Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?

[Fay]

Luca Post subject: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:45 pm


For some reason, Funky City appeared to be re-arranging itself like a giant slide puzzle. Buildings, Skyscrapers, Sections of road and slum were being slid to and fro.

Also for some unknown reason, the sky had stopped shining its usual shade of yellow and brown and instead took on a lovely shade of green and red, which confused the crap out of everyone and made men who'd been drinking everywhere to look at their drink and throw it away in confusion.

Weirder still... where the hell was everybody? The streets were devoid of riots, hustle, bustle and scenes reminiscent of action movies, as well as the occasional act of terrorism. Maybe everyone was holed up in buildings or decided to go to space.
Hold on, if people weren't present, how'd people look at their drinks in disbelief and throw them away when the sky turned a lovely shade of green and red?

Well, someone should come out from wherever they are or else we aren't going to have a story...

Hold on. This looks like a story catalyst.

Luca and Mitch could be seen walking down the street, "It's odd." Luca said with a hand gesture, "I don't feel like looting, because I'm the only one here, and it's easy to pin it to me..." Then he looked around a little and smiled with a shrug, "Oh stuff it, who's going to know?"







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:47 pm


Mich sighed, "Well I suppose that's the issue, there's very little thrill." None the less he backhanded the window of a liquor store, picking up an expensive bottle of whiskey and sipping from it. "Curse this new world - they've turned whiskey into tequila." None the less he continued to drink from it in the hope that tequila was still alcoholic, "So Luca, you've been around, ever seen anything like this?"







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:52 pm


Luca looked at the nearest shop. It was labelled: 'The Little Shop of Flamethrowers'. An oddly insane grin stretched across his face.

"Yes, but hold that thought," Luca dove into the shop headfirst and began taking what he could carry. Eventually he emerged out of the front door with a fireproof bodysuit, a jetpack, a flamethrower and a fishbowl style helmet labelled: "FURY".

"Maybe. I remember one time in the Prologue of the Phoenix I got confronted by a girl wielding a really sharp knife and she joined me because --" Luca paused, "Oh, that was Hitori. Ha ha."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:55 pm


"That strangely makes a lot of sense, and you're looking pretty hot in your new get up." Mich laughed at his own joke and strolled into the shop next to that which appeared to be called the "Store of excessively dangerous weapons." He emerged soon after clutching a selection of titanium tooth picks.

He grinned at Luca "Would you believe these are actually the most dangerous things in there?"







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:58 pm


Luca just nodded, "Yeah! You can put 'em into blowguns and they can kill people!" He pointed upwards and nodded, since it was harder to tell the expression on his face.

He decided to turn on the jetpack, and flew into the air a few hundred metres, between the sky scrapers. Suddenly, a section of building went past Luca and settled on top of another building. He came back down to Mitch and relayed: "Even the taller buildings are going slidey."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:02 pm


"Well we have three choices - one light heartedly loot, two try and find out what's causing the problem, find something that has an alcoholic like effect on us and get with the drinking." Mich reeled off the list as if they were rather common sense, "Personally I think Nepleslia's looking a great deal better, and the lack of noise pollution is a miracle."

Soon after saying this Mich seemed to discover that gravity had lost its sway over him. Logically he knew this was impossible - without gravity the spin of the earth should smash him through buildings and out into space, and yet he was floating a good few centimeters above the ground. "Luca, you're used to hovering - what should I be doing around about now?"







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:04 pm


Luca put his hand to his chin as he began floating aimlessly.
"Maybe we should find out what the hell's going on." He nodded, "It'll give this plot some direction as to what the hell our writers are doing."

Well I never! Anyway, Luca looked for a manhole, "It could be something deep underground doing all this."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:07 pm


"Well that would be typically deep and mysterious, not to mention creating a typical environment not requiring much imagination," Mich agreed, "But let's put it up to the vote - readers, what do you think we should do?" With this he looked expectantly in a rather random direction.

He kept looking in this direction for several minutes, "It would seem we're not being read very avidly, we shall get no help. Come - to the underground!" Mich made use of his sudden ability to fly to go searching for an underground portal.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:13 pm


Luca shook his fist in no particular direction, "We want attention! Anyway..." He removed the cover from a conveniently placed manhole and jumped in.

