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Approved Character Inoue Haruka

You should remove the taller than average part. The top end of average is 6'. You may be tall for a pilot, but not for a Yamataian.

edit: You also need to check and make sure that the History is OK, as I'm not sure if that works or not. And I personally would like to see a bit more in the skills, more diversity and specifics than just the baseplate.
 
Alright... I'm finally not tired/aching/busy to actually do a review...

Been a bit, hm.

Anyway!

You might wanna fill out your user wikipage. It isn't as much as a requirement then something that gives you bonus points in general, and isn't a requirement for the charrie.

Yamataian females aren't that tall usually, so the taller then average is alright. However... You are at the very maximum height to pilot a Mindy, the staple infantry armor. Thus it would be uncomfortable... You might want to lower it by a bit.

Usually it's best to make the metric measurements in centimeters in this case, though I don't think it particularly matters.

Appearance is really really small... But I'm not going to be anal about it. However, you really ought to lengthen it, put more details and such.

Personality seems quite Neko-ish which is good, actually. However, it doesn't actually describe Haruka past a outer shell. That said, you have the reviewer who is at ease on personality and anal on everything else. It'll do.

History is actually fairly good, surprisingly. Newbie or no you found stuff. :lol: However, it only describes a very bare minimum. You might want to actually describe what she did in her civilian life. Don't worry to much on if it fits with the setting, I'll let ya know... But the civilian stuff really isn't set in any way so you can have a little creative fun with it.

Skills! Yay.

Communication is the usual copy-pasta...

Copy pasta again...

Alright. The non-copy pasta skills really could use a bit more detail... But it'll pass. Barely.

Though this one still isn't approved and left in a state of not-approved-yet. Need to post again in response to stuff, yo ho.
 
A number of changes were instituted to the wiki for Haruka.

Her height was dropped a whole inch to make fitting her into power armor a bit easier, but was generally retained at 'taller than normal' as a distinguishing feature for her. Mention of her height has been changed to 'taller than an average pilot', to bring it more in line with references.

I kept the measurements in metric. Sorry.

Appearance was lengthened somewhat. I've found it to be quite difficult expanding it when 'she's really very average' is what I'm trying to convey. Still, I hope that does it for you guys.

Personality was beefed up with a look at how she is inside. Existential angst much? :D Actually, I was angling more for the stereotypical neko 'oh I don't know who I really am!' sort of thing. She's a personality magnet, she'll pick up whatever seems cool to her and run with it.

Didn't really elaborate much in history I'm afraid. Added a few sentences on her civilian life as a tie in to personality but nothing really substantial in my opinion.

Most of the boilerplate skills got left boilerplate. I don't know enough about the setting to write specifics about what she does and doesn't know about those. Expanded some on the non-standard skills.

Edited and resubmitted.
 
Approved


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