I suppose a single accessory to show what you're about... maybe a mecha-tie-clip?" Uso said, pausing for a moment before adding,
"And you better fucking pick some Oxfords... I'm looking at you Jason." Uso said firmly, "Nothing says you don't get it like fucking brogues. You're not trying to exude your own personal style like you are with that hat of yours, you're trying to exude a certain style with your own take."
Uso would then wave over at the salesman, pointing to the legs of her friends... the older man was well suited for the job, both in the ease in which he pulled out his measuring tape, and in the suit that he was actually wearing. Tailored, Pressed, everything precisely in place in such a way that looked effortless... but that would take someone like Alex or Jason hours to get just right.
"Is there a color the gentlemen would prefer?" He asked.
"I don't think Mecha tie clips are a thing, but he might be able to get one custom made. A tad tacky for my tastes, though." Being presented with one of the stores employees as Uso precisely detailed what she wanted them to wear, Jason replied. "What, for pants? I suppose brown will do."
"No Pleats!" Uso said firmly, "Would you mind getting them both 2 pairs of pants while we look at shoes?"
The now tailor would nod, measuring Alex along with Jason just to be accurate, before heading into the back to have the pants tailored.
"Alex, you got a color preference? And Jason, go find shows that speak to your soul." Uso said, pointing him over to the shoe rack, placing a hand on each of the boy's shoulders so she could lead them in the right direction.
Seeing Uso so driven and... Particular, Arccos decided to take a back seat on this particular occasion. Leaning against a nearby wall, and pulling a small pack of potato chips from her pocket. Opening them by just squeezing the bag with a mechanical hand until it burst with a slight 'pop'.
"You know if you keep opening them that way their going to explode everywhee one of these days? Something tells me this place is the type to kick us out for making a mess in their storefront." It didn't seem to take Jason too long perusing the wares before he settled on a plain toe lace ups with a elegant, elongated shape and a polished black design. "So if Uso has you buying clothes for the date, does that mean Corgan's settled on taking you somewhere in meatspace? I kind of figured since he doesn't seem like he's very comfortable with his mindware yet."
Arccos just shrugged, popping a chip in her mouth. "Haven't decided on anything yet. But I'm half betting Uso wanted to take me somewhere as well, or something..."
He took the box off the shelf, opening it up to see if they measured up to the picture. "Hoping she wants to turn you into a throne after all, eh?"
"I'd take Arccos right here and now, but I got a job to do." Uso replied, "Besides, it is Arccos' responsibility to look pretty and show Corgan how a date is supposed to work for normal people."
"I... Don't think I'm what most would consider a normal date..." Arccos said, shaking her head slightly. Talking perfectly despite having her mouth full.
"Are you implying the lifelong gangster turned mercanery hasn't had the stable love life? Color me suprised." While saying all this, Jason attempted to covertly steal away a few chips from the Shipkeeper's bag.
"No one is a normal date, they are all each individual, special, and hilariously awkward so I can't wait to watch!" Uso said, "Yes, I'm going to meddle."
"You could just come along." Arccos said apathetically, offering her bag of chips to Uso since the sanctity of chip dibs was clearly already broken.
While the others were chatting, Alex had wandered to a section containing an almost inexaustible variety of shoes. There were hiking boots, sneakers, heels and even some things that were just labled "Jet boots." Alex eventually picked up a pair of sneakers for normal wear as well as some heavier boots in case he ever had to go into the mudlands again.
"Where would the fun be in micromanaging your evening if she was there to direct it in person? Gotta have your plans fall apart on their own merits." Jason added.
"GET DRESS SHOES ALEX!" Uso shouted, "Jason has the right idea, The shoes are classy, simple, naturally a rounded toe to show that they have a high production quality but don't otherwise have any embelishments. A shoe that knows it is a shoe and does its job... After this you need some casual shirts. Not the tacky 'Words on a shirt' either, something that doesn't scream for attention but still has some character to it..." Uso explained
"Is this going to be indicative of how strict you're going to be with my dress code?" Arccos asked off-handedly.
"You know who you are. These two don't." Uso explained, "I don't need to tell you want to get, but we should get you something for your date... besides, I'm buying this whole place anyways and opening a branch planetside so consider this a trial run for future women's fashion."
"I'd say Jason's got a bit more pop to his personality." Arccos looked across to Alex, "He's more of a kicked puppy."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence in my ability to dress myself." For the moment, Jason was picking through a couple of plaid and white button up shirts, not outwardly showing much offense to his Empresses suggestion aside from the normal sardonic tone his voice carried. "As far as opening up a shop planetside goes, would be intresting to see what sort of trends the nobles start setting with access to offworld fashion."
After hearing Uso's shout, Alex grabbed a pair of dullly shining brown shoes. After walking back over to the group, Alex showed the items he had obtained to Uso.
"Are these okay?" He asked.
"You're not wrong, either of you." Uso said, looking to Alex, and then to Arccos, "And YOU are still just a little kid. Sure're you've got a bit of attitude but there isn't much there besides that. Don't think that just because you can string some words together and wear a hat that you can run around on your own without screwing something up."
"You gave me this hat." Arccos said simply, somewhat amused as she tipped her Sheriff's hat. "But yeah, first step to being smart is acknowledging you're stupid."