Now, I'm usually supposed to insert a good description for a sewer here, but I'm sure you've played enough D20 Modern and D&D to know what a sewer looks like, maybe you've been in one. Oh, and it smelt like the Nine Hells.

"It smells like the nine hells down here..." Luca's suit didn't protect him from smell, "Oh. Now I can't smell anything. I think my nose committed Suicide."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm


Mich took the clever precaution of removing a clothes peg from his ever useful (and full) backpack before executing a perfect dive into the sewer - where he discovered the flight effect did not extend and so fell without much dignity, "My vote says we go left." Mich said in as authoritative a tone as anyone can do with a peg firmly clasped on the end of his nose, grabbing a torch off the oddly medieval walls and pointing it dramatically to the right, "And I will go specifically against my vote for I know not what I say!"

 

[Fay]

Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:22 pm


Ignorance is bliss!

So, the two began heading left. Luca used his flamethrower as a makeshift torch. Oddly enough, there wasn't a methane explosion of any sort. Eventually there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
"Lookit. There's a light." Luca stated the obvious while wondering what the hell was going on. He considered that his writer had only 3 hours of sleep and twenty cups of coffee, so it'd be natural that he's completely crazy at this point in time.

"Maybe my writer needs to lay off the staying awake."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:25 pm


"Or maybe your writer needs to stop being a pansy." Mich said stiffly, "Mine doesn't have the ability to have such caffeine since he lost his pro plus pills. In any case - onwards!" With the typical bravado and lack of depth of a character being directed at 2:25 in the morning Mich stepped into the ever brightening light which grew to such intensity that he found he must cover his very eyes to survive!

In other news the purifying light seemed to strip the very scent from the corridor, along with that rather homey charm it had developed.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:33 pm


Luca advanced with the derring-do of the Fury from Metal Gear Solid number 3 with the subtitle that has an extremely blatant sexual innuendo.

"But your writer is British." And that's all he had to say as Luca kept boldly advancing nowhere, "Why do portals always have to glow so brightly?" He was the first to go through.

Then he fell some what 1000 metres and landed on a beach with about a bazilion grains of sand, a liberal smattering of shells, palm trees and a bloody huge jungle.

"Hey Mitch. I think I've found something."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:39 pm


"I really don't see how that has to do with anything, beyond my authors obvious supremacy." Mich replied just before Luca began his fall. After the fall Mich wondered why Luca thought that he would hear him 1000 metres away. He then began to wonder why he could hear him 1000 metres away. Under the realization that just because something had happened once in this setting by no means meant that it would happen again, but also that by remaining still he not only risked boredom but also the possibility of a 'prod' by the GM.

As such he ran over the edge and seemed to fall rather slowly before a rather enormous fit of acceleration towards the end which sent him straight into ... the sea. Ah yes, while Luca had landed lightly on the sand Mich plummeted into the sea. It was at times like this that Mich really wished that he could meet his author in person - he'd have fit him. None the less he pulled himself out of the water and onto the beach where he glared at the surroundings, angry that they were so attractive, "So what is it that you think you've found then?"







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:48 pm


Luca was still making resemblance to a pancake.
"Well. There's lots of moisture in the air, there's lots of forest, there's lots of exotic wildlife and the fact that my writer decided not to describe how the sky looked."

Okay okay, pushy. The sky was a shade of lavender and the sun was bright neon pink. There.

"Ah. Now the sky is incredibly gay." Luca took off his helmet and tossed it to the ground. His hair had turned blonde, "Bugger. It makes our hair go funny too." He sighed and looked at no particular direction, "Be honest, do I look like Raiden?"

He didn't get a response and started walking into the jungle, "We might find civilisation of SOME sort here."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:53 pm


"One I think it's interesting that we fell a kilometre under a sewer to find an island with its own sky, two, dear god you look more like Raiden than Raiden." Mich grinned savagely before looking at his own body and discovering he'd doubled in size. Mich had rather mixed feelings about this - being 12 ft. tall probably had its advantages, but such grievous manipulation of his body was not appreciated and he had increasing urge to punch through the Fourth Wall in the hope that some of the shrapnel would find its way to his accursed creator.

In order to keep up with Luca Mich was walked in his now enormous strides, "Well I suppose that really depends on what you count as civilization. It's not like Nepleslia exactly had one - guessing that Nepleslia no longer exists."







