Approved Character [Iroma] Savitar Ananta

[Tyler]

Here we go: a char for Hack's Iromakuanhe plots

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... tar_ananta

 

[Revolver]

Re: Savitar Ananta

It's an Iromakuanhe invasion~

You might want to run over the thing with a spellcheck, and maybe a grammar check as well. In the history section there's an instance of "teh" and there are a couple of places where periods and commas should probably switched for each other. Wikification of some key terms would also help.

If you want, I can give you some more in-depth proofreading if you ask me on IRC.

In terms of the content, Savitar looks like a simple, basic concept and I don't see any real problems with it. Though, you might want to get rid of "Zodiac Sign" in the infobox, since I'm sure Maerkardan does not have the same constellations nor the same meanings as we do, but that's a relatively minor nitpick.

 

[Tyler]

Yeah yeah, fixed some nitpicks and all.

 

[Nashoba]

First pass.

Okay this is a dude so you can delete

Measurements: N/A
Bra Size: N/A

Build and skin
extremes of iether > extremes of either
a noticable > a noticeable

Hair and style
sawblade > saw blade

Personality
rebel, he > rebel; he
crass yet > crass, yet

History
shoo-in > shoe-in

Leadership
put himself in a > put him in a

Tech ops
computers have also been > computers has also been

Communications
A stray Medical appears at the end of the comm skill.

Medical
preprepared > pre-prepared

You went from referring to character as Savita, Savi to Ananta not a problem just a consistency thing.

Survival
civlized > civilized

Finances
Wrong starting amount and currency.

This character is not yet approved for IC usage.

 

[Tyler]

Oh yeah thanks for the massive nitpicking.

 

[Nashoba]

Just doing my job. Looks good now.

This character is is approved for IC usage.