Rejected Character Kilian

[Kilian]

Name: Kilian

General Information
Species: Thaxarian
Gender: Male
Age: 26, born before the technology wars, but looks like a young scholar because of the frozen stasis.

Family (or Creators):
No family contacts.

Employer: Self-employed, he tries join others merely as a companion/supporter
Occupation: Wandering monk, entertainer, designer and occasional vigilante
Rank: Enigmatic person 1st class
Current Assignment: Unassigned (for now)


Physical Characteristics
Height: 7' 2â€

 

[Sgzyr]

- First off, reduce the age of your character.
- Also, I see no mention of this "Inquisition" in the Thaxarian history at all, please clarify that.
- As well this "nano-ring" is not approved for use yet, I'd remove the item entirely until you can come up with schematics for it and it's approved for use ICly.
- It seems to me that some of your skills are at an epic level, along with the age of your character it seems like you are trying to make a hero. Honestly, I'd cut back on the history a bit and use actual RP time to build this "Templar" of yours but this is just my .02. Thad and the others can give better suggestions.
- Finally, please post your contact information in this thread: https://stararmy.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=106 .

 

[Kilian]

Yeah, well, 'inquisition' might be a bit exaggerated, but I took that info from the Thaxarian character guide, which says that technology had to be wiped out:

Thaxarians were once were highly developed in technological advancements 4 years before the first technological race did but near by planets were attacked relentlessly and actually took 3 undiscovered races out of existence and then realized what they had done and then destroyed all existing technology and used a machine to wipe any technological memories except for Superior Blacksmithing, Primitive carpentry and of course hunting and fishing.

Something I forgot to add about the skills, my bad: those were his abilities before his age-long journey. He's quite rusty right now and needs quite the time to catch up with his own abilities. He might have flashbacks and do advanced moves that surprise him even more than people around him. (Not to mention that he fights almost only in cases of self defence or eventually saving someone.)

The ring: awww... firgotten ancient technology is fuuun! ^___^ Also, he could be hunted for the damn thing.

Ok, I'll complete the contact info now.

 

[Zakalwe]

Several points:

First: You'll need to talk to Skhaal about this, he is the creator of the Thaxarian's.

Second: The skills on the sheet should be the ones he possesses' right now. The ones he had before bare no relevance.

Third: The ring really does need to be approved in the technology forum. The way it works seems to be a little edgy to me, possibly violating the law of Conservation of Energy on a practical scale.

Fourth: As far as my knowledge of Thaxarian history goes the 'Inquisition' as you called it happened centuries ago.

Fifth: If you really need to you can have him frozen in stasis and draw a line between chronological age and biological age, but you need to clarify how old he is.

Sixth: What you write about emotions and so forth is a little edgy. I think we'd definitely need Skhaal to comment on that part of his personality.

Seventh: I don't like the Birthmark. It's a small thing, but it's a distinguishing feature which you can go without. Your character is 'special' enough as it is.

Eigth: It's possible that the Thadian Doctrine on histories might condemn yours for being 'too special', however since your character does very little I'm not sure about this. It is far more likely that your skills will be criticised, because at the moment you're good at everything.

Ninth: Good to have another European. What nation?

 

[Kilian]

Okay, I'll edit my skills right away.
1. Skhaal, you say? Shall I PM him about the sheet?
2. I'll redo the skills in a jiffy.
3. How about I post a detailed description of how the ring works? Maybe if I clear up the blank spots we can work something out. (The idea came from Deus Ex.)
6. See 1. lol
7. Heh, minus birthmark? .^___^.
8. Too special? Wow. However, since he doesn't know squat about the community he is from anymore, he doesn't pose a threat to the universe as a time traveller from a dangerous civilization who holds key information to unknown technologies.
9. Hungary. It's raining in the hell-hole of corruption.

 

[Zakalwe]

1, I've already contacted him, he'll be looking soon.