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:02 pm


"I guess Civilisation is a place where there are people?"

Luca began taking off his suit piece by piece. He noticed that his Iconic Jacket, pants and holsters as seen to the left of this post were missing, save a pair of boxer shorts with a heart pattern on it with the label: Iconic.

"Bugger." Luca said as he wandered about in his shorts, sill wielding the flame shooter thing and the harnesses which held up the Jetpack, "I am clothingly challenged."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:06 pm


"Count yourself lucky." Mich groaned, for under his usual (and now sodden) clothing there was not only his usual size, but his usual size clad in a bright silver bomber-jacket. It was perfectly comfortable but it was the thought that counted. To make matters worse his backpack, his trusty backpack, was gone - leaving his only weapon to be ... his toothpicks.

"Ah Mr. Luca, we've been expecting you," an ominously educated voice rang out over the island - beginning from a tangle of trees, "I hope you like what I've done to the place."







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:10 pm


Luca just happened to hear the voice, "Uh. Yes, quite lovely, Mr..."
He waited for a name of some sort to come out of his mouth.

Then he considered the absurdity of what was going on as well as the obvious reference to Dr. Moreau or the Matrix, but decided to roll with it.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:14 pm


"Rodrguex, a curse born by my accursed father." The voice was momentarily distracted before returning, "But now you will face my ultimate creation! Not one creature, nor another! A foul fusion of flesh that will make you quiver! 12ft long platypi!"

Much as the voice has conveniently announced from inbetween the trees came a great horde of platypi, each at least 12ft long and opening and closing their beaks in a most threatening fashion.

Mich took a few steps back, "Luca, please tell me you have A, your gun, B, a gun to spare." In the meantime he brandished two of his toothpicks.

 

[Fay]

Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:23 pm


Luca quickly looked over to Mitch, "Throw the toothpicks!" He turned on the flamethrower, a purple flame spouted out of the barrel.
"I AM FIRE SOLDIER." He said in a robotic voice, "I SHALL BURN YOU TO CRISP." With that, a long stream of fire burst out of the flamethrower and Luca began casually sweeping the platypi with incredibly strangely coloured fire.

"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, something, something something else don't know the words when we're together..." Luca began humming as he reigned doom down on the horrid creations.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:31 pm


Mich looked over the destruction that Luca was causing and sat down, "You know, I think I'm alright - call me if you need any help." No matter how deadly his toothpicks were they couldn't quite compare with a flamethrower when it came to pure destructive capacity verses Platypi.

"Noooo! You are killing my children!" The voice of Rodrguex wailed out, "See if you can face - the flying monkey scorpions!" This was followed by an elongated evil, perhaps even manic, laugh the sudden flapping of wings as a great swarm appeared over head composed of rabid looking monkey's who had the wings of bats and long scorpion tails protruding from their spines. Immediately they began to swoop down towards the pair."

"Bugger." Mich shouted, beginning to throw his toothpicks with pin-point and deadly precision at the incoming horde, slowly whittling away at their numbers.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:37 pm


Luca quickly stopped the stream of fire on the Platypi and aimed up at the oncoming bowel clenching horrors.

"Sir, I do NOT want to know what you've been getting jiggy with." Luca said as he aimed the flamethrower up and fired. However, it fired rainbows, lollipops and sunshine into the horrific creations.
Strangely enough, it was burning them simply because of how beautiful the stuff was.

"Now I've seen everything." Luca commented blandly.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:41 pm


As the flying-monkey-scorpions were mowed down through a combination of kinetic damage and diabetic shock Mich joined in, throwing his apparently unlimited amount of toothpicks at increasing rate in the same style of a dealer with cards - he could have sworn that the toothpicks were increasing in speed after they left his hand. He did not have overly much time to think on this matter however, given that while the abominations were falling like flies there were still more to come - and the noise of a thousand squealing was getting incredibly annoying.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:45 pm


Suddenly a few small bolts of lightning struck Luca. When the flash cleared he was back into his iconic gear, however, he was now holding onto an "Anything" launcher, loaded to the brim with big brass balls.

He fired, and the resulting blast almost knocked him back as about a million big brass balls eliminated what was left of the flying monstrosities.

