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Approved Submission Infant Pods

Charaa

Charaa

Staff Member
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Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:ndc:technology:infant_pod
Submission Faction(s)
  1. NDC
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
This article was inspired by a game, but for SARP I expanded on it, and since the NDC uses Modular stuff, I expanded upon that here too. I used parts of the Drone template since I was advised that due to the sizes it would be better to use that rather than vehicle.

I also had received some help for grammar, but I am still worried that there still might be that I hadn’t caught.
 
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Is this actually going to be used IC? What is this "field" the baby is held by? Any reason I shouldn't reject this for basically being from Death Stranding?
 
I fully intend on using it for my character’s kids, and if other players want to use it they can. And the Baby is held in a kind of electromagnetic field, specifically the kind that won’t harm the infant. The game in question wasn’t Death stranding. From my knowledge, the “Baby” is inside a pod, but that one is attached to the adult’s body, while mine not only isn’t attached, but it also floats.

The game I specifically mentioned came from an Ipad story type of game that dealt with choices.
 
I apologize if I am being a bug, but it has been three days, is there any problems with this submission?
 
Hey Charaa!

Looking through the submission I've made a handful of edits. Here's some areas that I'm not sure how to resolve:

Injury Repair System - This could read as either good or bad for the infant inside. Can you take a look, break that section apart a bit, and ensure that your intention is clear?

The premature birth section could use a little extra attention. There needs to be more than bullet points there, ideally. You've mentioned measures for premature babies a number of times in the article - you could move the majority of those here or handle it some other way.

The Adaptive Nutrient System could use a pass. Does it make sense for parents to make their own nutrient solutions? I'm not opposed as a reviewer, I just think that sounds dangerous.

The Outside Systems could probably use a bit more description. How does it prevent kidnapping? etc. There are mentions of this in other sections, but this is the first mention of how it stops kidnappings and it seems like that could be contained here. Same for the others.

Damage capacity isn't necessarily required for something like this, but if you want to include it make sure you do it in the usual format. 1 billion volts seems like a lot - your average taser sends about 50,000 volts.

The Auxiliary Functions section could use a grammar pass. Also, what is Electric Protective Technology?

Price should have some fixed value unless you want to give it a range of features. It doesn't look like this is the case currently. Use your best guess here. :) Also, 10-20k of what - KS, DS, etc? Make sure to include currency.

Let me know when you've had a chance to take a look at these. If you're not sure how to resolve a specific part, let me know and I'll help you out.

Thanks!
 
Hiya Whisper!
I wanted to apologize for the delay. I got a little distracted, and funny enough, even as I write this I got distracted lol.

So I went in to deal with the things you were concerned over, and some things like the Injury Repair System I removed, since if they got injured while they were outside the Pod, then nothing is stopping their parents from applying the Sealant Gel then.

I overhauled the premature baby section, and I am hoping it’s better than before and likewise the Outside section along with things I hope makes it much clearer.
 
[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Approved!
 
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