manus dei
Inactive Member
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Approved Character [Iroma] Zalus Ka'salm
- Thread starter manus dei
- Start date
:lol:
I think a bit too much RUSH on this Iroma rush.
History - It is sparce, okay I will be blunt, there is no history.
Character skills
Almost all of them need to be updated, replacing The character.... with the name of the character. Plus any tailoring designered for flavor.
Inventory is clumped together.
Finances,
Wrong amount and wrong currency for an Iroma.
This character is not approved for IC usage.
I think a bit too much RUSH on this Iroma rush.
History - It is sparce, okay I will be blunt, there is no history.
Character skills
Almost all of them need to be updated, replacing The character.... with the name of the character. Plus any tailoring designered for flavor.
Inventory is clumped together.
Finances,
Wrong amount and wrong currency for an Iroma.
This character is not approved for IC usage.
In addition to what Nashoba has already said, your infobox on the top of the page should not have "Zodiac" or "Bra Size" entries for your character. Also, you might want to take a look at even just the other Iromakuanhe character pages and click the edit button to see their wiki code (but don't save, just hit cancel when done) in order to clean up your links, such as your personal page link (which is currently broken) and add a little more wikification to your page by linking important terms to their respective pages. You should be able to glean how to format your Inventory section by doing this as well.
Fix the link to your user page. It currently points to
character:manus_dei should be user:manus_dei
Remove these not needed.
Measurements:
Bra Size:
History
Have to nitpick here.
Under family you imply he doesn't know who is his father, but in the history you say "crew as well as his parents" Need to correct that.
Skills look much better.
Now you need the inventory and finances.
This character is still pending.
character:manus_dei should be user:manus_dei
Remove these not needed.
Measurements:
Bra Size:
History
Have to nitpick here.
Under family you imply he doesn't know who is his father, but in the history you say "crew as well as his parents" Need to correct that.
Skills look much better.
Now you need the inventory and finances.
This character is still pending.
YOu have several red links in the inventory
for example
character:laiz_pistol needs to be iromakuanhe:laiz_pistol
the other red links are the same kind of error.
This character is still pending once these broken links are fixed it will be good to go.
for example
character:laiz_pistol needs to be iromakuanhe:laiz_pistol
the other red links are the same kind of error.
This character is still pending once these broken links are fixed it will be good to go.