"Nice toothpickin' there!" Luca commented to Mitch's mad tooth-pick fu.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:51 pm


Mich looked upon Luca with great jealousy and wondered how his author could be so cruel to keep such blessing from him - it seemed that the author had no particularly good reason and so rewarded him. Mich suddenly found himself in comfortable khaki and holding a Fanchette Launcher. Now this was more like it - Mich silently readied and opened fire with the weapon sending forth a torrent of super-sonic metal shards which ripped through the amassed abominations.

"My love life is none of your concern!" The voice came across, followed by a series of footsteps (strangely loud) running away.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:55 pm


"Oh no you don't!" Luca said, brandishing and reloading the launcher and running towards him like a mad bull on crack.

Suddenly, Flash of light, Luca wakes ups in a cold sweat and a smile.
"Damn that was weird. I'm hungry" He said as he picked up a bowl of crickets and began eating them with a straight face.

((THIS SHALL CONTINUE. BE WARNED!))







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:31 pm


Hold on, that, too was a dream.

Luca woke up again. This time he found himself in a place full of endless water, steam, fog and general confusion.
"Oh for buggery--" Luca muttered as he swam about in his clothes aimlessly.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:37 pm


Mich had not even had the pleasure of waking up into a drink, instead simply falling back into the inky blackness of the water - and strangely finding that he didn't have the need to breathe. He normally was quite a fan of breathing, it aided his whistling and singing. However he did have to agree it made being lost in the middle of an underwater realm rather convenient - and grudgingly thanked his creator. He did however wonder where Luca was, that is if Luca was even still around.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:44 pm


Luca decided: "I can't see shit. Might as well go swimming."

So he dove under the water, noticing his need not to breathe. So he he began swimming, then found something familiar under all that water. It appeared to be a Town. Either that, or the real world had decided to cross over into this.
"Interesting," Luca said underwater as he swam further.

Then some realisation hit him in the face as he saw his old house underwater: "Ralt?"

 

[Fay]

Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:50 pm


Mich's swimming eventually brought him to the front door of an underwater mansion. He though this was rather strange - although he assumed it included a giant damn containing breathable water. Crazy RP madness. None the less he knocked on the door waiting for a response. He was clearly insane - given that he was knocking on the door of an almost certainly abandoned building. He would have sighed if he didn't want to stop his mouth filling with strangely oxygen permeable liquid.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:57 pm


The door to the manor opened by itself. Oddly enough, the inside of this manor didn't have any water in it due to suspension of disbelief. The opening hall had a large marble staircase in the middle and doors to all of the rooms dotted on the walls.

Luca swam away from his home and to the manor, this time he got in through a window on the second floor. This room appeared to be a bedroom of sorts with a gaping hole in the floor.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:00 pm


Mich slowly moved through the door way disconcertingly having all the water stripped from him as he passed leaving him bone dry when he reached the other side, turning and looking at the invisible barrier which separated him from the countless tons of water. Now that was something you only saw on a biannual basis.

"Luca, you around here lad?" Mich called out, under the general hope that Luca would infiltrate anything which was even slightly interesting.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:06 pm


"Mitch?" Luca said to himself after hearing him call out. He looked at the gaping hole in the floor and saw a carpeted way around it. Luca smiled, shrugged and walked onto the carpet. However, it just covered another hole.

"ARGH!" Luca landed in a sort of library between two shelves of books. He looked left and right, "So many dusty old books."
Suddenly, one seemed to slide out of the shelf and flew towards Luca, smashing him in the back of the head.

Where Mitch was, a chair lifted itself up off the ground, spun around a little and zoomed towards him with the intention of hurting.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:56 pm


Mich honestly wished he could say this was the first time he had been attacked by floating furniture. Indeed the first time had been less than a pleasant experience and he had no wish to repeat the experience - as such he grabbed the chair from mid-air and firmly sat on it. He had yet to meet a spiritual presence that could lift him.

"Luca, we have have a infestation of ghosts in this here spooky underwater mansion." Mich called out, flying around the room on a demonic chair.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:59 pm


Luca rubbed the back of his head: "No kidding!"
Another book flew out and hit Luca in the back, "AH!" Then one flew out, but he saw it and smashed it to pages with a well timed kick.

He opened a random door out of the library and it lead into a gallery with a piano in the middle. He took a look at it and was about to press down on one of the keys, but then the Piano sprung to life with jaws, teeth and pointy objects and began smashing towards Luca with a cacophonous roar.

