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Approved Character Khelbaan Balal (first character ever so some wrongness)

Drekor

Inactive Member
Name: Khelbaan "The Dark Storm (or the Deaf Wanderer)" Balal
Species: Thaxarian
Sex: Male
Age: 29
Height: 8'2"
Weight: 327lbs
Build: Muscular
Hair Color: White
Hair Style: Long and tied in a top-knot
Eye Color: Grey (red when enraged)
Skin Color: Black
Distinguishing Features: a light grey line running from his left shoulder to his right hip and lighter grey likes running across his back. Scar in the shape of his Thaxarian name on his right arm.

Faction: Star Army
Rank:Santô Hei
Occupation: Infantry
Current Assignment: None

Personality: Khelbaan is more emotional than most Thaxarians. The emotions he shows most is contentment. He is happy about life and wishes to live it to the fullest. When he meets other people, he feels like he has to guide them. He acts like a father sometimes to his other friends. In battle he is emotionless and tries to obey all orders to the best of his abilities.

Likes: Food (in general), archaic weapons (swords, spears, axes), nice people, allies
Dislikes:
Slavery, perversion, vulgarity, a waste of a good weapon, killing (though he will do it), wussies in power armors that won't come out and fight (the same goes with mechs, or anyone in anything that would protect them from a good old punch to the head)

History:

Khelbaan Balal was a Thaxarian of no great importance. He trained intensively for a greater part of his childhood. At the end of his training, he was at a crossroads. He was board with his life and was not content on seeing the same things over and over again for the rest of his life. He wanted with all his heart to explore. He read stories about people going on great advntures, slaying monsters, freeing people from tyranny and all that sort when he was a kid. Those things never realy left him and he still wanted to explore. He told his parents what he truely wanted to do with his life, but they wanted for him to be an Elite Guard. He was opposed to this with all his heart and ran away, taking everything he thought he needed to survive in the wild. During his travels, he happened upon a pool and decided to take a drink. He discovered a box that contained a ring with strange patterns on it. When he put it on, he was sucked into a hole and found himself in a city. The city he happened upon was Funky City, on Nepleslia. He had to hide in the shadows and alleys. He realized that the only way to survive was to learn as much as he could. He observed the population and quickly learned the language. He proceded to learn as much as he could about the history and the technology the local people used. Khelbaan learned about the Star Army and decided that he would join up and learn about his surroundings, and if he can, help a few people along the way (and by help, he realy wanted to make a name for himself). He is very secretive and poses as the decendant of an ID-SOL. He was able to learn a little bit about the history of this planet, just enough to fake an identity. He uses his real name but he uses a different age and a different race. He lived in his homeland for 27 years and lived in the shadows of Nepleslia for 2 years.

Skills:
Fighting and Physical: During his life, Khelbaan has been taught by countless tutors the ways of fighting due to his fathers insitance. He knows how to fight barehanded, with swords, spears, axes, and other sorts of weapons. He recently learned how to fight with weapons like guns and power armors (by asking other people, even though he can't fit inside any of the normal ones) , but does prefers the company of a good sword any day.

Communication: Khelbaan was able to learn how to operate radios during his time in the urban world. He wasn't very good at first but learned quickly. He speaks English fluently and knows how to write.

Information Technology: Khelbaan had trouble learning how to use the Kessaku OS, but he was able to. Barely.

Mathematics: During his life in the urban world, he had to learn math fast. He is pretty good at math now and can do complex math problems easily, though he hates riddles...

Rogue: During his life in the alleys, he was able to learn a few things about life on the streets. He can pick locks, he can pick good friends, and he can pick his friend's locks once he finds out they aren't realy his friends.

Survival and Military: Due to his life in the wild, he learned how to gather food, make shelters, and make traps easily.

Knowledge: Khelbaan was blessed with a great memory and can remember things very well. He can also learn things by obeserving them very carefully or hearing them from other people.
 
Firstly you need to post your contact details. That is neccesary before this bio is passe.

https://stararmy.com/v-web/bulletin/bb/v ... .php?t=106

Very intresting other than this. But you'll have to talk to Skhaal. I don't believe they had magic before.

And I can't remember their life spans. I've checked it, and it's fine. Although I would like to know how long he has spent on Nepleslia, where he could pose as and IDSol.

They height should be fine, it's unusualy large, but not the highest that the Thaxarians can go due to random mutations.

Again, the problem is the magic. I'll see if I can talk to Skhaal about if for you.

He however has had almost a thousand years to live. Although there is not much in the history, it may be that you should have chosen a younger character, and RPed out some of those near 1000 years.

Still it is the best Thaxarian character in a while.
 
Thank you for the help. I'm going to fix it. I wonder if 372 is a sufficiant age because I don't know how fast they grow. Do they grow at the same rate as humans do (reach adolesance at the same rate we do) or if they grow slower.
 
( *Wonders why the heck people keep putting history at the end, when the skills should be last* )

Really, I don't know much about Thaxarians, so I'll leave the approval up to Skhaal.
 
sure but until I figure out what kind of magic Thaxarians will have you will have to make it so he has no idea about them and they are suppressed...
 
Done. I'll change the magic and the age and the history so it can fit the magic I use. Changed the history, and some descriptions of the skills, and the age.
 
Well after discussing the possabillity of magic teleporetation I decided that perhaps you could use Teleportation by a relic device you could have possibly found in the forest. The magic concept is still in progress.
 
Then don't call it magic and provide stats for the device in the tech discussion forum.
 
Crap, I guess i'll have to redo the guy. I'm not gonna give up on this guy so easily. No magic, got it. Skhall, since you created the Thaxarians, do you have any objections about my character? I'd also like advice from other people. Should I continue to change this guy in some places? Should I just scrap the guy and go for the other races?
 
After the revisions, I think this char looks good.

The character sounds really level-headed and mature. The Star Army could always use more of that. (I'm NOT suggesting that anyone's chars are lacking in those departments. )

Could we get a thumbs-up from Skhaal?
 
I added a little implant for him because he's lived on Nepleslia for a long time. You can remove that if you want to. I don't mind.
 
This history is really long. A lot of those events should have been RPed out instead of written.

I think people believe that I mean you should just put your character into an RP situation of your liking to shape the history. This is not what I mean, but by now I'd accept it--my acceptance doesn't matter anyway. What I've meant is that your character should have random RP in his history. Not an "RP" where you fix what is going to happen.

I said the history should have been RPed out, but it really doesn't make the character too special. It's somewhere between overly detailed and unacceptable. If you really want to keep it, I wouldn't complain, but I think it'd make for better RP if you started your character without all his experience. I really like the personality and your writing on the skills, in fact the whole character is very nice. Good job.
 
I get your point and am going to change my history. Man, all I want to do is RP sometime before I run out of time and have to consentrate on other things. I'm going to wait for about 2 more days until I give up and just create a different character with some more improvements.

Edit: well, ive condensed the history a LOT and changed the age. Damn, this is hard work. I wonder how long it ususaly takes a good RPer to do this.
 
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