"And it is a very nice hat. Goes great with the star. But you have to wear something else at some point.... YOU TWO!" Uso said, pointing to Alex and Jason, "Go find some shirts, something appropriately flashy but not TOO flashy. Something with mecha on them or pictures of ships, or comic books, or whatever. Faded look is great too, be about something without screaming it... And Arccos, we need to get you some date clothing. Corgan is probably going to over compensate in one direction or the other.... " Uso put her hand to her chin, and looked at Arccos really, really, hard.
Alex went to look for some shirts. After finding the correct section of the store, Alex picked up several faded t-shirts depicting mecha.
"So this is a... What?" Arccos stopped and went through her memory, trying to work out what constituted nice clothing to a foreigner. "Heels and fine dress type of scenario you're envisioning? Corgan doesn't own nice clothes, I'll have you know."
“Well this is Neplesia, so I'm sure the store has a spot specifically reserved for giants if you want to pick him up a suit.” Pop culture was unfortunately not one of the topics of the crash courses the SSI had booted into his memory implant before he was deemed fit for deployment, but he was pretty sure atleast one of these t-shirts had a chibi version of the blue haired Butcher of Halna on it, which was probably not the best thing to pick up with a freespacer in tow.
At the moment he seemed to be picking out a bunch of faded t-shirts in subdued colors, another showcasing the iconic hero Phalanx Phil, and he did seem to have picked up atleast one mecha themed one....picturing the infamous, long mothballed hoplite frame. Letting out a whistle, he said. “Man, what I wouldn't give to get my hands on one of these....wouldn't trade my M5 for it in a million years, but fixing a piece of history would be sweet.”
"I know, I'm just as worried as you are that he'll go full suit and top-hat... and probably a cane... fucking neps...." Uso said, "The key is to assert dominance in the wardrobe and establish the cues for a sucsessful date. Are you trying to get laid?"
"I can't work out if you're thinking about this waaayyy too hard or not. If I were trying to get laid I wouldn't bother with the pretense. Life is short." Arccos said, crushing her now empty bag of chips and stowing it away somewhere about her person. Time to humor the boss. "...Alright, how do I establish dominance through clothing?"
"Underware, comfortable, non-matching. If it turns out you do like him enough you want to let him know that you didn't plan on sleeping with him this time.
Then you should probably dress in something casual. Whatever you feel comfortable with... which for you, honestly, I'd just stick with pants and a T shirt... tight fitting around the chest, I mean, kinda look like you're trying to impress but not really.
This limits his options as to where to take you, and clearly establishes it as a casual date to get to know one another. Right off the bat you need to let him know not to take this too seriously, because he will. If he's any smart he'll have a few date options planned and will adjust accordingly." Uso explained. "If you dress up really nice, then you're immidiately putting certain expectations on the date that he won't be able to live up to."
"What I usually wear, but less worn out-slash-irradiated. Got it." Arccos nodded
"What you usually wear is dusty too... so you know... new, clean... tailored.... ill fitting clothing is the easiest way to get noticed and look terrible at the same time." Uso added.
"Are we assuming this is happening on... Whatever we're calling the planet today?"
Arccos hunched over to be more at Uso's level from her usual over tall height. Possibly giving the twins a look at exactly what the dating world looked like from the other side.
"Yeah, we should settle on an offical name." Uso said, "... No idea what Corgan has planned. I assume he hasn't co-ordinated with you at all regarding what he wants to do or possible activities which is why you're playing it comfortablesafe. No telling if there will be some amount of physicality involved or if it will be a sitting date. Either way you should be covered for the standard range of activities and clearly establish that you're not willing to go to some high-end resturant on a first date and that you don't want to be taken somewhere sloppy or low brow.... OH, and you need one kinda-expensive thing be it shoes, hat, shirt, whatever. That establishes that you are choosing to dress like this, and not that you are forced to dress like this by circumstance... Nice boots, Nice Sneakers, whatever you feel comfortable with.... don't make the mistake of wearing heels or something open toed your first time out when you're on a planet that's like 90% sand."
"I'm not that dumb. Also not really able to walk in heels. Free state isn't really big on scant footwear since there's usually nuclear waste lying about. It's also comforting to know you think this much about others when you date 'em."
Arccos stood to her full height again, turning to address the identicles.
"You two should pay attention to this. Store it to virtual memory or your mindware. 's good advice for your your love lives, if you survive long enough to have one."
“Nice to know that if i'm ever at the White Lament I should probably watch out for random fission waste lying about.”
Jason cast a sidelong, knowing look at Alex when Arccos addressed the two.
“Oh trust me, I've been taking notes here. I'm sure it'll come in handy if I don't slagged by some Mishhu positron cannon in the near future. Or whatever they're fielding these days.”
Having now aquired all the items Uso had instructed him to get, Alex returned to the group. Holding up the clothes he asked, "What now?"
"Let me see what you got Alex." Uso said, "That means you're done wearing your flight suit for now. Go change."
Uso would then turn her attention to Arccos,
"That doesn't get you off the hook for heels. You need to own a pair and a dress. Something nice. You don't need to get it now, but you should keep your eye out for something."
