Approved Character [ISS Dig-It] Machariel Valeria

Character's wiki page
Plot GM: @Legix

Everyone's (least?) favorite Patrician is back~

......that being said, the only thing that needs work is the "History" section (to account for what happened to the Anoiktos), though I'd like to humbly request that @Legix allow me to update the aforementioned section after it's explained in-plot.

1. Can you do us a favor and remove all the random line breaks that screw up the spacing? In the code they appear as


These should never be used unless necessary.

2. My major concern with this bio is that, for reasons which should be obvious, the Star Army of Yamatai doesn't enlist people who dislike the Star Army of Yamatai. Why would they actually accept him and train him?

3. Even if he joined, there's a minimum 3 year enlistment which hasn't been completed, and running off during the middle of this term is a capital crime.

@Wes, Oh, for the love of............

1. We've been over this before, I'm fairly certain - but I unfortunately can't find the thread it was in, so I'll state it here again: the reason I include the line-breaks is because without them, the Pre-RP section literally becomes one practically-unreadable textwall. Granted, the spacing might look a bit strange - but it, in my opinion, makes things far easier to read.

2. Kind of curious as to why this concern of yours wasn't raised at an earlier point in time, but anyways: it's because Machariel was (is) the son of a very high-ranking Elysian Senator.

3. I'm aware of this, and it's one of main reasons behind the request in my opening post - as it gives me time to explain just how Machariel ends up being able to join a ship nearly a hundred light-years from (what I'm guessing is) the last known position of the YSS Anoiktos.


Apologies for the brevity of my responses; I had to write them on my way out the door, essentially.

1. It's still a text wall, it's just one with giant random triple spaces that looks even worse. Can you use headers instead to break his life history up into digestible sections? That's what I did for Hanako's bio and it helped a lot.

2. It looks like it wasn't brought up because it was approved by a GM and I didn't notice it. Also at the time I hadn't really "cracked down" on "stuff that should be a huge red flag" for recruiting yet. There was another character that has resulted in me starting to look out for these things. But alright, I guess I can buy the senator angle.

3. So he's going to be a fugitive? There is also a buyout option -- maybe he got a loan for that and owes some shady lender a lot of cash now?

Once the issues with disconnecting from Yamatai and such are done, I'll be good to pass it. Formatting aside or not, the majority of the content looks fine to me. So I'll toss this to Wes to round out.

So yeah. This has my Approved stamp upon editing and verification from Wes that it makes sense from the Yamatai angle. =3=

Edit: Once it's all solved, one of you two @ me to the thread again =3=7

@Wes

1. Fixed.

2. Acknowledged.

3. I was thinking something more along the lines of "reported KIA," to be honest - as the Anoiktos (in my personal headcanon) was ambushed and destroyed by "unknown" (*cough*friendly*cough*) forces.

So...what happened, canonically, to the Anoiktos last it left off in RP?

I'll be sending you a PM soon (as in, within 30 minutes), @Wes, regarding that.

Since Wes said things are good... uh... Approved

Hope it gets moved!