Kiwi Sensor Drone

This has Faction Manager approval.

What you have in the about is more appropxriatez for history

I changed it to history and added a small line in the about section.

Can you please fix the unapproved tag and switch it to the official one?

I'm afraid I need to unapprove this, it is currently missing the following information:

[Missing] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).

The article currently does not have an in-character year of creation or manufacture, once this change is made, then it can be reapproved as the rest of it is fine.

It's also missing the checklist, which is grounds for having the approval revoked anyway.

added date.

Thank you Uso.

Actually Aen, for me I don't typically post a checklist to a topic since sometimes the article is fine. In fact, normally the only times I do notice the checklist posted is when there are several problems.

That said, I did look this over and see no further problems. Just remember a few things in the future please, always make sure to includ the date of manufacture and creation but also remember to link it to the main time line ([[:YE_34]]) Likewise, anything of importance in the article, such as factions, should also be linked (NMX for example)

Anywho, I can't hold that against Uso in my case. This submission is currently Reapproved. If, by chance, something else is missing that I failed to notice - don't hesitate to point it out like always.

Checklist is option, a submitter can request it which once approved protects it from some one trying to unapproved.

How about the fact that the drone has no SP listed. its armor is incorrectly listed as ADR 5, which is an offensive rating, not a hull rating. It's shields are similarly incorrect, and are lacking a threshold as well.

Also, just out of curiosity, but how does aluminum, a metal famous for how well it conducts electricity, and therefore heat, shield against heat, and even more impressively, radiation?

Finally, what kind of engines are its sublight engines? All that's said is their speed, that they use fuel, and their general usage, there is no information about the STL engines themselves.

Good points Aen, I did miss those I'm afraid.

Uso, can you please address these?

Unapproved again, seems I'm at fault right now for missing some things that were in fact on the checklist.

This review is for: Kiwi Sensor Drone

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A very high level of overall quality
[x] A general topic sentence under the title header
[x] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG)
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[x] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[x] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[ ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ ] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ ] Lacking Detail
[ ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Short description of the issue. If a longer explanation is needed, put it in Notes.

1. No SP(Structural Point) Value listed. ADR is a damage rating, not hull.
2. No Threshold on shields.
3. STL engines have no details, there is nothing explaining 'what' they are.


Status: , Pending

Notes

Please ensure these issues are addressed

I intend to finish this review by: Finished.

This was just pointed out to me; but how is this probe using Nepleslian power technology?

Power

The Kiwi is designed to use a variety of power systems depending what is the most available during time of construction. This is usually in the form of a small hyperspace tap but virtually any power source capable of powering high end power armors can be used in the drone.

Click to expand...

Thank you for the change, however there is more I'm afraid to say. Something else that was pointed out, but that I pieced together as I read it.

This probes sensors have no listed ranges, but it's also rather strange. It's supposed to run off minimal computing power, so HOW is it capable of running exthreme long range scans if it's using off the shelf parts? The probe is much to small to be able to perform those scans, it'd have to be bigger.

Not to mention that because no sensor ranges are listed, this means that the probe can be used in ways it is not meant to be used. Like sitting at the edge of another factions system and scan everything in that system, when there should be ships there to detect it, but because of the lack of actual range details that tiny little probe can perform a job that should only be possible for recon ships, IE: Starships or at the least probes that are big enough to handle such a task.

It's computing power in this case makes no sense at all, off the shelf parts would actually limit it's ability to do its job, combine that with its small size, and you have a probe that is doing something it - theoretically - shouldn't be able to do.

My suggestion, because of it's computing power it shouldn't be capable of long range scanning as that would require a lot of power to perform, so dump the exthreme long range scan capability and save that for another tech (perhaps a dedicated recon probe) and drop it down to short or medium range scans. Likewise, please add some details to the sensor area, explaining the range of the sensors and how far they can look out.

The SP / DR situation has been resolved.

Ira added in the gart plasma thrusters and a gart nuclear reactor for the power source (Hyperspace taps aren't really nepleslian tech, they are Wazu tech that nepleslia uses. It makes sense that if he is designing this quickly he'd slap on a power plant he knows how to design.)

A range to sensors has been added. (Going to save the rant on sensitivity vs range but this is a 12m reflector http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atacama_La ... eter_Array and the Kiwi has an 8m reflector. Seeing the next star system over should be a piece of cake with a telescope of that size.) The sensor power required to run the sensors is minimal, you'd literally just need something to write to the hard drive since processing the data would be done off site.

The reason it can run long range scans without a powerful computer is the same reason why we have large telescopes today that run on computers no more powerful than a modern cell phone. The data processing requirements aren't huge when you have a big reflector and decent cameras. You don't really have to do any processing to the data you gather other than writing it to the hard drive.

Thank you for those fixes. I'll leave this here for the next two days, if no one posts about any further issues, then I shall stamp this.

Ok, as no one else has pointed out any problems (other than me being blind)

This submission is Approved.