Approved Submission [Lazarus] Stealth shroud technology

Just, kinda as a counterpoint, Osaka. [X] In the proper format/template

That's literally the 5th item on the checklist. Formatting and template is PART of what he is expected to review and manage for each article submitted. And a lot of what he's asked for that doesn't fall under that part, falls under [x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble). The bullets are a good request on cost items. Almost every other item on the wiki has the price notated out separately from everything else, that way it's easy to pick out and find. I shouldn't have to dig to find that in an article. While it's not too bad in this particular article, it's not a bad thing to have it matching up with how other articles mark out their price.

Aendri, its an item submission, not a templated submission. There is no format, only formal requirements.

And no, the bullet suggestion makes no sodding sense:
That one sentence not only describes the relationship between the two but also their costing. And its only two objects, so it doesn't REQUIRE bullet-points: In formal design, basic english (you learn this stuff at school) and basic common sense, bullet-points are for concatenated lists of three or more items with no mated descriptors.

This HAS a MATED DEPENDANT DESCRIPTOR AND ITS ONLY TWO.

Its like this, if we imagine someone knows nothing about guns:

Its a document, not a power-point presentation!

This isn't about comprehension or accessibility, its about subjective preference.

It feels so much like stalling for time or being led around in circles.

Cadet has very sensitive demands for article aesthetics. He's anal about which kinds of headers get used and how information is depicted instead of how it is communicated. On an article that has no template.

This is sweating small stuff that is in the context of the submission, meaningless shit, causing delays and i have a plot where this is needed by players coming up very soon.

This is pedantic, asanine and frivolous.

Here, let's try this: Is this article...
1: Understandable and accessible by players
2: Suitable for the setting and gameplay
3: Backed up by past submissions, events and properly referenced
4: Scientifically plausable

Bullet points and headers don't change 1: Good writing and basic organisation do.

When I see you asking for formatting changes, this is what goes through my head:

Its a wiki, not a newspaper. There are thousands of articles with formatting
*FAR* worse than mine. This isn't stuff people care about and it gets even worse when timezones factor into things and most of us get a response out of you maybe once every few days, meaning making progress and moving forward is very slow.

And that slowness becomes enraging when what you're asking us to do is shit that is literally of zero importance.

We are not a news paper.

Also, for the seventh time, we have no template for special items or technologies. We can't by definition because those articles differ so enormously that we'd need like seven templates each by their very definition.

<Luca> He's the reason I'm not putting the Val'ta anywhere near the NTSE

Click to expand...

Jimmy feels exactly the same way.

Cadet, you have a problem.

I know other players who wait with bigger submissions for you to become inactive specifically so someone else responds to them first. Dealing with you as a mod for some people is like gargling nails.

You need to get your act together.

I really do like you as a person. I'm not bullshitting. That's why I'm getting so messed up over this.

All we need is for you to just do your job. Nothing more. Nothing less. 90% of the time you're great, but the 10% is something that makes anyone just wanting to get the fuck on with their stories want to rip their hair out.

Work with us, not against us.

Please.

I'll take a look at this.

This review is for: Stealth Shroud

The submitted article is/has…
[x] A very high level of overall quality
[x] A general topic sentence under the title header
[-] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[x] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[x] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[-] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[/] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[x] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[-] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Status: This submission is in progress (but pretty close).

1. Is there a reason there's no facial covering, or a hood?

2. Maybe I'm being obtuse, but I didn't see a power supply. Is there one? Or does it use an exterior source, like light or motion?

3. You're clear that it won't work very well if a person has to move, and that it's better if they're still. How does it perform when a person is in motion -- like on an airbike, where the person's not moving their body, but they're not stationary either.

4. Are you using the DR from Hardened Altex when you talk about it stopping low-caliber gunfire? I didn't see any DR listed, but I saw Altex has SP.

Everything else looks good. I think this would benefit from a roleplay, so we can see how it might work.

What is the lazarus:inflection: namespace for?

YE 37 should be a link.

It's nice to see an Osakanone article that is easily read and looks like a normal Star Army wiki article. Props for that.

Should we allow this to actually work decently for faces?

What happens when I shine a light on it, or point a laser at it? Would hard light stuff glow in the dark?

I find it really annoying an awkward when I have to RP a combat, particularly PVP, when one or both sides are invisible. Do you think this submission will make for more fun RP, and how? What are some things a player could do to counter an enemy using this?

1: Lazarus Hardlight developments. Its called Project Inflection, under the hardlight article itself.

2: Thankyou. I am learning. Pedagogy is really helpful.

3: Yes, its meant to be much more of a disguise than any kind of cloak. Fake your appearance as someone else or put it over an object as a tarps to hide it.

4: It acts like a real object would, reflecting light accurately. It cannot however, undergo chemical process: If you spray a chemical or nanomachine dust, it will react very differently. A large object like a frame could easily be outed by techniques like this. Similarly, it only occupies one state and does not morph to match the environment, meaning if for example, the weather changed, the caustic properties might not react to freezing, baking, boiling or wind properly.

5: If its used on a person to look like a person, look for inaccuracies in the disguise like poor movement and acting. If it is used on a vehicle, look for a moving rock or know it isn't going anywhere. Sonar would also reveal a metal object against the ground if you have any, since it displaces the ground differently from air. The disguise also is only as good as the planning as the user so someone less experienced is going to be FAR more obvious.

It isn't like a thermoptic shrowd which changes like a mirror or a screen. It mimicks a real texture and optical properties. Like try to imagine a big sheet that if you point it to something, it looks exactly like a sheet made of that thing. Your wall, the wood of your desk, bedsheets, concrete, tank armor, stuff like that. Similarly, try to imagine the disguise as a person always looking "a bit off".

Might be an idea to do the face as a dedicated mask for another item, if this is already over-complex. Its more like camo on steroids that can also replicate some uniforms or shapes of people with limited success.

I think I've made the nessesary changes but would appreciate the once over again, please.

Thanks for your questions. Really helped me develop and hammer down what its capable of.

I think everything looks OK, but I wanted to make sure the DR and power supply questions are answered. I didn't see those addressed.

The format for a link to YE 37 is [[calendar:YE 37]].

@OsakanOne, can I get those questions addressed?

This submission faces rejection in two days.

@OsakanOne, I need those DR and power supply questions addressed before I approve this submission. You're very close!

Added.