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Approved Submission [Lorath] Unified Manipulation Technology Suite

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The more generalised something is, the less good it is at any single task. I like the way you've said it only uses what's pre-approved in the article itself. I worried at first you were trying to circumvent the boards or something. Thanks for removing the ambiguity there :3

It looks like a really rock solid swiss army knife, something no engineer would want their ship to be without. You're not going to kill much with it but if you're in a bind it'll help you USSMakeShitUp™, which is a real staple of scifi whether we really like it or not.

The small print on the bottom is nice but I think you should explain this more explicitly: It'd be good if you collate this information somewhere clearly visible to people who are skimming this over - ideally toward the top in a header marked limitations. It'd make life easier for players who already have a sense of "okay it obviously does mostly anything" and want to know what it can't do more than they want to know what it can do.

Other than that, I think you should include a list of notable uses, so players can see what its been used for in the past and who by as a sort of history. Something like that would mean once its used and worn in, we get a real sense of what people like to do with it. Some example scenarios would also be nice to get people started since like 80% of the site are going to look at this and go "huh?"
 
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Each classification of the system (i.e 'Personnel', 'Power Armor', 'Vehicle' etc.) has a distinctive statement of limitations on the technical specifications of the unit and just what it can do. Furthermore, there are elaborations as to function under the system listings of the technology suite. Largely, beyond explaining the technical elaboration of just what it does, I want to leave it to players using it to come up with functions, I don't want to limit the scope of creativity by burdening players with an instruction manual which can narrow the range of thought which can be applied to this technology piece meant to drive creativity. As for establishing what it can't do, that is clearly indicated there in the article, and, with the help of GMs, which should be doing their job, there is a guiding hand to maintain things within sensible reason and balance when in application.
 
This seems kind of OP to me, mainly because it does basically everything.
 
Wes, generalisation is a natural progression of advance. As time moves on, our military doctrine has become a combination of generalised performance and mixed doctrine. Multirole fighters aren't OP: they're designed to fit a mission spec. They don't excel in any one area and are easily exceeded and considered hugely underspec compared to more specialised units.

And that's the point: This isn't a substitute for dedicated specialised equipment, which is very clearly stated.

It doesn't perform anywhere NEAR as well as dedicated equipment.

A swiss army knife isn't going to gut someone. Its going to let you do lots of things but beyond a weak shanking, its pretty useless in combat.
 
Wes, last I checked, there is a system in use with a smaller form factor which is capable of gravitational manipulation, electromagnetic field manipulation, built-in communication suite, on-board processor, beyond superhuman strength, with self-regeneration capabilities, and an easy-to-maintain power supply. Nekovalkyrja.

As is illustrated in the example RP right there, the personnel-scale unit has distinctive limitations, boundaries to the capabilities of the unit which clearly indicate that it is a "Jack of all trades but master of none". Furthermore, it is clearly indicated in the article, and in Osaka commentary even (Hell, she's meant to be on my side you know, co-FM and such) that the system is inferior to any device that would be devoted to any one of the tasks that the unit can perform. In short-hand, it means, I wrote it to not be overpowered and the limitations which are expressly stated make that clear.

Furthermore, the limitations become even more pronounced when compared to devoted equipment which can be found in vehicle models.

Edit: I'd like to add, my playerbase really is fond of this submission. They like it, they don't think it is overpowered, they knew just what it was capable/not-capable of, and they really want to see this thing come through because we don't have much to show for personnel-level kit articles at the moment, and even this non-specialized piece would be very welcome and would help my guys move plot and not find themselves sorely lacking equipment their PCs need to get something done, or not done, for that matter.
 
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Well my review will be complete and I will use the checklist to make sure it is thorough. :)
 
This review is for: Unified Manipulation Technology Suite

The submitted article is/has…
[X] A very high level of overall quality
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header
[NA] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[X] In the proper format/template
[X] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[X] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[X] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[X] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[-] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[X] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Short description of the issue. If a longer explanation is needed, put it in Notes.

One small item is missing. The in-character year of creation needs to be added. Other than that its good to go.

Status: Pending

Notes
This field is for any extra description needed for the issues stated above or (as the name suggests) and additional notes you wish to state in the record regarding the item.

I intend to finish this review by: Complete
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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