"Again, No shit sherlock!"







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:02 pm


Mich had, in the mean time, fought an epic battle of wills with the chair and come out the victor. He was now its lord and master - directing it through subtle vibrations in his butt-cheeks. It was on this noble arse-steed that Mich burst through the doors with a yell of "Yippy kie yay maternal unit!" And promptly directing the demonic chair to attack the piano - leaping off just in time and landing on the marble floor in a traditional low ninja stance. Not that he knew ninjitsu, he just thought the stance looked awesome.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:09 am


The chair sailed past Luca and smashed into the Piano in a cloud of fluff, wood and cloth.
The Piano wasn't wrathful anymore, it was pissed, had a huge hole in the front revealing its 'innards', and it was gaining down on Luca and Mitch.

"Any ideas?" Luca asked looking at Mitch.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:17 am


"Impromptu tuning session." Mich said happily, jumping at his musically inclined opponent and landing on its back, quickly kneeling down on the rocking surface to grab and rip out as many chords as was possible. It was this task that he undertook with grim abandon, a wide smile dancing on his mouth, "Luca, you don't happen to have another flamethrower do you? Or indeed your original one."







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:25 am


Luca searched his back. Nope, it wasn't there. So he decided to search for something that'd be of use. He checked one of his belt pouches and pulled out his 'Dragonsbreath' Flamethrower.

"Thank god for hammerspace," Luca said as he tossed it over to Mitch, "Now burnanate it!"

 

[Fay]

Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:42 am


Mich noted too violations of physics, one a flamethrower being pulled from what he had to assume was an extra-dimensional space, and two the slow motion and variable speed with which it flew towards him. He certainly didn't mind, especially since the piano was acting in much the same way, but it did give him an opportunity to work out how the weapon should be used. As soon as his flesh made skin contact with the weapon time was restored and in one fluid motion Mich leapt high off the Piano pointing the flamethrower and releasing a fluid inferno.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:22 am


The Piano went alight and began to produce cracking and popping sounds from the wood, as well as a discomforting smell.
"Oh, bugger." Luca said, realising something that HAD to be voiced: "IT'S MADE OF TREATED PINE!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!"

He jumped over and hid behind a bookshelf, battering away books which were bothering him.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:26 am


Mich now found himself in the centre of a death trap with burning wood beneath him and flailing piano strings barring much of his exit. It was time to think fast - thinking fast wasn't helping. It was time for gratuitous violence. Mich body slammed the piano in the hope that he would somehow survive - as it turns out he did. Indeed the flames seemed to be really quite cold and Mich was left lying in a pile of musical debris.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:28 am


Then the Debris exploded, but the explosion was heatless and seemed purely cinematic. Luca heard this and poked his head around to observe the damage.

"Mitch?" He asked, looking at everything scattered everywhere, "What just happ--" Then a book flew out and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him flat on the floor and the book exploding in a burst of dust and pages.

Luca got up, and he was angry, "Let's check another room."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:38 am


Mich looked around, rather confused, from the now non-existent debris in the middle of the floor. The explosion had even been ear-safe. There was something deeply wrong with explosions which where ear-safe. Explosions should at least create a resounding effect in the ears - Mich as an admirer of many fine explosions felt cheated.

"You know I think another room might be good as well. It might actually make sense." He grumbled.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:43 am


Luca quickly looked at the nearest door out of the room and flung it open, off its hinges. He then began dashing across the main hall of the mansion and ran right through the door on the other side, leaving a "Luca" shaped hole in the door. He came to a stop and took a look around.

This room appeared to be a gallery. Paintings, pictures and mirrors hung off almost every bit of wallspace, save a few windows. Most of the pictures appeared to be of the family that'd been unfortunate enough to decide to live in this mansion while it was still around. There were a few pictures of bleak landscapes too, and the occasional abstract.

"This might prove interesting." Luca said as he put his hands on his hips.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:48 am


Mich followed him, leaving a significantly larger Mich shaped hole in the door and stopping to look at the paintings. "You know, my education didn't stretch to pictures." He said gruffly, "When I see a painting I just think about how life-like it is, and as such I tend to prefer the photograph. Quicker, easier, more accurate. Much like shooting someone."