"Is there a particular state occasion for formal dress, or are you just having fun dressing us up?" Arccos asked flatly.
"There may be a formal occation int he future that I need you to look offical for." Uso replied.
"This sounds both responsible, and boring. I'm somewhat disappointed in you, Uso." the 'spacer added, slinking off to the women's section and loading up her body's exact measurements from some long-mothballed file in her mindware.
While Uso and Arccos were talking, Alex had went looking for a changing room. After finding one, he removed his jumpsuit and changed into changed into a dull orange t-shirt and a pair of long beige pants. He draped the other articles of clothing over his arm.
“Well, it doesn't have any ballistic plates, but it's not the worst thing I've ever been forced into.”
Meanwhile, the clone seemed to have already taken the intiative to try on the clothing they had picked up, exiting the changing room wearing the black shoes Uso had approved of, the freshly fabcricated brown pants, and a plaid buttoned up shirt he had picked out earlier.
“What do you guys think? Good enough for that noble party, hopefully.”
"You don't look stupid enough." Arccos said, peeking her head across the stores to look over to the change rooms, "Nobles back there dress like peacocks or whatever..."
"Well, unless their selling tunics or petticoats in this place maybe i'll just have to start setting some new trends." He called back to her, adjusting his collar while admiring the new threads in a mirror. "History tells me one of the perks of conquest is getting to transplant a little bit of your culture."
Alex walked back over to his clone. "How is this?" he asked.
"Huh?" He turned and gave the original a once over. "I mean, I'm not sure i'm the best judge of all this for pretty obvious reasons, but the look doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out, which is a plus. What do you think about what I got on?"
"I don't really know." A memory suddenly struck Alex. "It reminds me of my father, before he was..."
Before he was...." Jason made a circling motion with his hand, urging Alex to move forward. "Before he was killed? Kidnapped? Left your family? Got better fashion sense? Kind of trailed off there buddy."
"Before he and my mother were killed. Before I was taken away." Alex said quietly, looking down.
"Tough break man. Hope they went quickly, at least." Jason raised a eyebrow at the other young mans change in demeanor, looking more confused then sympathetic.
A bit unsure of how to proceed, he shook Alex's shoulders playfully, injecting a cheery tone in his voice.
"Look on the bright side man, 'least you got something out of it man. Augs, training a mech...me. Sure helping Uso save bug people and oppress primitives is a lot more fun then what your parents would be dragging you into about now, am I right?"
"I have no idea." Alex said, "We never had enough time in one place to do anything. I never got any real idea of what they were like as people."
"Eh. I bet they were fuck-ups anyway if the SSI got the drop on them, probably better of without him." He shook his head. "Dwell too much on what could have been and it'll drive you crazy. Live in the now, take whatever you can get, enjoy yourself."
"Right." Alex said, his calm behavior belying his internal turmoil.
"So, tell me, what sort of fun have you been up to why you've been out here?" Jace questioned his other half.
Scratching his chin for a moment before answering, Alex said "Not much really. I enjoy flying a lot. I also got a job over at that giant black hexagon."
"What, no war stories you want to share? Guess the place has been that quiet for a while." The mention of a job certainly piqued Jason intrest. "Yeah, yeah, I know the place. What kind of job are we talking about here? Uso doesn't mind? Does it pay well, see any action?"
Answering his clones question, Alex responded. "I'm not sure. I haven't done anything over there yet."
"YOU WHAT?!" Uso shouted from the other side of the store.
"....You didn't tell Uso before you signed up, did you?" Jason let out an annoyed sigh as he dragged his palm across his face in frustration.
"No, Why would I need to?" Alex said, puzzled by the fact that this seemed to cause such conflict.
"Because you work for her and so far our hours are whenever she damn well pleases to call us up." Jason shook his head, stepping away from his clone.
Still unsure of why it was a problem, Alex continued. "But I don't have any obligations over there, if I want a mission I have to sign up first. I'm sure they'll understand if Uso needs me for something."
"I think it might be more that you apparently decided to make yourself available to them without running it by her first. Doesn't exactly set a good precedent for filling her in when it comes time to sign a contract....actually what are you even supposed to be doing up there? Mech pilot? Because I don't even think we technically own our equipment. Sure as hell aren't paying for the maintenance on it. "
"Thats the only thing I'm good at at the moment."
"So basically the story to me is you signed up for a job as a merc while also working as a soldier for Uso, didn't tell her, and apparently you're expecting to be able to take whatever frame you're piloting out to who knows where, for who knows how long to work for them."
Jason threw his hands up in the air, deciding to be out of the way before Uso got over. "Yeah, I'm going to let you explain this to her. Good luck."
Uso, for once, was at a loss for words. "I mean, what the shit?" She finally said, "I suppose you are your own person.... but you're barely old enough to not poop your pants from what I understand of your species. Now you've got a job doing who knows what with who knows who?! Fuck... The Van-Bannings of the world are not people you can swim with."
Questioning whether or not it was in his best intrest to interupt the women, as per usual Jason decided to throw caution to the wind and bite the bullet.
"So, who exactly are the Van-Bannings and why are they bad news? I'm guessing they're the one's who set up the skyscraped, but thats about it."