3, If you post a description of the ring, detailed with information of how it works, and it gets approved, you may be able to have it in your bio.

9, My Grandmothers cousins husband comes from Hungary, great bloke. He fled the country when the Communists took over.

 

[Jadg Wolf]

Victor will have to be the one to go over the personality and all that; however, I think it's an interesting, quirky character. I assume the skills have been edited, because they're a lot better than it seems they were. It's all very balanced and I think it's a good job, but the history is a bit long. You'll have to check with Victor about it as well.

I think amnesia is getting to be almost as cliche as orphans and cybernetic implants, though it's obviously not your fault at all. But since the history is a bit too detailed, maybe you could cut that out. Some of it's workable. After the whole stasis deal it's not so bad, but the first part might be a little too unique. It just needs to be cut down a little though, and regardless of your action concerning the history, you really should put a definite age for your character.

As I said though, I think it's a nice job. Welcome to Star Army.

 

[Skhaal]

Ah, Another Thaxarian now the use of thaxarian sized power armors seems a bit practical. Anyhow I will list what is needed in no perticular order.

A. The ring, The ring will be taken care of in the contribution thread. I say if for whatever reason it's okayed Zakal's Vial weapon should be approved as well.

5. Thaxarians lack proper technology to 'Hunt' your character. Only thaxarians now are Ryuuza Kurodai, Willow, Skhaal Aethix, Methrun and you and Ryuuza and Meth are Stararmy soldiers. Skhaal and Willow are on neplasia as free lance Thaxarians so you might fit into the plot ^^.

Q. Cryostasis seems possible, There are many undiscovered cryogentics and technological sites buried around Thaxarian, a great deal of them hunted by a Technological cult.

6-O. Present day thaxarians kinda have a better grip on their emotions, rage and shame still stain their minds so it probably would be harder for your character to use his emotions.

BLARBLE. Wanting to be more uman might come off offensive to loyal thaxarians such as Skhaal so don't be suprised if in a conversation Skhaal loses his temper >>

(Will add more later >>)

 

[Kilian]

1. Thank you for the race! Intriguing.

A, As for the ring, it doesn't show too much popularity for now, hehehe. ^__^"

5. Kinda good to hear that.

Q, That's good news and bad news.

6-O, Rage and shame are a beginning.

BLARBLE (?): I know we can work it out.

ß-01: I hope I didn't abuse the Thaxarian species too much.

 

[Skhaal]

Everything seems to be in order, I don't know if the Nano-ring would do much against yamataian staggerng tech-levels though. Coldn't a simple Energy projection weapon work? I mean you could shape the energy emitted into a barrier by condensing the energy protrons or neutrons? and create a parrier. IT could also shape itself into a weapon as long as the whole thing had a battery or small generator.

 

[Kilian]

I get your point. Not much activity in that topic. However, the energy being manipulated like that would be just as absurd. I'm all 5 for your idea, but isn't that like a souped up lightsaber from Star Wars?

Oh, the shapeshifting energy weapon reminded me of a good ol' game.
http://usuarios.lycos.es/ps2forever/images/caratulas/soul-reaver2.jpg

Also, it might be better as a gauntlet fixed to the lower arm. We'll see how the others like the idea. If this weapon hits the spot, I'll also change a skill or two.

 

[Skhaal]

No not like a souped up lightsaber. I already have a theory of how a lightsaber could realistically be achieved but it would be nothing like the fictional one. Think of a long pole with a cone at the top that contains a seriecs of lasers that project down into a mirror network. Anyhow the particles of energy could be manipulated the same way Power armors could generate a barrier around themselves.

 

[Andrew]

Is this bio still being worked on?
Kilian still around?
Last edit I see is on June 18th 2006. Do we need to send this player a "We miss you" message?

 

[Doshii Jun]

I'd recommend it. Though Skhaal/Victor hasn't been able to do much with Thaxaria lately.