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Approved Submission [Lazarus] - Manportable Microcannon "Silva"

OsakanOne

Inactive Member
Retired Member
Submission Type: Man-portable directed energy weapon for use against extra-spacial life-forms
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=lazarus:silva

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Yes (DocTomoe, Luca)
Faction requires art? No (will come when I have a good computer again anyway for the hell of it)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:

Not entirely confident in my formatting or the base balance. We had to improvise a weapon that could hurt a Sourcian on some level so we drummed this up ICly as a contingency on Lazarus' part and handed it out to the crew of the Akahar for use against the contaminated Merril. Weary of Rebeka's behavior, Aiesu is about to authorize the crew of the Phoenix to carry a few of them too.

To clarify, it (by design) has to be able to weaken an ADR barrier enough for high-level PDR weapons to hit what's behind it. In addition, it has to be capable of some pretty horrific feats against metals, electronics and organics -- since a 'wild' contaminated is capable of salvaging parts from the ship, potentially even including power-armor into its own body.

Its a nice bit of kit in terms of what it can do but its unwieldy and there's going to be a lot of "did I get it?" because there was no bang or splash of gibs. No loud roar of machine-guns. Just beeping, like hospital equipment to raise the tension and put mistrust in whether or not the weapon is working. I half expect dumber users to look down into the barrel and fire just to make sure its working, only for their heads to explode.

The weapon is of course named after MMA's Anderson Silva - an amazing counter-fighter known for his Muei Thai, delivering what he called an 'exit punch' after the enemy went in for their own strike. The saying goes "left hand hospital, right hand morgue".
 
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With DR up in the air and revisions discussed right now, I've fixed the rest (as far as I know) and ignored the DR stuff for now.
 
I see that there's a History section now, but the About section is gone. There's also some red links you'll need to fix as well. To make sure you're aware, I'm trying to get the weapon to fit into a form similar to a modified weapon template while accommodating what makes the weapon unique. Most of the changes I'll be asking will be towards that end to better organize it.
  • About Section: A brief summary of what the weapon is. It'll most likely state that it's an energy weapon that bombards things with microwaves to destroy them, and also point out that it's most effective against organic matter. A lot of the information for this is already there in the first few paragraphs of the article, but just needs to be collected into a more cohesive form.
  • History: Detail the reason behind why the weapon was made, as well as anything pertinent that occurred during its development.
  • Nomenclature: Simply fill it out. Though, don't stress over the nomenclature system too much if it hasn't been previously applied with Lazarus' products
  • Appearance: Can you move it up so that it comes after history and nomenclature? In most articles, it's at the top, not bottom. You'll have to better describe the grips of the weapons though, since it's a little confusing regarding how one can be flipped 'through' it. More visual descriptions on the stabilizer will be needed too, since I think Steadicam is trademarked; if you can, please describe the stabilizing rig as it is, rather than referencing what it takes after IRL in this case.
 
I have a keyboard but given the extensive demands, I am not editing this document on a phone.

Again, this is on hold.

Cadet, you're so strict with format.
 
As with the other article, I'll go ahead and hand this over to Doshii - I need to take a break from the NTSE.
 
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