"Van-Banning is the kind of person who can have a sky scraper droped from space. She is a doer of things. She is someone that you have to consider before you interact with...Now I've got to wonder what kind of information she may be trying to pull from Alex, or if she is using him to make some kind of play..... Not that taking your own initiative is wrong, Alex, but you should consult with me first on things like this." Uso said
"Does he know anything, uh, critical about your operations for her to get?" The young man narrowed his eyes at his counterpart. "What exactly did go down when you went over there?"
"Well he may have something useful on shady corporation X." Arccos said, walking over with a bulging armful of clothing.
"That's the spirit!" Uso said, when she saw Arccos' pile of clothing, "Alex, I'm going to start calling you sadsack if you don't cheer up a bit... but you do need to figure out what you want to do. If you don't want to stay with us then you should move on and be your own man.
And if you want to stay here, you should try working a little bit closer with us."
"I'd argue psychopomp probably wouldn't have let him find out much that would be useful, but then again now that I'm out of there I'm really starting to question their competence." He responded to Arccos, then followed up on what Uso said. " And yeah man, no need to play things so close to your chest. Try to keep us updated when you start working for shady people who orbitally drop buildings."
"Why are you letting her set up around here if you so concerned about her making a move against you, anyway?"
"There are the friends that you have that'll always be on your side, and then there are the friends that will be on your side so long as it is the best thing for them to do. Right now I'm invested in keeping Van Banning friendly which means keeping her from getting into a position where she could cause trouble for me." Uso replied.
"Pretty sure she also gave us a big wad of money." Arccos added, sorting through a pile of shirts.
"Which I also like," Uso said.
"I didn't even stop to think about that. But how could I have possibly known?"
"You're what? 10? You're not expected to know all this stuff at you're age. There isn't exactly a school or training program for 'how to run a planet and get rich doing it' either." Uso said. "This is a learn as you go situtation."
"I'm 16. They captured me when I was 6 and I was there for 10 years. I think."
"You can ask. Listen to mother Uso." Arccos piped in, "She's got... Well she has advice. I don't know about consistency of quality."
"It's brilliant advice." Uso added.
"Well, she hasn't let me down so far." Jason replied. "Then again I've known her for all of a few weeks. Can't complain about working for you so far, though."
"I'm still not getting over the time she wanted me to have an edible sheriff's uniform." Arccos clarified.
"....I feel like that would be a bit uncomfortable to wear out in the desert." Jason speculated, casting a questioning look out the corner of his eye at his Empress. "Though I'm pretty sure it wasn't intended to be around long."
"Why would she suggest that?" Alex asked in puzzlement.
"So she can erotically eat the clothes off of me." Arccos said bluntly, holding up a fitted t-shirt with an abstract looking print on it. "After which we would presumably fuck."
"Presumably." Uso said, looking over at Alex, "So what's it going to be Alex? What are you doing with your life?"
"Pretty sure we can dump--Er... Drop you off somewhere in Yamatai where you'll be able to just live your life. They'll give you a house, and money." Arccos said, tucking the proposed shirt away, "But at this stage we've invested in you pretty heavily. Mech repairs don't come cheap."
"I think I'd like to stay with you guys for now, I have a few ideas about some things I want to do." Alex said.
"Well, you could always just repossess the mech when he leaves. Find a new pilot, sell it off, cannibalise it for parts." He turned to Alex. "It's nice to hear you aren't running ou on us quite yet, though."
Nepleslia, Holsters and More Clothing Outlet>
"And then I said, 'NOT YOUR PANTS! THE GUN!" Uso laughed as she opened the doors to the Holsters and More clothing outlet, showing off rows upon rows of real classy suits, and classy but considerably more fake wood panneling along with mirrors, shirts, socks, ties, dresses, and all that extra 'MORE' along with a full wall of 'HOLSTERS'.
"But anyways, back to why we're here." Uso said, pointing at Alex and Jason, "The two of you, first off, I recently found out you're both just kinda stuck smelling terribly in those jump suits. So, you know, we need you to have something a bit more real and a bit more day to day."
"AND YOU!" Uso said, pointing at Arccos, "We've got to get you ready for a date ifyouknowwhatImean...." Uso would give her a wink and then turn her attention back to the two men of the group.
"So how about we play dress up with these two first?" Uso asked.
Arccos could only stare at Uso flatly for a few seconds, both not getting the joke and failing to understand exactly how this was intended to be preparation for a date. That before looking over to the 'twins'.
"I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but sure. We can dress these two up as whatever..."
"No... I mean, Yes have some fun with it. If you want to stick Jason in assless chaps then go ahead but get them some serious clothing too. I already have some good ideas about what to stick Alex in." Uso replied.
"Dress to match, or no?" Arccos asked simply.
"Oh that'd be adorable!.... Maybe one matching outfit. We can't have them looking like each other all the time." Uso replied.
"I mean, it's worked pretty well for us the past few weeks.." The younger of the two seemed to have check out sometime before Uso had finished her story before suddenly jolting back into awareness.
"I've had to explain to everyone why "I've" been acting like a jerk" Alex interjected.
"For you maybe, consider that MY sense of smell is way better than yours." Uso said flatly, practically cutting him off.
