JAM

[Zack]

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=nepleslia:na-jam32

To replace the older Na-K1-W3102 missiles.

 

[phacon]

If no else is I am going to do it, I'll do a review for this as my first official peer-to-peer aquatic technology review.

Wish me luck :3 .

This review is for: Na-Jam32

The submitted article is/has…
[+] A general topic sentence under the title header
[+] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG)
[+] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[+] In the proper format/template
[+] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[+] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[?] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[+] No red and/or broken links
[+] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[+] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ ] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[?] Lacking Detail (about IC reference)
[ ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[+] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[+] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[+] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
**No issues since I am not a moderator

Status: Pending

Notes

• Comment about scientific plausiblity: Uso did you see the reasearch that I did here http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B7y ... NjAy&hl=en specifically page 9 - 11 . In their should be something about how torpedoes are guided munitions. Edit: Actually this was my bad, I checked some other articles and I think subspace communication system would count as a wire-guided system, so never mind. If you like to read more about wire-guided torpedo's here is are two good links Torepedo Wire-guidance and article about the Brennen on of the first wire guided torpedoes.
• Submission has Art: I also think your arts pretty cool. Keep up the good work. :3
• Damaging Rating: Ironically enough without knowing it and even though this is a Nepleslian submission, you have also highlighted what Fay wanted to be the maximum damage rating to be for the Azoreans. Therefore, I think it is very fair Damage rating for an aquatic-based antistarship torpedo. Just don't go any higher please. >>;
• Wikification: Uso you may want to link to supercavitation. Even though I mention it almost everyone week, I am not sure how many people understand what supercaviation is. For example, I just got the impression from someone on that supercaviation is supposed to be stealthy. (I feel this might be my fault ><; )
• Question on IC reference and need for more detail: Uso over the years you, Tom, and Moonman have made lots of aquatic ships. After listing most of them in submarine combat and standard system, I wouldn't say Nepleslian have been exactly lacking in the aquatic technology department when over 25% of all technology that mentions the word "underwater" is Nepleslian. So do you think you could add more detail to you IC reference to old aquatic technologies the Nepleslian used or took from their enemy? That way this its even more of an upgrade. Anyways its just a thought.

I intend to finish this review by: Done Looks Good

____________________
PS Uso, I am not trying to pretend to be a moderator in any way by using this format. Infact that is why I used "?" marks. Rather I thought I simply wanted to give you a comprehensive review, so I chose the same format you guys use. Whether or not you take my advice is your choice.

 

[Zack]

Thanks for the Review!

I added a link to the wikipedia page on supercavitation.

And what infromation are you looking for in regards to aquatic tech? I'd add more in if I knew what people wanted to hear.

 

[phacon]

Thanks for the link Uso.

This development came primarily from the invasion of Kennewes when marines from Nepleslia’s Green faction found themselves fighting a determined, entrenched enemy that was using the planet’s oceans to hide submarines and facilities equipped with anti-orbit weapons that were used to great effect during landing operations. The Green’s marines found themselves not very well equipped to handle underwater combat, having to rely extensively on captured enemy weapons.

Well when I did the review I thought that the line that I bolded above is what exactly did the Nepleslian have or not have during Kennewes offensive?
Honestly, I could not find the archive Kennewes invasion, so I was kind of curious to know what technology did they have. Chronologically, the Mersina, H-ray gunship, Demon M1, and the NF/A 01 could have been involved in the battle. If they where their then what went wrong that still caused Neplesia to be "not well equipped?"

Also the HammerHead Bomber appears to be a result of the Kennewes invasion. Is their a relationship between the Hammerhead and the Jam-32?

_____
Second the line I bolded talks about capturing enemy aquatic technology. What technology exactly did the Nepleslian exactly manage to capture that turned the "tide" of the battle?

 

[Nashoba]

A couple of questions

Damage: SDR2 maximum
Armor: Personal 5

Might be clearer to say Armor: 1 Mecha after all we don't want people thinking they could destroy this thing with a handgun.

And 1,836 KPH is still damn fast for in the water, the equivalent of Mach 1.499 if it were in the air.

 

[Zack]

The missile is designed to supercavitate like the russian Shkval so it can catch up to underwater starships and submarines underwater. The torpedo does break the sound barrier underwater using this method and with SARP engines it could easily go a whole lot faster.

I'm also ok with letting personal weapons damage the rocket. It isn't exactly supposed to be well armored and a few good hits from a conventional pistol would be enough to put it out of action.

 

[Nashoba]

Ok, no other issues then.

Approved.