Rejected Character James Thompson

[Jim-San]

Name: James Thompson
General Information
Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Male
Age: 19

Family:
Father: David (57)
Mother Patrica (48)
Eldest Brother: David (28)
Second Eldest Brother: Stuart (26)
Sister: Samantha (24)

Employer: Star Army of Yamatai
Occupation: Computer systems officer
Rank: Santô Hei
Current Assignment: None

Physical Characteristics
Height: 170 cms (or 5 ft 6)
Weight: 154 lbs (11 Stone)

Build and Skin Color: Average Build, Pale flesh-colored skin
Facial Features and Eye Color: Normally has some facial hair, but not uncommon for him to shave.
Hair color and Style: Brown, and Brown again.

Distinguishing Features: Fairly Common on outside, but he has a cybernetic left arm to replace one that he lost in an accident (just my luck) it does contain some repair equipment designed into the fore-arm.

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Quite pleasent most the times, fairly shy to most females but is comfortable around them. Sometimes has the tendency to freak people out by saying things in a confusing way, while it doesn't seem strange to him.

Likes: Technology in some way, sleeping is a good one too and walking on the outside of a ships hull.
Dislikes: Being Confused, people shouting (has a self-defence against this by ignoring them), running out of money when he finds something he likes, killing things and doing stupid things.
Goals: Paying back the company that gave him his arm (only 127 more payments) and paying back some members of his family.

History
James has had mostly an ordanary life on Nepleslia while living close to a more calm area on Nepleslia, getting average in most exams, though one area he does have more of a interest into, and that is anything technological, from Engines to Super Computers its all something to have a look into. This interest has grown since the loss of his arm that he lost when trying to fix a Military Mecha, he instited to be replaced with a cybernetic one, now that hes got it, he now has to pay it all back with about 50% of his wages.
James can mostly do things automatically, but if its something that either doesn't pay and isn't interesting he'll struggle doing the task. He finally managed to get into the Star Army of Yamatai after failing the exam roughly 10 times, discouraging as this might sound its all normal for him as every failure means he can learn from those mistakes, reason why he took 10 tries is because sometimes the first failure sometimes isn't quite learnt. (still working on)

Skills:
Domestic: James is quite aright with doing Domestic tasks since he was younger, he doesn't like it, but he'll do it. Most Domestic tasks he doesn't enjoy are cleaning rooms (his in particular), sweeping floors is another one he can't stand as he can never get all the dust and dirt, he can't quite do laundry as all the different stuff to use, what temperate to set at, when to get them out of the washing machine, making sure he doesn't mix colours and whites.
He can do simple cooking, but most of the things he eats are made with strange ingredients.

Communication: While being on Nepleslia, James got quite good with communications on the planet's communications network, he learnt quite a few things while being on it, like the latest news, how to organise data into proper categories so other people may be able to find them easier. He mostly used it to talked to people on the other side of the planet to find out what has been happening to them.

Fighting: Living on Nepleslia has given James some basic knowledge of fighting in close combat and with some hand weapons, he mostly likes to use ranged weapons then close combat, as it means they will die further away from him as he doesn't like the smell of dead people. If and when he does have to do close combat, he at least likes a weapon of some sorts, either it be a sword or a lead pipe.

Technology Operation: James is quite interested into technology, he learned as much as he can about it from numerous medias. Being on Nepleslia gave him the best situation for this interest, he started to fuel this when he was young by taking apart old machines, then trying to make something new with them, most the time they ended blowing up till he worked out that he put some wires the wrong way.

Mathematics: James received advanced mathematics results from School and College, this includes Algebra, distance calculations, binary structure. Even though his grade results say Cs and Bs he is better then they say as he only got lower due to less interest.
He can work out most things in his head, but might take awhile as he makes sure he's got the right answer before he puts it to practice.

Engineering: James is very familiar with designing and construction tools since he was very young by drawing his own designs of vehicles already in service, he learnt more about designing in college where he got a distinction when he designed a probe that could withstand the temperature of a stars corona while still giving almost perfect telemetry to the host ship, one small thing he did over-look was the sensors so what they did get back wasn't much more then they knew already.