"I meant more the thing about us looking like eachother all the time. I really do need to get some clothes that don't make me look like a male stripper for that matter, as much as I like the assless chaps idea." He responded in a amused one before leaning over to check out Alex. "Now if you chose that as the matching outfit..."
Arccos just raised her eyebrows a little, hooking her thumbs into the pockets of her jeans. "I'm... Pretty sure you're not going to find assless chaps here..."
Looking around for a moment, Alex was confused as to why everyone needed so many clothes. "Can I just get more of these? I like them, they're comfortable."
"Only if you never wish to know love, or the touch of a woman-slash-man." Arccos said gravely. Quoting some instructions from the Type III socialisation protocol that had once been programmed into her in a learning tank. "One must dress to impress."
"Yeah, soon as you walk into the room you want people to know your someone to pay attention too...and in a good way, not in a "He smells like a sack of shit because he's been wearing a rubber bodysuit on a desert world for a week" way." The clone seemed to be purusing a rack of t shirts, with pictures ranging from media icons to amusing slogans. "Or you know, maybe you want to blend in somewhere, NOT attract attention, which will mean having some normal clothes and not getting a repuation as a fucking tool who only wears one outfit."
"I guess that makes sense." Alex responded, as he began to look around for some clothes to try on. He saw everything from swimwear to belts and shoes. His eyes settled on a light orange tee shirt and beige shorts. Plucking them off of the rack, he looked around for some indication as to what to do next.
"Ok, first off we need to get you two something a bit more professional. You both need clothing that says, 'I'm a functional member of society and I can pay attention to detail.' You don't need a full suit with tie clip and everything but you DO need part of that. Enough to say you're capable but still learning.
I was thinking tailored pants, belt, some button down shirts... the ones with the buttons to keep the collar in place, a tie and a vest. I don't think either of you two are grown up enough for a suit to look like it'll fit right... and Shoes. You both need a pair of dress shoes... and I suppose a single accessory to show what you're about... maybe a mecha-tie-clip?" Uso said, pausing for a moment before adding,
"And you better fucking pick some Oxfords... I'm looking at you Jason." Uso said firmly, "Nothing says you don't get it like fucking brogues. You're not trying to exude your own personal style like you are with that hat of yours, you're trying to exude a certain style with your own take."
Uso would then wave over at the salesman, pointing to the legs of her friends... the older man was well suited for the job, both in the ease in which he pulled out his measuring tape, and in the suit that he was actually wearing. Tailored, Pressed, everything precisely in place in such a way that looked effortless... but that would take someone like Alex or Jason hours to get just right.
"Is there a color the gentlemen would prefer?" He asked.
"I don't think Mecha tie clips are a thing, but he might be able to get one custom made. A tad tacky for my tastes, though." Being presented with one of the stores employees as Uso precisely detailed what she wanted them to wear, Jason replied. "What, for pants? I suppose brown will do."
"No Pleats!" Uso said firmly, "Would you mind getting them both 2 pairs of pants while we look at shoes?"
The now tailor would nod, measuring Alex along with Jason just to be accurate, before heading into the back to have the pants tailored.
"Alex, you got a color preference? And Jason, go find shows that speak to your soul." Uso said, pointing him over to the shoe rack, placing a hand on each of the boy's shoulders so she could lead them in the right direction.
Seeing Uso so driven and... Particular, Arccos decided to take a back seat on this particular occasion. Leaning against a nearby wall, and pulling a small pack of potato chips from her pocket. Opening them by just squeezing the bag with a mechanical hand until it burst with a slight 'pop'.
"You know if you keep opening them that way their going to explode everywhee one of these days? Something tells me this place is the type to kick us out for making a mess in their storefront." It didn't seem to take Jason too long perusing the wares before he settled on a plain toe lace ups with a elegant, elongated shape and a polished black design. "So if Uso has you buying clothes for the date, does that mean Corgan's settled on taking you somewhere in meatspace? I kind of figured since he doesn't seem like he's very comfortable with his mindware yet."
Arccos just shrugged, popping a chip in her mouth. "Haven't decided on anything yet. But I'm half betting Uso wanted to take me somewhere as well, or something..."
He took the box off the shelf, opening it up to see if they measured up to the picture. "Hoping she wants to turn you into a throne after all, eh?"
"I'd take Arccos right here and now, but I got a job to do." Uso replied, "Besides, it is Arccos' responsibility to look pretty and show Corgan how a date is supposed to work for normal people."
"I... Don't think I'm what most would consider a normal date..." Arccos said, shaking her head slightly. Talking perfectly despite having her mouth full.
"Are you implying the lifelong gangster turned mercanery hasn't had the stable love life? Color me suprised." While saying all this, Jason attempted to covertly steal away a few chips from the Shipkeeper's bag.
"No one is a normal date, they are all each individual, special, and hilariously awkward so I can't wait to watch!" Uso said, "Yes, I'm going to meddle."
"You could just come along." Arccos said apathetically, offering her bag of chips to Uso since the sanctity of chip dibs was clearly already broken.
While the others were chatting, Alex had wandered to a section containing an almost inexaustible variety of shoes. There were hiking boots, sneakers, heels and even some things that were just labled "Jet boots." Alex eventually picked up a pair of sneakers for normal wear as well as some heavier boots in case he ever had to go into the mudlands again.
