[Lagrange] She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

[DocTomoe]

Prologue

There was something funny about change. Change had a way of causing a ripple, almost some sort of vortex thrown in reverse. Political changes led to new policy. Military changes led to new expectations for personnel. Though, there were few changes greater within the Yamatai Empire than the change of flesh. Within the short span of the Empire's existence, there had been eleven primary models of synthetic Nekovalkryja body, including their civilian variations. There were many more sub-variations on each body type, and each body, had their own specific gimmicks, their details of what made them tick, what made them special from each other. In a way, one of those gimmicks, had given rise to a distinctive new industry boom within Yamatai space, an industry that was once cornered by Nepleslian manufacturers, simply by virtue of the requirements of organic life-forms.

Change came in the form of the Minkan, and later, the Tennyo. While most of the standard features remained unchanged, there were distinctive alterations in internal biology, most notably of which, was a distinctively altered digestive process, and from that process, came a problem, a problem that had demanded a clear and present solution; toilets. It seemed that Nekovalkyrja had developed the need to actually sit and use toilets far more often than before. Goods such as toilet paper, toilet seats, bidets, and even innovative toilets in themselves had discovered a new market, and it was simply a matter of getting those goods out to the public.

YE 35 - Kotori System - Lagrange Manufacturing Facility #??

"Focus group?! What the hell are you talking about, with focus groups? This is a freaking toilet design, not a car or something!" Came the rather belligerent reply from the Nepleslian plumber which was in the process of consulting with a Lagrange representative.

"Yes, we have a mandatory focus group phase for all products, including toilets." There was an ever present calm to the female clerk's voice, it was that calm that was produced by not really being involved in the moment, and honestly, she was not, she was actually in the middle of serving as node #10,016 within her ARIA processing cluster.

"Any idea how long it would take to have the design approved so I can get paid?" Asked the Nepleslian, still not exactly happy.

There was a pause from the clerk, as she consulted with another processing cluster, this one outside of the Empire, and tucked away somewhere far out of sight, where all testing processes were carried out, with their 'focus groups'. "One week." it was only one week because they were between major projects, and they were on a minor project examination cycle; trinkets and gadgets were on the menu for the conglomerate. "That is if your design is chosen as viable."

"Fine enough, I'll go with that, just because you guys have set me up in pretty nice digs for the process. I can thank you all for that." With that, the Nepleslian seemed not quite as confrontational, but only because he was looking forward to raiding the mini-fridge in the Lagrange provided hotel suite.

"We will inform you when the review process is complete, good day sir."

"Whatever." spoke the Nepleslian as he left.

There was a pause, as the clerk reviewed her paperwork, then stepped out to the lobby which belonged to the 'Innovator Interview Division - Subdivision 37', essentially, where Lagrange invited people to come so they could pick their brains for any viable ideas, and, perhaps recruit new talent, and for subdivision thirty-seven, they focused upon one key non-essential project; restroom related goods. Toilets, bidets, toilet paper, moist wipes, air fresheners, bathroom sinks, portable toilets, and the such, while the far more glamorous projects were sent to higher subdivisions.

As the humanoid female android stood out in the lobby clad in her pinstripe skirt-and-suit combination, she brushed aside a lock of curled hair as she announced; "Next interview, please consult your queue number."

 

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A crack in the porcelain wall

Lieutanan Gokevitch was no stranger to beurocracy. He had worked in the acquisions department for the better part of three years now and was still forced to slog through every manner of paper wall and red tape fortress that the misused genius of brass level paper pushers could divine. But this, THIS! How many lawyers did these trade guilds employ anyway? Making mountains out molehills was probably just an afternoons entertainment for them. As he stood listening to the drone of the android as he stood drumming his fingers on the desk his mind turned toward the poor man who had been standing in front of him. It really wasn't right to so completely shut people out when they were being innovative. What did it accomplish to cotinually tell them that regs were regs and thus they would be lucky if their ideas ever came to any kind of market. Nor was it right to make the troops cross their legs and wait when better systems existed.

..."And the review process will take several weeks. At that time we can give you the review information."

And then I get to send it up the chain and back down again which should only take a month at the rate they go. Near instantaneous neuroprocessing and ftl data transmission and somehow they cannot make a decision. Not though it improve the military efficiency they were always nattering on about in acquisitions.

"Fine, fine. I'll take a ticket and you can get back to me when things are in order."

He found himself suddenly in a hurry hoping to catch the man who had been just ahead of him before he left. He was starting to hatch a scheme that coule land him a medal, a court martial, or perhaps even both.

 

[DocTomoe]

Little mind was paid to the other lobby occupants, at least by the Nepleslian which had been seen, and was on his way out. Lagrange was a good company, he knew that much, and he knew that if there was money in his design, they'd bite for it, no question on that one either. What was left was time and waiting, and at least they made that process comfortable. He was on his way back to the hotel where Lagrange had arranged a room for him to stay, that was, until he heard the sound of steps behind him.

There were certain things in Nepleslian culture that provoked certain reactions, stimuli and response really. Touch another man's radio, you get kicked out of the vehicle. Step on another man's shoes, get shoved. Though, running up at someone from behind, it was one of those things that just was not done, and the reaction it provoked was immediate as the Nepleslian toilet designer sharply turned to face Gokevitch. "The hell do you want, and are you stupid or something?" Asked the Nepleslian, his tone harsh, firm, and demanding as his hand resided within the leather jacket he wore. Clearly, he was not exactly a sociable inventor.

---

Back in the lobby, the Lagrange representative stood waiting for the next applicant, somewhat displeased with one of the occupants of the waiting room darting off after the Nepleslian which had already been consulted. It was enough so she silently sent a message along to the proper division within Lagrange for asset protection operations.

 

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"What I want is the same thing you want." Gokevitch replied. He realized somewhat belatedly that he had been less than wholly tactful about his approach to this. One didn't influence people by ignoring social graces. "I do apologize the abrupt and perhaps inappropriate approach but I was afraid that I would not be able to contact you later on. You see we share something of a common interest at this point. I believe that we both want to see these order filled in the best and timeliest manner possible."
The other man did not look terribly impressed by this. "Look I represent a branch of the military involved with acquisitions. We need things and, as it happens, the sort of things you supply. Now there are channels for getting things done but there are also faster ways to work if you have access to the system. If you would like to move faster I think we can both benefit by getting your materials to those who need them rapidly. Gokevitch exhaled heavily at this point. He had made his pitch and was still breathing a little hard from the running. Now he would see whether a jaded seeming inventor could be convinced to turn shady.