Mich looked around more, "I suppose some of these are alright, but I'm fairly certain we're going to be attacked by them in some way."







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:56 am


"Very good prediction." Said Luca as he put up his fists and twirled them around, stepping left and right a little to imitate a boxing match with an imaginary foe.

Suddenly, a painting began to shake a little. It was a picture of a man with a monocle and a moustache that matched his hairdo quite well.
"Wot wot, 'ol chap! I'll show you how to box!" He taunted as he put his leg through the portrait and out into the world with his fists up, "Now put up a good show, you little rapscallion!"

Luca was dumbfounded and shrugged, "Who saw this coming?" He said to nobody in particular. He put up his fists and and told the British Boxer, mimicking his accent: "Righto! I'll show you, wotwot!"







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:59 am


Mich would have helped Luca, he really would have, and yet he felt this strange compulsion to never hit anything that was quite so glorious as a British person. Indeed he was powerless against the raw British glory. As such he sat down on a little table and drank some tea. Yes. TEA!







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:06 am


"THEN IT IS AGREED!!" A voice could be heard from behind the broken door. Suddenly a referee stepped through. He had small, beady eyes and a moustache as well as a referee's uniform and a red bow tie.

"DO THE TWO PARTIES WISH TO CHALLENGE EACHOTHER TO A FAIR, BALANCED FIGHT?"
The two combatants looked at each other blankly and both said: "Yes."

"ARE THE COMBATANTS READY? 3... 2... 1... FIGHT!!"
So the two fought each other.
Wild punches were exchanged in a somewhat orderly fashion. After a few minutes of combat, they both punched each other in the head and fell over cold for the moment.

 

[Fay]

Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:12 am


In the meantime Mich had drunk a litre of tea - SO GOOD. However with both combatants rendered unconscious through kinetic force applied to the cranium he decided that a little more constructive action would be useful. As such he picked Luca up, walked into the next room, and slapped him to consciousness.

"Wake up! Wake up! Up wake!"







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:32 am


"WHAT?!" Luca said as he breathed heavily and wondered who won, "Oh."

The new room they'd run into was the Kitchen. Dirtied pots, pans, dishes and inane amounts of utensils were stacked up on the shelves, counters and stoves dotted about the area. It smelt disgusting, and rats could be heard crawling through it all, causing a light clatter, and the occasional tower to fall over.

"Lovely." Luca said.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:00 am


"You know, I'm not that hungry." Mich said in a somewhat disgusted fashion, looking around at what was possibly the third worst kitchen he'd ever been in. Yet again he wished he could say it was the worst "On the other hand - armoury!" Leaving Luca Mich quickly ran to the drawers and looked through them for a variety of knives, forks and spoons. In all fairness he would need nothing more.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:15 pm


Luca rummaged through the piles and found a somewhat rusty butcher's cleaver.
"Heh heh heh." He chuckled as he threw it at the wall with a loud "THOK" noise. He went over to retrieve it, but then the wall he threw it at began to crack slightly...
"Uh, Mitch?"

Then a portion of the wall collapsed, revealing a new direction.
"I think we've found something."







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 11:34 am


"... You broke the wall down. I'm fairly certain that's meant to be my job." Mich commented, pocketing a fairly fine pair of what he was fairly certain were monomolecular silver carving knives into the specialised sheaves that just happened to go with them. Just a feature of the house or an expression of his subconscious effecting a messed up reality - who knew? Who cared? Not Mich.

Still Mich offered to lead the way, not in a fashion which included actually vocally offering but more by superimposing himself ahead of Luca and walking faster.







Luca Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 6:54 pm


"Maybe the wall was made of cardboard?" Luca questioned as he stepped through and tried to squeeze past Mich, with no luck.

The room they'd walked into now appeared to be a children's playroom of some sort. However, if you decide to count 'Childs Play' as hanging dolls by their necks off the ceiling with twine, slashing the walls and the cot, as well as burning everything else.

"I've always wondered why there's a shortage of counsellors in the world." Luca questioned as he observed the damages.







Zakalwe Post subject: Re: Is Funky City giving itself a makeover?Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 7:10 pm


"Low life expectancy." Mich relief gruffly, walking into the room and looking around while fingering one of the silver knives casually, "If they do this to dolls think what they'll do to a counselor. Any idea what are game plan here is beyond being entertained by your player with different settings?"