"Where would the fun be in micromanaging your evening if she was there to direct it in person? Gotta have your plans fall apart on their own merits." Jason added.
"GET DRESS SHOES ALEX!" Uso shouted, "Jason has the right idea, The shoes are classy, simple, naturally a rounded toe to show that they have a high production quality but don't otherwise have any embelishments. A shoe that knows it is a shoe and does its job... After this you need some casual shirts. Not the tacky 'Words on a shirt' either, something that doesn't scream for attention but still has some character to it..." Uso explained
"Is this going to be indicative of how strict you're going to be with my dress code?" Arccos asked off-handedly.
"You know who you are. These two don't." Uso explained, "I don't need to tell you want to get, but we should get you something for your date... besides, I'm buying this whole place anyways and opening a branch planetside so consider this a trial run for future women's fashion."
"I'd say Jason's got a bit more pop to his personality." Arccos looked across to Alex, "He's more of a kicked puppy."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence in my ability to dress myself." For the moment, Jason was picking through a couple of plaid and white button up shirts, not outwardly showing much offense to his Empresses suggestion aside from the normal sardonic tone his voice carried. "As far as opening up a shop planetside goes, would be intresting to see what sort of trends the nobles start setting with access to offworld fashion."
After hearing Uso's shout, Alex grabbed a pair of dullly shining brown shoes. After walking back over to the group, Alex showed the items he had obtained to Uso.
"Are these okay?" He asked.
"You're not wrong, either of you." Uso said, looking to Alex, and then to Arccos, "And YOU are still just a little kid. Sure're you've got a bit of attitude but there isn't much there besides that. Don't think that just because you can string some words together and wear a hat that you can run around on your own without screwing something up."
"You gave me this hat." Arccos said simply, somewhat amused as she tipped her Sheriff's hat. "But yeah, first step to being smart is acknowledging you're stupid."
"And it is a very nice hat. Goes great with the star. But you have to wear something else at some point.... YOU TWO!" Uso said, pointing to Alex and Jason, "Go find some shirts, something appropriately flashy but not TOO flashy. Something with mecha on them or pictures of ships, or comic books, or whatever. Faded look is great too, be about something without screaming it... And Arccos, we need to get you some date clothing. Corgan is probably going to over compensate in one direction or the other.... " Uso put her hand to her chin, and looked at Arccos really, really, hard.
Alex went to look for some shirts. After finding the correct section of the store, Alex picked up several faded t-shirts depicting mecha.
"So this is a... What?" Arccos stopped and went through her memory, trying to work out what constituted nice clothing to a foreigner. "Heels and fine dress type of scenario you're envisioning? Corgan doesn't own nice clothes, I'll have you know."
“Well this is Neplesia, so I'm sure the store has a spot specifically reserved for giants if you want to pick him up a suit.” Pop culture was unfortunately not one of the topics of the crash courses the SSI had booted into his memory implant before he was deemed fit for deployment, but he was pretty sure atleast one of these t-shirts had a chibi version of the blue haired Butcher of Halna on it, which was probably not the best thing to pick up with a freespacer in tow.
At the moment he seemed to be picking out a bunch of faded t-shirts in subdued colors, another showcasing the iconic hero Phalanx Phil, and he did seem to have picked up atleast one mecha themed one....picturing the infamous, long mothballed hoplite frame. Letting out a whistle, he said. “Man, what I wouldn't give to get my hands on one of these....wouldn't trade my M5 for it in a million years, but fixing a piece of history would be sweet.”
"I know, I'm just as worried as you are that he'll go full suit and top-hat... and probably a cane... fucking neps...." Uso said, "The key is to assert dominance in the wardrobe and establish the cues for a sucsessful date. Are you trying to get laid?"
"I can't work out if you're thinking about this waaayyy too hard or not. If I were trying to get laid I wouldn't bother with the pretense. Life is short." Arccos said, crushing her now empty bag of chips and stowing it away somewhere about her person. Time to humor the boss. "...Alright, how do I establish dominance through clothing?"
"Underware, comfortable, non-matching. If it turns out you do like him enough you want to let him know that you didn't plan on sleeping with him this time.
Then you should probably dress in something casual. Whatever you feel comfortable with... which for you, honestly, I'd just stick with pants and a T shirt... tight fitting around the chest, I mean, kinda look like you're trying to impress but not really.
This limits his options as to where to take you, and clearly establishes it as a casual date to get to know one another. Right off the bat you need to let him know not to take this too seriously, because he will. If he's any smart he'll have a few date options planned and will adjust accordingly." Uso explained. "If you dress up really nice, then you're immidiately putting certain expectations on the date that he won't be able to live up to."
"What I usually wear, but less worn out-slash-irradiated. Got it." Arccos nodded
"What you usually wear is dusty too... so you know... new, clean... tailored.... ill fitting clothing is the easiest way to get noticed and look terrible at the same time." Uso added.
"Are we assuming this is happening on... Whatever we're calling the planet today?"
Arccos hunched over to be more at Uso's level from her usual over tall height. Possibly giving the twins a look at exactly what the dating world looked like from the other side.
