Rejected Submission ITC locations

[Yoerik]

Well I hope this will be better than the ITC technology, but here we go.

Submission Type: locations
Submission : https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=location:dankestu_station ,
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:ushobrakflug, https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=location:dokusei, https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=location:usuikuki
Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Yes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
Contains New art?No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: while Ushobrakflug isn't necessarily ITC, I've added a lot of things regarding the system that I need approved to. Dokusei, Usuikuki and Nakama Rocks are in Ushobrakflug too.

Edit: the links have been repaired(I hope)

 

[Aendri]

Just so you know, your links are broken. The last three locations are all part of the main usho link, they aren't linked to themselves.

 

[Yoerik]

So, it's been some time now. I've added in some basic things about these planets and locations. How about them? Can they be approved.

 

[Nashoba]

Your system page is more of a Planet page. So you should move it to that and create a system page.

 

[Yoerik]

All right, I've relocated the articles to the location: namespace. As on Ushobrakflug: the page was in the same configuration as before, I've only added things regarding the above items. I don't know else than that.

 

[Aendri]

A couple quick ones.

First, Danketsu station cannot be approved until the station class is. As of right now, that thread has been put on hold, so that portion of the submission can't proceed until the other thread is complete. As a derivative of this, the planet article can't be approved with the line about the station until the station is.

There are also multiple misspellings in the article, including the name of the station class itself. Not a big deal, but please do a quick check for consistency. I find it tends to help to link such things repeatedly, that way you know each one is spelled correctly.

I also feel obliged to point out, an asteroid hitting a station during construction is no joking matter. It would do incredible damage to the structure around it, even if the part it struck was under construction. Like, the stresses it would place on the areas that were linked into the area under construction would necessitate replacing major structure components. The only way that wouldn't happen is if the impact translated mostly into motion of the station, not kinetic force, and that would be almost as bad, because the sudden movement would do similar things across the entire station, and would utterly trash ships that couldn't move out of the way fast enough, and so on. And all of this is assuming the corporation in question was even approved, which, again, it is not. Until the Black hand is approved, they can't do anything in canon.​

Second, you need Soresu's approval to place a BEST KEBABS stand on the planet, since it's his company. It's been discussed in the past with you, but you can't touch other people's companies/factions/characters/whatever else without permission. This also applies to the stand listed on the station's article.

On the moon articles, I'd alter the line about habitability to say they're not naturally habitable, as effectively any planet is habitable given enough time and/or money. We're in a setting where creating habitats would be rather simple, after all.

Also, though this is only roundabout mentioned in the station article... The ITC was not approved for the loan. You cannot add things into the articles until it's been approved, and the loan request was never even responded to, let alone approved. As it stands right now, they have no way to afford any of the recent purchases of ships. This same note also applies to listing the station and engines on the main ITC article. Until they are approved, they need to be specifically noted as unapproved on the page itself, since that page is approved. These things shouldn't be linked into the approved pages until they ARE approved.

 

[Doshii Jun]

tl;dr: This would be a lot easier for you if you stopped submitting things and just made your stuff noncanon instead of quasi-canon.

 

[Yoerik]

But I want it to be Canon. I want it to fit in to the SARPiverse. I want to work together with Yamatai(A.K.A Wes) to get my plot moving. If you can help me to get these things into a canon-like style, please do so. I need help. I'm only new here, remember?

 

[Syaoran]

But I want it to be Canon. I want it to fit in to the SARPiverse. I want to work together with Yamatai(A.K.A Wes) to get my plot moving. If you can help me to get these things into a canon-like style, please do so. I need help. I'm only new here, remember?

@Yoerik the problem is you're not helping yourself. People are trying to help you. But if you want to try to fit your things into the setting canonly, you have to first know the setting. That's why all your stuff was put on hold. Because you need to learn the setting. A lot of your stuff has potential, but you don't yet have the knowledge to work that potential. The reason people are telling you to start with noncanon stuff is so that you can learn more about the SARPiverse. A lot of the complaints people have or things they're telling you to fix about your submissions mostly revolve around lack of knowledge of the setting or how SARP works. You said yourself that you're new here, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you need to realize that yourself and take the time to become familiar with the setting.

Summary: If you want to do things right, stop trying to rush things. Sit down and research, and get people's help -before- you submit things. And the noncanon stuff is there for you to learn, it's not a punishment or something.

 

[Aendri]

The biggest thing, if you want this stuff to be canon? Don't try and write about it until you've gotten everything approved. If you randomly start writing about unapproved things in a thread, the odds on that thread ever actually being approved for canon are slim to none, at best. That's the whole point of approval, it makes your stuff eligible for use in canon RP. Without that approval nothing involving it can be canon.

And like Syaoran said. All of these submissions were put on hold because you were supposed to be taking part in the site for a while before returning to them. But since that was decided, I haven't seen a single post from you anywhere outside of your own RP thread in the Open RP section. You're doing nothing whatsoever to convince me you're sincere about wanting to be part of the setting.

 

[Yoerik]

Actually, I've been accepted as part of the 'The Fringe' plot. However, I was told too wait to get involved so they could decide how to introduce me to the story. @Floodwaters knows more about it, so ask her. For now, I will wait until I hit the 'three months' mark so I can actually apply for GM. I will only mention all the things that have been approved in the next ITC thread, which are the characters, the company itself and Prototype City Alpha. Actually, I'm quite excited to work on that part. In the meantime, please consider this thread on hold.

 

[Aendri]

Being approved to join a plot doesn't count as taking part. I'm talking about actively taking part in one or more plots that are part of the setting at large, not just having made a character and being waiting on a spot.

 

[Kai]

From a guy who's already done essentially what you're trying to do- Please wait it out. I spent over a year on Star Army before I made my first submission, and another six months after that before I started my company. In that time I learned a lot about the setting- how the setting works, what kind of technology is available, what is allowed, how to make things work, and most importantly- what other players want. In this setting, creating something isn't just about what you want, it's about what can enrich the setting. There are a large number of things I'd love to make, but I know aren't right for the setting. that knowledge took time, and has helped me become successful; My company has grown, become recognized, had several plots, currently has one, works with most major factions, is involved in nearly every aspect of the setting, because it's made For the setting, and for the players.

So please, wait a little bit, learn the setting. We want to see people succeed and create things, but we also want to make sure that they are creating something useful and meaningful to the setting at large. You'll be doing yourself, and the site as a whole, a huge favor by doing so.

 

[Cora]

I have to also chime in on the gaining experience before doing anything, but in my case, I was so hesitant in submitting anything, I waited nearly six years before I made my Telecomm company.

 

[CadetNewb]

@Yoerik - is there still interest in this submission? If not, I'm going to Reject it in 3 days. You'll still be able to re-submit it like you did the first time when you feel like it though.