Vehicles: James is quite good with some vehicles mostly old tanks that he brought back to life found in the more troubled areas of Nepleslia, even though they didn't last long due to when he did get them working and moving gangs moved in and used the tank to wage war on another gang. Of what use he could get out of them he leant all the systems of how to pilot the tank and how to fire their weapons. He also knows how to use most standard vehicles like cars and trucks, James has piloted a mecha once, but not long enough to learn all the systems.

 

[Kayto Styles]

your formating is a bit off... some line spacings that shouldn't be there. You don't seem to have a History... Skills are not history you need a whole section for that.

And how exactly are you "Learning" Starship operations and Demolitions?

 

[Jim-San]

well, I kinda used the thingy from the character creation bit, though I did think the history line was a subheading, will work on that.

For the line spacing, I did that to make it easier to read, if its not good I'll remove them.

For the learning stuff, I added them to give my character something to grow into, though I know some of the stuff in real life anyway (maps are good, though trying to work it out is abit confusing).
I might remove that bit if it confuses people.

 

[Kayto Styles]

Dislikes: Being Confused, people shouting (has a self-defense against this by ignoring them), running out of money

when he finds something he likes, killing things and doing stupid things.

Communication: James is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, starships, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat

conditions. James is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc.

Fighting: James received hand-to-hand combat training, followed up with a rigorous training program. He is skilled and

experienced in combat both in Yamatai-like conditions and in zero-gravity, with and without weapons. Weapons He is trained in include energy pistols, knives, and power armor.

These sections are the one's with out of place line placements.....

 

[Jim-San]

oh that, I must of missed some, I kinda did this in Note Pad and there were lots of them breaks for some reason, will remove

 

[Kimura]

Distinguishing Features: Fairly Common on outside, but has got a cybernetic left arm that was lost in an accident (just my luck), does contain some repair equipment designed into the fore-arm.

Don't you mean he has a cybernetic left arm to replace one that he lost in an accident?
P.S. this is a run-on sentence. Comma != period.

 

[Jim-San]

is that better, grammar wasn't one of my best bits in English class, if any grammar problems just PM them to me, I'll try to sort them out.

 

[Andrew]

A few things about your biography

Areas with critical issues:
-History
-Skills

Areas with areas that should be expanded on:
-Skills

1. History – Critical Issues.

Your history could use some work. Firstly I would like to suggest that you use a word processor to check the spelling and grammar. Secondly, I would like you to contact some of the Nepleslia players and get extra information on Nepleslian lifestyles and settings. It may provide some insight or ideas for a better history beyond what the CCG supplies.

2. Skills—Critical Issues/Expansion needed.

Once again, use a word processor to check for spelling and grammar.

Domestic: James is quite aright with doing Domestic tasks since he was younger, he doesn't like it, but he'll do it

What domestic tasks does he not like? Maybe put something into the history to relate why he doesn't like them.

Communication: James is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, starships, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. James is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc.

Where did he gain this skill? Did he have some kind of prior training?

Fighting: James received hand-to-hand combat training, followed up with a rigorous training program. He is skilled and

experienced in combat both in Yamatai-like conditions and in zero-gravity, with and without weapons. Weapons He is trained in include energy pistols, knives, and power armor.

Fix the formatting, try and expand on how these skills were gained.

Mathematics: James received intermediate mathematics training, to including up to algebra and trigonometry.

When trying to become a computer systems operator I would expect him to have more mathematics experience.

Vehicles: James is quite good with some vehicles, mainly Tanks and standard land vehicles, though is learning how to use Mechas.

Where did he get the knowledge to operate tanks and land vehicles? Is there a particular model he is more experienced with?

James is also learning these skills:
Starship Operations
Demolitions

Who? What? When? Where? Why? I think cover this section.

This bio is : Not Approved, Needs Improvement

Feel free to contact me should you need help fixing this bio.
Thanks

 

[Jim-San]

hmm... well this is the first RPG when I've had to make a bio, so this is normal, most of it is from the make a character guide so I sorta followed that too closely.

I'll remove the learning bits, keeps being confusing.

 

[Andrew]

Where have you gone? We miss you.