"Yeah, we should settle on an offical name." Uso said, "... No idea what Corgan has planned. I assume he hasn't co-ordinated with you at all regarding what he wants to do or possible activities which is why you're playing it comfortablesafe. No telling if there will be some amount of physicality involved or if it will be a sitting date. Either way you should be covered for the standard range of activities and clearly establish that you're not willing to go to some high-end resturant on a first date and that you don't want to be taken somewhere sloppy or low brow.... OH, and you need one kinda-expensive thing be it shoes, hat, shirt, whatever. That establishes that you are choosing to dress like this, and not that you are forced to dress like this by circumstance... Nice boots, Nice Sneakers, whatever you feel comfortable with.... don't make the mistake of wearing heels or something open toed your first time out when you're on a planet that's like 90% sand."
"I'm not that dumb. Also not really able to walk in heels. Free state isn't really big on scant footwear since there's usually nuclear waste lying about. It's also comforting to know you think this much about others when you date 'em."
Arccos stood to her full height again, turning to address the identicles.
"You two should pay attention to this. Store it to virtual memory or your mindware. 's good advice for your your love lives, if you survive long enough to have one."
“Nice to know that if i'm ever at the White Lament I should probably watch out for random fission waste lying about.”
Jason cast a sidelong, knowing look at Alex when Arccos addressed the two.
“Oh trust me, I've been taking notes here. I'm sure it'll come in handy if I don't slagged by some Mishhu positron cannon in the near future. Or whatever they're fielding these days.”
Having now aquired all the items Uso had instructed him to get, Alex returned to the group. Holding up the clothes he asked, "What now?"
"Let me see what you got Alex." Uso said, "That means you're done wearing your flight suit for now. Go change."
Uso would then turn her attention to Arccos,
"That doesn't get you off the hook for heels. You need to own a pair and a dress. Something nice. You don't need to get it now, but you should keep your eye out for something."
"Is there a particular state occasion for formal dress, or are you just having fun dressing us up?" Arccos asked flatly.
"There may be a formal occation int he future that I need you to look offical for." Uso replied.
"This sounds both responsible, and boring. I'm somewhat disappointed in you, Uso." the 'spacer added, slinking off to the women's section and loading up her body's exact measurements from some long-mothballed file in her mindware.
While Uso and Arccos were talking, Alex had went looking for a changing room. After finding one, he removed his jumpsuit and changed into changed into a dull orange t-shirt and a pair of long beige pants. He draped the other articles of clothing over his arm.
“Well, it doesn't have any ballistic plates, but it's not the worst thing I've ever been forced into.”
Meanwhile, the clone seemed to have already taken the intiative to try on the clothing they had picked up, exiting the changing room wearing the black shoes Uso had approved of, the freshly fabcricated brown pants, and a plaid buttoned up shirt he had picked out earlier.
“What do you guys think? Good enough for that noble party, hopefully.”
"You don't look stupid enough." Arccos said, peeking her head across the stores to look over to the change rooms, "Nobles back there dress like peacocks or whatever..."
"Well, unless their selling tunics or petticoats in this place maybe i'll just have to start setting some new trends." He called back to her, adjusting his collar while admiring the new threads in a mirror. "History tells me one of the perks of conquest is getting to transplant a little bit of your culture."
Alex walked back over to his clone. "How is this?" he asked.
"Huh?" He turned and gave the original a once over. "I mean, I'm not sure i'm the best judge of all this for pretty obvious reasons, but the look doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out, which is a plus. What do you think about what I got on?"
"I don't really know." A memory suddenly struck Alex. "It reminds me of my father, before he was..."
Before he was...." Jason made a circling motion with his hand, urging Alex to move forward. "Before he was killed? Kidnapped? Left your family? Got better fashion sense? Kind of trailed off there buddy."
"Before he and my mother were killed. Before I was taken away." Alex said quietly, looking down.
"Tough break man. Hope they went quickly, at least." Jason raised a eyebrow at the other young mans change in demeanor, looking more confused then sympathetic.
A bit unsure of how to proceed, he shook Alex's shoulders playfully, injecting a cheery tone in his voice.
"Look on the bright side man, 'least you got something out of it man. Augs, training a mech...me. Sure helping Uso save bug people and oppress primitives is a lot more fun then what your parents would be dragging you into about now, am I right?"
"I have no idea." Alex said, "We never had enough time in one place to do anything. I never got any real idea of what they were like as people."
"Eh. I bet they were fuck-ups anyway if the SSI got the drop on them, probably better of without him." He shook his head. "Dwell too much on what could have been and it'll drive you crazy. Live in the now, take whatever you can get, enjoy yourself."
"Right." Alex said, his calm behavior belying his internal turmoil.
"So, tell me, what sort of fun have you been up to why you've been out here?" Jace questioned his other half.
Scratching his chin for a moment before answering, Alex said "Not much really. I enjoy flying a lot. I also got a job over at that giant black hexagon."
"What, no war stories you want to share? Guess the place has been that quiet for a while." The mention of a job certainly piqued Jason intrest. "Yeah, yeah, I know the place. What kind of job are we talking about here? Uso doesn't mind? Does it pay well, see any action?"
Answering his clones question, Alex responded. "I'm not sure. I haven't done anything over there yet."
"YOU WHAT?!" Uso shouted from the other side of the store.
"....You didn't tell Uso before you signed up, did you?" Jason let out an annoyed sigh as he dragged his palm across his face in frustration.
"No, Why would I need to?" Alex said, puzzled by the fact that this seemed to cause such conflict.
"Because you work for her and so far our hours are whenever she damn well pleases to call us up." Jason shook his head, stepping away from his clone.
Still unsure of why it was a problem, Alex continued. "But I don't have any obligations over there, if I want a mission I have to sign up first. I'm sure they'll understand if Uso needs me for something."
"I think it might be more that you apparently decided to make yourself available to them without running it by her first. Doesn't exactly set a good precedent for filling her in when it comes time to sign a contract....actually what are you even supposed to be doing up there? Mech pilot? Because I don't even think we technically own our equipment. Sure as hell aren't paying for the maintenance on it. "
"Thats the only thing I'm good at at the moment."
"So basically the story to me is you signed up for a job as a merc while also working as a soldier for Uso, didn't tell her, and apparently you're expecting to be able to take whatever frame you're piloting out to who knows where, for who knows how long to work for them."
Jason threw his hands up in the air, deciding to be out of the way before Uso got over. "Yeah, I'm going to let you explain this to her. Good luck."
Uso, for once, was at a loss for words. "I mean, what the shit?" She finally said, "I suppose you are your own person.... but you're barely old enough to not poop your pants from what I understand of your species. Now you've got a job doing who knows what with who knows who?! Fuck... The Van-Bannings of the world are not people you can swim with."
Questioning whether or not it was in his best intrest to interupt the women, as per usual Jason decided to throw caution to the wind and bite the bullet.
"So, who exactly are the Van-Bannings and why are they bad news? I'm guessing they're the one's who set up the skyscraped, but thats about it."
"Van-Banning is the kind of person who can have a sky scraper droped from space. She is a doer of things. She is someone that you have to consider before you interact with...Now I've got to wonder what kind of information she may be trying to pull from Alex, or if she is using him to make some kind of play..... Not that taking your own initiative is wrong, Alex, but you should consult with me first on things like this." Uso said
"Does he know anything, uh, critical about your operations for her to get?" The young man narrowed his eyes at his counterpart. "What exactly did go down when you went over there?"
"Well he may have something useful on shady corporation X." Arccos said, walking over with a bulging armful of clothing.
"That's the spirit!" Uso said, when she saw Arccos' pile of clothing, "Alex, I'm going to start calling you sadsack if you don't cheer up a bit... but you do need to figure out what you want to do. If you don't want to stay with us then you should move on and be your own man.
And if you want to stay here, you should try working a little bit closer with us."
"I'd argue psychopomp probably wouldn't have let him find out much that would be useful, but then again now that I'm out of there I'm really starting to question their competence." He responded to Arccos, then followed up on what Uso said. " And yeah man, no need to play things so close to your chest. Try to keep us updated when you start working for shady people who orbitally drop buildings."
"Why are you letting her set up around here if you so concerned about her making a move against you, anyway?"
"There are the friends that you have that'll always be on your side, and then there are the friends that will be on your side so long as it is the best thing for them to do. Right now I'm invested in keeping Van Banning friendly which means keeping her from getting into a position where she could cause trouble for me." Uso replied.
"Pretty sure she also gave us a big wad of money." Arccos added, sorting through a pile of shirts.
"Which I also like," Uso said.
"I didn't even stop to think about that. But how could I have possibly known?"
"You're what? 10? You're not expected to know all this stuff at you're age. There isn't exactly a school or training program for 'how to run a planet and get rich doing it' either." Uso said. "This is a learn as you go situtation."
"I'm 16. They captured me when I was 6 and I was there for 10 years. I think."
"You can ask. Listen to mother Uso." Arccos piped in, "She's got... Well she has advice. I don't know about consistency of quality."
"It's brilliant advice." Uso added.
"Well, she hasn't let me down so far." Jason replied. "Then again I've known her for all of a few weeks. Can't complain about working for you so far, though."
"I'm still not getting over the time she wanted me to have an edible sheriff's uniform." Arccos clarified.
"....I feel like that would be a bit uncomfortable to wear out in the desert." Jason speculated, casting a questioning look out the corner of his eye at his Empress. "Though I'm pretty sure it wasn't intended to be around long."
"Why would she suggest that?" Alex asked in puzzlement.
"So she can erotically eat the clothes off of me." Arccos said bluntly, holding up a fitted t-shirt with an abstract looking print on it. "After which we would presumably fuck."
"Presumably." Uso said, looking over at Alex, "So what's it going to be Alex? What are you doing with your life?"
"Pretty sure we can dump--Er... Drop you off somewhere in Yamatai where you'll be able to just live your life. They'll give you a house, and money." Arccos said, tucking the proposed shirt away, "But at this stage we've invested in you pretty heavily. Mech repairs don't come cheap."
"I think I'd like to stay with you guys for now, I have a few ideas about some things I want to do." Alex said.
"Well, you could always just repossess the mech when he leaves. Find a new pilot, sell it off, cannibalise it for parts." He turned to Alex. "It's nice to hear you aren't running ou on us quite yet, though."
